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Everything but (and sometimes including) the kitchen sink

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Whoaday, Sep 9, 2023.

  1. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    Hello all,

    LONG time listener, first time caller. I don’t know what I’m looking for in this post but I at least wanted to get it out there. I have had what I wouldn’t know until later was TMS since childhood. I have had daily stomach aches, constant gas, weekly nausea since I was 7 years old. I am 39 by the way. I’ve had every test under the sun (endoscopy, barium swallow with and without constraint, x rays, ct scans, mri, stool samples, stomach lining biopsy, scopes, blood tests) everything returns “normal” and I’m diagnosed with IBS since childhood. I’ve never been professionally medicated just things like beano pepto et cetera.

    The prospect of throwing up has always been scary. Two times in my life when I was 9 and when I was 27 I was hospitilized with a GI bubble which is a giant gas bubble in my stomach they take an ng tube up your nose down your throat and pump activated charcoal to get the gas to release. Awful and can’t eat for weeks. Tons of tests done no explanation. They take X-rays and you can see gas all over my body lower stomach upper and it causes tons of pain.

    I must mention I am unable to burp. I just gurgle. I know that maybe sounds crazy but look it up it’s a thing dysfunction of the belch reflex. So I can only pass gas below. That causes tons and it’s embarrassing and painful and nothing I do every makes it go away. So I suffer with acid reflux near weekly as a result as I can’t burp it up.

    So that has been 32 years of my life. Anxious personality growing up always been worried about my stomach. In 2008, in severe stress with career issues getting engaged and the like, I developed the LAST thing you ever want, chronic pelvic pain syndrome. Sore penis, painful erection hurts to have sex to even get turned on for it pain in the pelvis pain in the perineum pain in the anus and butt bones (piriformis) had all the INVASIVE painful and expensive test followed by a year of external and INTERNAL massage and nothing really changed. Again no medicines.

    it’s never gone away completely though at times it’s better but I’ve been married since 2009…it’s 2023 and I’ve never had sex with my wife (only ever been with her) and every fully enjoyed it without pain).

    So to recap

    what I have

    chronic pelvic pain syndrome
    IBS? Constant stomach pain gas pain bloating et cetera gerd
    back pain intermittently as a result

    what I use

    daily Nexium
    Pepto as needed
    Advil for pain

    I should also mention I wake up nightly against since childhood with a stomach ache that usually gets better as I’m able to pass gas and get through my day I’ve done FODMAP, keto, no caffeine for 100’s of days, no perceivable difference.

    A recent example Friday before Labor Day 3 year old came home vomiting her first time she did it 3 times over 4 hours then was perfectly fine running jumping playing. I was of course worried cause of the aforementioned hospital visits. Well Sunday it got me and I retched and it came out the other side too. I do believe this was a virus but I may have made it worse cause of the worry. But it’s coming out both ends and I’m as empty as a career politician.

    yet the gas continues to build back up. It literally feels like I’m being pumped up like a balloon at times. I didn’t eat for 4 days to make sure it didn’t rebound and I just had gas over and over. Again the gurgling in the chest whatever.

    the major point is no diagnostic test finds anything so I have no real issue with this being TMS. I do daily affirmations I do nightly meditations and somatic tracking . I don’t notice a difference. The medical world is just no spicy stuff stop drinking caffeine what have you. As I said I tried it but it doesn’t fix it so I might as well enjoy my caffeine.

    Most of the conventional advice is like once you get back to living your life these things will fade. In all I mentioned I’ve rarely ever missed work or not done what I wanted I just suffer while doing it. I can’t afford to miss work and I can’t miss out on opportunities so I do it all. I mostly can do then with minimal pain but not 0.

    For those with acid reflux IBS pelvic which I realize are interconnected, what has worked? I’ve read “success” stories but often they don’t sound different from what I’ve done.

    I obviously have fear I obviously am anxious and haven’t seen anything change so it’s hard but just looking for some sort of guidance? And I’ll take the answers off air. Thanks for taking my call.

