Dizziness, Neck Pain, Anxiety

Hello all. I found Sarnos work a few months ago now and have read Mind-Body Prescription a few times as well as Dr Claire Weekes Pass Through Panic. I am now doing Schubiners 28 day Unlearn Your Pain workbook. Anyways, I wanted to start a new thread to discuss all my nasty symptoms in the hopes that I can someday share my success story as well.

So, looking back, I have been suffering from TMS ever since I can remember. I was the kid who was always in the nurses office and my parents came to pick me up from school a couple times a month because I was “sick”. I have been overweight my entire life and got picked on by kids at school so I think that had a lot to do with it.

I developed clicking and popping and pain in my TMJ over 10 years ago and have just dealt with it. It didn’t really bother me, up until a few years ago and I will get to that later. This is a sore subject as well, but I need to put it out there because I think it’s important. I have always been super Tom-boyish. I have been told a lot that people think I’m a lesbian. Now I have nothing against it whatsoever, but I’m not! The problem is, is that I’ve never been in a serious or intimate relationship. I’m 25 going on 26 years old. I think deep down I’m really lonely even though I have a super loving family.

Anyways (man this is going to be really really long) after I graduated high school in 2011, I set off to college about two hours from home. I was sooo excited. I was planning on majoring in Environmental Sciences. Turns out, my roommate was super shy. I am shy at first, but very outgoing once I get to know you. So I had a lot of trouble getting to know people at school and was under a lot of stress. By the middle of the first semester, I was super home sick and was going home every weekend. I hated it there. I also started to develop some stomach pain that started to get very severe. I was getting depressed, I saw a few doctors and had tons of tests, to check for everything including very invasive tests in my abdominal region. You guessed it, they didn’t find anything! So I told my parents that I wanted to quit school and come home for a semester to try to figure out what was wrong with me. Once I was home, eventually after a few months, all my symptoms went away. So I got a job and eventually went back to college and got an associates degree. This brings me to around 2015. I had gotten an amazing job at a small business in my field after graduating. I worked for a few months and lived at home, but I desperately wanted to move out. I couldn’t stand the thought of renting a house and throwing my money away, so I eventually saved enough money and bought a house later that year. Everything was great, at least in my conscious brain. Looking back now, it was all very overwhelming, and I was still lonely. I put on a happy face everyday, and dealt with everything that came along, but I wanted more! I was barely getting by with students loans and my mortgage, but I did.

In the middle of October of 2015, almost exactly 3 months after moving into my house, I was at work. I ran outside to get the mail and upon coming back to my desk I had a dizziness attack. It wasn’t vertigo, but everything was moving around me. I ended up at the emergency room. To back up about a week earlier I had a very mild head trauma that didn’t cause any symptoms at the time. At the ER I was told I had post concussion syndrome and that the dizziness would go away in a few weeks. So I took the week off and eventually, my symptoms got better. They never totally went away, but they were tollerable. Then in December 2015, I slowly started to develop neck pain. I was seeing a chiropractor throughout this entire time, and he was hopeful that he could help with the dizziness and pain.

Well folks this is where my life turned upside down. My symptoms just got worse and worse over the next three years. I saw over two hundred doctors of all different specialties. I did PT and VRT to no avail. I finally saw a world renowned ENT at The Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN and he diagnosed me with Cervicogenic dizziness and PPPD(Persistent Postural Perceptual Dizziness). What a relief, I finally had a diagnosis!

Well, the only fix for both these issues was PT and VRT. So I tried both of them again with no help!

I finally said to myself , you need to do something major because I was barely surviving. I was going home each night after work and sitting on the couch crying.

I put my house up for sale less that two years after buying it. I’m still so sad about it because my independence is gone. I moved back in with my parents and it has all gone downhill.

I started seeing a specialty NUCCA chiropractor. He was very positive that he could help relieve me of my symptoms. He took XRays of my neck and it was in bad shape. I had loss of my cervical curve, bone spurs, disk degeneration, and severe atlas misalignment he told me I have the neck of a 60 year old.

