I really struggle accepting my body with how much weight I could gain and how I could look if I don't exercise. I would like to stop thinking of having to workout to eat more. I would like to just accept my body without restricting. There's just too many stuff that I need to do and my mind is like "if you don't workout you just gain fat. Probably I need fat, but the mind says but everything goes to fat if you don't workout. It's a struggle that I would like to be free and eat how much and w/e I want even if I stop weightlifting or just be a sitting down at home.