    -Whoaday
     
    Sita likes this.
  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hello @Whoaday
    Welcome!
    Most of the symptoms you describe can be found in other posts of people visiting this site: pelvic and sexual issues are often posted here from men, as are gastric issues of all kinds.
    Have you educated yourself on how TMS symptoms occur in the brain? This pain education is the first and most important step in understanding how TMS operates physically and how it affects your nervous system. Next question: have you read a book by Dr. Sarno like The Divided Mind which will explain the emotional and personality interplay typically found in people with TMS/chronic symptoms?
    I as this because your post focuses almost fully on the physical symptoms -and the symptoms.. however, you seem to understand there is more to it since you are trying meditation and somatic tracking. Those are great for trying to turn your nervous system “down” but the key aspect to your own treatment is to “think psychological” -Dr. Sarno that means living life but also learning how your emotion esp. inner rage and all emotions (even joy) are pushed down and not fully experienced in your body and how your personality and beliefs about yourself and the world influence this.
    If you haven’t yet, read the Sarno book, read it carefully and take it to heart. There are two free programs here at this Wiki that lead you through various ways to do the internal work suggested by Sarno and his associates which can be found at tmswiki.org and scroll down. I suggest you do the Structured Educational Program. Go slowly, a bit every day. As you do this work begin to recognize the inner self-pressure you create: self talk, striving, perfectionism and when you don’t treat yourself as you might treat others: with kindness and compassion. Notice also the focus, fear and obsession with symptoms - just watch it without any pressure, just internal curiosity.
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    Yes I know all that as I said long time listener I have read over 1000 posts on here I have all sarno work Alan Gordon’s book steve o did the education program twice have journaled have done somatic tracking everyday I check in with myself I know my emotions play into this I’ve always been anxious and stressed I clearly have an over reactive nervous system any sensation sends it crazy I get all that. I get nothing is physically wrong but I also pragmatically have to live and it’s unbearable at times and yet I press on.

    I went to a therapist for over a year unpacking emotions childhood issues tendencies obsessions feelings actions precipitated by feelings et cetera.


    I know what to do I just experience all that even while doing it, if that makes sense. I know not everyone on hee are medically qualified so it will be the same advice but of all 1000 or so posts I’ve read no one spoke of not being able to belch the constant gas just stuck and growing and literally 32 years of daily stomach distress

    I can’t think of or write everything in that initial post so I understand your questions. Thanks for responding, God bless you and yours.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2023
  4. Kozas

    Kozas Well known member

    You are not the only one, one of my main symptoms is pain caused by bloatness. I also, well... fart a lot. But those farts are like consistent 99% of pure air, and don't even stink. It makes me feel better for a second or two, and then they comes again.
    Dunno what to say, I only know that I've been diagnosed with different things like dyspepsia or SIBO. Nothing really 'dangerous' and visible like cancer or ulcers or Crohn or anything like that(I have this and other symptoms since 2011 so I've had all the available tests). Probiotics and stuff like that never did anything, changing diets etc. So I'm convinced it's TMS but I don't really know what to do, to recover.
     
  5. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    Well thanks for all the responses I guess it’s same old info no real answers
     
  6. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hm. Well @Whoaday, my immediate take on your post was the same as @Cactusflower - it's like 90% focused on the physical, in spite of the fact that you are apparently so experienced with TMS knowledge, and in spite of the fact that you are posting on a forum which is devoted to recovering from the psychological and emotional condition which we call TMS in honor of Dr. Sarno, who discovered the psychological and emotional connections to chronic pain and other conditions.

    I'm sorry to say that as long as you insist on thinking physically instead of psychologically, your TMS brain mechanism will make sure you stay exactly where you are. Stuck.

    @Kozas, I know you've been struggling for a while, and that you've heard this before, but I still think it's your issue. Also, I forget, is OCD in the mix for you? OCD-type behaviors and TMS go hand-in-hand, and they make it extremely difficult to recover. Check out Dr. Hanscom on the subject of what he calls RUTs: Repetitive Unpleasant Thoughts - he's been writing about this a lot lately. AKA Rumination (look that up to see what all of the psych sites say about it), aka obsessive thoughts, whether officially OCD or not. Here is Dr. Hanscom's intro page on the topic: RUTs - Back in Control
     
  7. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    Maybe your stomach is not in the right place, it happens sometimes. An experienced chiropractor can make a few adjustments and put your stomach back in the right position. You might want to try this, see how you feel.

