Cough and thoracic spine pain and soooo scared

Hi all,

I am back . It has been a while.
I just wanted some advise and support form this lovely community❤️.

About 2 months ago I started to have this silly cough every day . It was so annoying but I did not make much out of it thinking it could be asthma .

After 3 weeks of nonstop coughing I went to see my gp and she said I had a little wheezing so she gave me an inhaler with 2 steroids .They also tested me for Covid and I was negative. I tried the inhaler for two days and it helped decrease the cough but it gave me palpitations and nervousness.

So I went to the Emergency (tested negative for Covid again) and they did a chest xray which was cleared and blood test all came out ok . So the er doctor said to stop the inhaler and take antibiotics with codeine .

The next day I rebooked an appointment with my GP family doctor and she told me not to take the antibiotics . She listened to my chest and said it was clear. I also told her how my pain between my scapulas (midback ) was hurting me a lot. She said it was from all the coughing. The pain radiates from the mid back to the front sternum chest bone. It hurts to stand (. She suggested that I get on ventoline and use it when needed.

The next few days were horrible . I have never coughed sooooo much . I returned to the gp 2 days after again. She listened to my chest and said all is well but she prescribed antibiotics. That same night I felt veryyyy offf so I decided to test for Covid . It was POSITIVE !!! I called the gp and she told me to stop antibiotics and ride it out .

This was 2 weeks ago and yes I am better with less fatigue and I am no longer covid positive but I still have this lingering wet/dry cough with soooo much pain in my mid thoracic spine .

Now the reason I am writing this is bc I have so much fear that this could be a missed cancer diagnoses as I know that X-rays can miss this. My family tells me to stop worrying that I have an awful illness. My husband reminds me that if I had an awful illness I would not be able to run 7km like I do every two days . I also eat a very clean diet. I am 48 yr old female with good weight . I meditate , I do qigong, I see a psychologist for CBD treatment for anxiety. My fear would go down if I had a cat scan but my doctor insists that I am fine . How can she be so sure of that without further imaging. What if I have metastasis to the spine !!!!! Oh my god my brain is non stop worrying . Could this be TMS?!!!! I am afraid that if I see it as tms that I may miss a critical diagnoses!!!

Thank you alll . This is not easy but I think I should start tms work. I just have soooo much fear that I am missing a diagnoses and that one chest xray is just not enough or is it?

 

@Nana I had a chronic cough for at least 8 years. I had back pain.
It had started with upper pain, probably 25 years ago but that slowly got less painful until sudden bought of lower back pain. I had many other symptoms (that seemed unrelated) at the time.
It never occurred to me I had anxiety. The cough became a form of LPR and I knew it was related to my back. After several years I noticed I was extremely tight in the shoulder blades.
Fast forward 10 years and after finding TMS and a particular form of PT, I put it all together.
My anxiety had changed my breathing habits and eventually a host of symptoms - and muscle tension had increased dramatically. I recognized that 95% of my stress was internally generated and related to negative thinking about myself which had become irritation about others. The other 5% was my reaction to external events that cause stress and my emotional repression surrounding them.
TMS work and breathing exercises, specifically controlling inhales and elongating exhales has done wonders for me. I do this during meditation, but also doing modified yoga type movements and QiGong.
I no longer have a chronic cough unless I become very anxious. It leaves quickly the moment I recognize it happening now by simply acknowledging and accepting its presence. Doing the SEP helped me recognize the triggers for the coughing behaviour.
I was never hyper focused or catastrophising about that symptom, just curious.

I would question how well the CBD is working for your anxiety. It really doesn’t work for me or others with TMS because TMS functions more like OCD. I used EMDR therapy for a few months to help with the anxiety (amazing, but you see much more progress a few months after stopping treatment), and now work on the other thought patterns in my life that are similar to the ones about the symptoms (eg repetitive negative self thoughts. ) using a method described as STOP. I have had to redirect my thoughts thousands of times a day but I refuse to believe what my brain tells me. My brain is not me. It’s just an organ that controls my nervous system and gives me a lot of useless internal dialogue.
Facing the true sources of my anxiety helped me accept it and move on.

Hope that helps.