So I started seeing him a couple times a week and my neck pain finally started getting better. I also started treatment with a very prestigious TMJ disorder specialist and was addressing my jaw issues. My neck pain was much better after about 6 months. But the dizziness is still sticking around.

I haven’t driven in about a year and am working part time most of that from home. My parents are having to drive me around to appointments and work and I F***ING HATE that! I am sooo independent and I love that they are able to help me out, but it is such a drain on my self image. I have developed horrible anxiety and some depression that comes and goes. I have a large family that has get togethers all the time, and I never go anymore because I worry that I will get dizzy and someone will have to take me home.

I don’t really know how to end this, and I will probably just keep adding to it to benefit myself and hopefully also others who need to read others stories.

I having trouble doing the work. I know that I need to do it to get better and I look at Schubiners book multiple times a day sitting next to my bed, but I only have been picking it up two or three times a week. I hope this thread will help push me more! If you made it this far, I thank you very much for reading all this.

 

Hey Annie,

I read your story and I’m sorry to hear your troubles. I joined this forum a year ago but only posted my first post a few days ago. It feels really good to let it out and chat to people who know what you’re going through.

I have anxiety and have had TMJ issues as well. I’m still going through a world of trouble and so not really the poster girl for a success story but I can understand the frustration of not knowing what’s going on, seeing a million Drs and feelings of depression from chronic illnesses.

All I can say is keep fighting the good fight. You’re not alone in this.

 

Hi Anniebobber,

Welcome to the Forum, a place of support.

Yes, I think you're taking the right approach for your symptoms these days, treating them as TMS. This is based on your history and multiple exams.

I am not sure why you hesitate with Dr. Schubiner's book. It asks you to go pretty deep, and some folks they need support as they go through, or skip things which seem too difficult, and come back. The main thing is to keep at it! Try something else which motivates you. There is the Curable ap, which you can start for free, and see if you like it. There is the Structured Education Program at the TMS wiki, linked above, free, with encouragement to post as you go along.

None of this is done perfectly, or in a particular time frame, but daily, regular work is important. I urge steadfastness, and patience.

You've had a tough go of it, and as LouLou says, you sound depressed. I am sorry. Everyone here has been through something like your experience. I could hardly walk for over 3 years and become isolated. Dealing with isolation and symptoms is depressing, and anxiety producing. You are lucky to have a supportive family, at least.

I recently had some new, odd dizziness, and immediately knew to not fear it, and that it was TMS. And it subsided right away. This could have been a very different outcome without my previous experiences. As you learn more, you will become proficient. Have faith!

Andy B

 

Hey Annie,

You're very young and this is great news! Probably doesn't seem like it to you now, but I had my stress disorder (TMS/anxiety/panic/etc.) hit me when I was 40... had an young child, was in a bad marriage, 2 jobs, etc.

As much as you may think this is "ruining your 20s" ... it's not. What's happening is you are getting this education early, so you can be better suited to enjoy the rest of your life and experience normal living. You're far ahead in understanding of where I was at your age, and you just need to kep working on shifting your mindset from one of fear and reaction, to one that says... "this is just me, these are just harmless symptoms and no matter how bad they feel.... I refuse to stop living my life."

How you do that is up for discussion, but TMS information helped me, Claire Weekes, Paul David's blog, AnxietyCentre, etc. There is also a podcast called A Little Peace of Mind you may want to check out about midset shifting.

I know you're following the Dizziness/Balance thread. Lots of good info there and other people working through the same issues you are. (And living life.)

Make a goal today of doing something you haven't done lately. Even one small thing. Drive to the market, or just drive around the block.
Do the same tomorrow. Set daily and/or weekly goals of adding small things back to your life. Even if you don't feel great while doing them, you'll find that having a list of things you've "accomplished" while feeling bad empowers you... and reminds you that the symptoms are not you and that just becuase you felt poorly didn't mean the day was a waste.

Help someone else if you can. Volunteer, or help someone elderly in your family. Even help your parents with work they have. (With nothing in return.)
Getting outside of ourselves is important in these times. Again... it builds confidnece, even if you don't "feel" great when doing it.