 

Hi, Nana!
Yes, your cough is TMS. I have had several coughing episodes in my lifetime and they were all TMS. On one of them, I went to a pulmonologist who just shook his head and said “I have no idea.” Then I went to an allergist who said I had asthma and gave me three medications that made me very sick. I threw them away. Time went by and the TMS passed. I didn’t know about Dr. Sarno at the time.

Since then, I learned that TMS manifested through coughing can symbolize that you aren’t able to say something you need to say— something you’re mad about. Both times that I had that lingering cough —and they lasted more than six months at a time —I had a really terrible boss. In one case, the boss was sexually harassing me and all the women in the office and I was too afraid to tell HR. The other time, I was pretending I was happy with my job when really my boss was making my life hell and was condescending to me. Both coughs disappeared when I left those jobs.

I also had a really long cough after Covid. I think because there were a few people I didn’t want to talk to. I’ve since dealt with that. My anxiety was through the roof.

TMS is anxiety; anxiety is TMS —so if you can treat your anxiety, it will calm down your cough. Do your journaling figure out what you’re angry about that you’re not able to say to somebody and it could be somebody in plain sight —someone in your life that you think everything’s going great with, but it’s really not —that’s what TMS is all about.

Your brain is winning right now because all you’re doing is focusing on tragic medical scenarios when really you need to focus on what in the heck is bothering you —something is really bothering you. That’s my best advice, and I’ve really been around the Mulberry Bush with the coughing for sure. I know for a fact it’s TMS. It’s really miserable! And it does give you back aches. Sorry you’re experiencing this. Hope you feel better soon.

Claire Weekes’ Hope and Help for Your Nerves is a short phenomenal book on anxiety. Everyone in the wiki kept urging me to read it. I kept putting it off but when I finally did, my anxiety started getting better. I HIGHLY recommend that book. It will change your life. Easy to read, too.

 

Yes Jana! I totally ment cbt!! Omg I am so sorry! There are so many abbreviations!
Yes I believe I may need more psychotherapy. I have gone through that in the past . I need someone who is specialized in TMS but I live in NZ and most people have no clue of what tms is .
I guess I have to do research . Thank you Jana !

 

Thank you Diana for your thoughtful message and taking time to help a stranger.
Strange bc my life right now is not so bad apart from perimenopause and anxiety. Who knows , I may have to do some digging.
Scary thoughts of possible worst case scenarios are awfully hard to get over . My mind is an expert at this!! I could have directed so many movies.
The problem with this cough is when the reflex wants it to come on it is so hard to suppress! It is like a ballon that is so full of air that it has no choice but to bust. Funny thing is at night I do not cough and when I do my qigong exercise I do not cough and when I run I also do not cough ‍♀️‍♀️

 

thank you cactus flower! Yes your reply was truly helpful and supportive! one question where did you learn your breathing exercises? I also do qigong and funny thing is during qigong, running, and sleepi g I do not feel like coughing. But the reflex is so difficult to stop grrrrrrrr .

 

The fact that it does this doesn’t make sense for it to be a brain tumor, does it? Wouldn’t the coughing be continuous? Kind of proves TMS. If you think about it, there are probably other examples that don’t make sense you have something worse than TMS.

Check this out. It’s an interview of a success story you might like.

 

I learned the breathing from my PT who suggests you breath into your back, not with force, but with a light thought and attention, right at the bra strap. I have "tools" I use at times when I find that it is difficult to slow the breath down too - one is a straw, it just helps with a long exhale, the other is blowing bubbles! The idea is to make this totally fun, and get your brain to see it as nothing but fun and goofiness. You need to take all intention away from doing it "perfectly" or it correcting anything physical ... it's simply cuing your nervous system to slow down. My PT has now asked me to use the same method in Qi Gong (which would, at first months ago make me breath fast in anxiety of the movements), and it's working really well. So meditative. This method would also work great with fun yoga poses like trying to do Warrior with a straw in your mouth breathing out a long exhale...what a fun silly challenge!

Watch your reactions to things like "GRRRRR" - that is you being hard on yourself by not being able to control your body. This isn't about your body at all, it's about changing the tone of your nervous system by changing your thought patterns from reactions and essentially wanting to push away all these physical sensations of anxiety to responding which is a gentle and kind inner sense of acceptance of the situation. This is how we stimulate what some people call the "relaxation response" however it's really just regulating the nervous system, which is supposed to kind of swing like a pendulum between states instead of getting stuck. I know when my mind is stuck, my nervous system is gonna get stuck too.
I've had to learn the hard way that pushing and striving and forcing myself is going to put increased stress on my mind and nervous system. It sounds like you are already super successful with this practice during QiGong, running and sleeping, so please remind yourself and your body you are ALREADY SUCCESSFUL - now you just want to teach your brain and your thought patterns to generalize this kind response to yourself. For awhile it will seem like you are doubling down - working on your nervous system response and working on the OCD like thought patterns with your fear of cancer.

I was thinking today about how we have been discussing (amongst us older TMS-ers) about the age of rage and how society has tried to scare us into thinking aging is a horrifically scary event full of serious illness, medication, physical decline and god forbid, a decline in our appearance. It all stems from an existential fear of death, what we can't control, fear of the unknown, etc. Do you think your constant thinking about cancer fits into this pattern? Not necessarily age for you, but the same extistenial fears - and the absolutely inner rage it must create deep down there that we think we can't control our own destiny? The funny thing is, TMS work actually does end up giving us control over our own destiny in many ways. These things might be excellent journaling fodder for you.

 

You can do EMDR without someone having any TMS knowledge at all. It's a form of mind/body work in that there is a physical component to it, and you are constantly guided to give short descriptions of how you are feeling in your body during the sessions. You will also be guided to drop into your body to learn to sense physical emotions if it is hard for you to do this.

There are also 5 psychotherapists in NZ who have taken Alan Gordon's pain reprocessing course. https://www.painreprocessingtherapy.com/clinician-directory/?filter_global%5B%5D=355&filter=1&sort=location_address&num=50 (Mental Health Clinician Directory - Pain Reprocessing Therapy Institute)

 

What is the stop method and I thought emdr was for trauma and not anxiety with ocd ‍♀️. Has it helped a lot for you and in which way? Thank you cactusflower

 

I have had two chest X-rays but I feel scared that this is something worst. I have also had 3 ecg. I keep coughing and my chest is thought in the front especially when I breath and mi mid thoracic back hurts soooo much.
I once read a story of a lady who had these type of symptoms and no one payed much attention after 8 months and many visits to the ED it ended up being something bad . Women are getting more serious dx in the lungs and this terrifies me. My thought is that I need an MRI or ct scan but the doctors treat me like a hypochondriac. It is so sad . I feel like such a lost case . I feel sad, hopeless, and afraid . I am crying sooooo much during the day and so very anxious. I feel like am a burden for my family. I would like to start journaling but I get so depressed. I wish I had a guided method. I did the SEP from alan Gordon 3-4 years ago ‍♀️

 

Hi @Nana
I’m so sorry you’re sad and lonely and scared. We are here for you! So many here have felt just like you do. Feeling like a burden to your family… depressed. All of it. It’s part of the cage TMS puts you in. But can you believe this?—-the cage is YOUR OWN MIND. You are creating the cage. Part of the cage is created by how you think. Part is created by anxiety. You can change both of these. But your first job is to stop believing you have something medically wrong with you. As long as you believe that, you can’t heal from TMS. I have had a cough several times that lasted months and even a year. It really wears you down! It is caused by FEAR. If you can, get Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes on Audible and listen to it over and over. Also Dan Buglio’s free daily videos would help you. He has a quiz you can take to help you know you have TMS. Meditate listening to soothing spa music. Keep telling your brain you are safe. Literally all day long. Ponder this: is there something you are angry about that you can’t say? Coughs can symbolize that. I had really bad things going on when I had my coughs. These are the things that have helped me get better. I know you can get better too! Hugs!

 

Thank you Diana you are an angel!
Do you know of any good tms psychotherapist I can work with through zoom ?

 

I don’t know any. But here’s a list from the wiki https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist (Find a TMS Doctor or Therapist)

 

Thank you