Hang in there. Do your best to allow the storms to roll in... and pass. Your body has the internal wisdom to straighten this out for you over time.
We have to get out of its way and give it what it needs.

 

Thank you! ❤️

 

Thanks Andy. I don’t know why I’m having trouble doing the work either. I think I still have some of the frame of mind if I can take a pill and I’ll be better with the snap of my fingers. I have so much that I want to do in life and when I have a day where I don’t feel like death, I want to try to do as much as I can and not sit and do the work. I usually end up doing the most work on days where I feel that worst.

I have tried the Curable app in the past, I think for about 3 months and still have it on my phone, but I just use it for the podcast now. I have trouble with their exercises because I don’t have the traditional pain that they focus on. Mine is dizziness. Which I know I can parallel the pain and dizziness, but they just didn’t seem to resonate with me. That is why I started Schubiners book. Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it. ❤️

 

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it! ❤️

 

Annie,

I went through horrible bouts of imbalance in my 20's and 30's. What I learned is that I felt like I didn't have choice, which wasn't true, but I was raised by a domineering mother. What helped me the most was to "free-think" on paper. Write down, even in colored markers, the things that would be a dream life for me. Even if it feels out of your realm.
Mostly, you have to admit to yourself what you REALLY want, even if it's not what others think is best.

You do have choice. Start small. Decide what you will do for the next two days. Add in stuff that makes you happy. Baby step your way out of this.
You are young. Fear has sent you back home a couple of times. It's your past. You have a big happy future waiting for you.

Marcia

 

Someone (Jan?) wrote “ do a little bit more on a bad day and a little bit less on a good day”. I am an imbalance, face/head pain TMSer and this really resonated with me.

 

Do you found relief with tms work about your imbalance feeling?

 

Yes I have Amina, I have found relief. I still have "quirky" days when my body and mind seem to be on different agendas, but that's OK, I roll with it and perhaps do a little less. For me, the TMS work, was more about understanding my body's reactions and being sympathetic to them and making tiny changes and then allowing this new state of calm to do its work behind the scenes and low and behold the unsteadiness has gradually decreased. My direct work didn't do it, the calm did.
I follow different avenues that feel right for me, not always TMS stuff. cheers, marls

 

I've been to a nucca chiropractor. Yet I haven't decided if it's bullcrap or not. They "adjust" you using such a soft touch, how does it even do anything?

Can you elaborate on doing more in your worse days and doing less on your better days. This seems confusing. Are you saying more healing work or more productive stuff? Ie. I feel bad today so I'm going to make myself accomplish something? Or I feel bad today so I'm going to research rebuilding more?

 

Hi Learningmore, Didn't mean to ignore your question, but I've been on holidays for Christmas. I don't know what a nucca chiropractor is, however, I have gained a lot of information on how our whole body system works by reading Stanley Rosenberg's Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve. There's good info on youtube to check out prior to spending any money and the exercises he teaches are all "soft touch" stuff. The Yawn Response is pretty amazing. I like it and practice it a lot now.

As to your question. I don't mean the healing work because Lord knows I have been guilty of over doing that on so many occasions that my mind just becomes befuddled with overload. I mean a small physical/productive chore. On my worse days, I didn't want to hit the couch with the perfect excuse of "I can't possibly achieve anything today" because I felt that could let me down within myself. I would do the smallest chore just to be able to feel "not useless"and maybe still a little in charge. Anything.
Aaah, but the good days. Out of the blue, I would feel almost OK, full of plans, positive - and so I would leap up and at it. Pottering around, planning, thinking to myself "I've done it, I'm back on track" - only to fall in an exhausted heap by evening, and feel down and dejected. The big lift up simply created my own big fall down.
I realise now, everyday is good. I'm still capable, and rely on my innate intuition to decide how capable on any given day. Just because I felt better, didn't mean I had to prove anything to myself, so on these days I do maybe two of anything, and make sure I feel damn good about achieving whatever it was, ie happy, content, safe in my abilities.

I'm not really explaining this very well, but my bottom line is don't overdo anything, and make sure you think kindly about everything you do. cheers, marls