    Good luck!
     
  8. Kozas

    Kozas Well known member

    Thanks, I know about dr Hanscom for a long time, but lately I've been interested more in his and dr Schubiner work. I quess we all have to find our own way, for example Nicole Sachs is great, but her teachings and her way of journaling is something completely not for me as I discovered after struggling with it for a long time. Dr Hanscom work on the other hand I find useful even for people without any crippling chronic issues.
    P.S I hope that experienced users don't think I'm a downer or that I'm spreading hopelesness. I still think I can archieve better life. It's just that I still just... can't do it. But this forum is great, so full of hope and great stories. Recently I've reread few first pages of Dorado success story. It's just so wonderful that person with so many issues(some of them, real physical) could archieve not only physical but mental and emocional wellbeing.
     
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  9. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    You're alright, Kozas, and I get it. I'm glad that Dr. Hanscom speaks to you, as I also get that Nicole is not for everyone, and thank goodness we have so many wonderful practitioners out there doing the work in different ways. That being said, I'm going to refer to Nicole in this instance, because she always reminds us that negative and difficult and even devastating experiences are unavoidable in this life. Although I think that Dr. Hanscom often says essentially the same thing. The key to moving on, in spite of what life throws at us, is acceptance instead of judgement.

    So don't be down on yourself, okay? Judgement leads to pressure, and pressure leads to symptoms. Remove the judgement, replace it with acceptance, and visualize a path in which healing is achievable, one small step at a time.

    Easier said than done, I know. But the fact is that it can be done.
     
    Kozas likes this.
  10. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had this in the past! TMS can wreak havoc on your stomach, and the brain often refuses to believe it because there is so much IBS, GERD, etc. literature focused on the physical instead of the mental.

    How are you now in 2024?
     
  11. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    No real change. Things ebb and flow but never goes away.
     
  12. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    How are you dealing with stress?
     
  13. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    Poorly apparently
     
  14. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I’m sorry to hear that. :( The good news is that improvements are possible.

    Do you have any friends, family, or therapy resources to lean on? What helps you relax, even for just a brief moment? What are you afraid of?
     
  15. hikko

    hikko New Member

    I had bloating and gas after eating, the following as helped me in addition to TMS practice:
    - stopped dairy products, I found out I'm lactose intolerant
    - eating 2-3x slower, making sure to chew my food well every bite
    - don't talk while eating, don't breathe with your mouth while eating
    - took a 20 minute walk every evening after dinner, no food after 7PM
    - cut most processed foods, drinks, and eat more fruits and vegetables, esp fermented foods that is good for gut bacteria

    And remember to be gentle on yourself, body, and symptoms
     
  16. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    The last time I shared my story, I got ripped by Jan and others for “focusing on the physical” I’ve been married over 15 years and never once had sex without pain. I have myriad other symptoms but don’t care about those as much.

    EVERY story I’ve ever read on here, the person brings up the physical while trying to heal through the emotional.

    Statements such as “As long as you are focused on the physical, you won’t get better…” are wholly unhelpful. First off, DUH!

    The issue is not, and never has been belief in the TMS. The issue is, after 15000 plus dollars of mind body therapy, books, programs, 450 hours of TMS doctor guided meditation and thought exercises, 45, 400-500 page journals filled with all my thoughts, emotions, frustrations, and doing 30-45 minutes of meditation and guided relaxations daily since 2011, I’m actually in worse pain as now I have the ballanitis (spelling?) tip of penis pain stuff that started after vigorous elliptical with tip rubbing in boxers, back in April.

    I’ve mitigated All pain in the past using TMS practices but never once got rid of any of it.

    I practice outcome independence, but the more I ignore the worse it is.

    I’ve had every test under the sun, all negative.

    I know what it is, I experience deep sadness, and rage one or twice a week since the pelvis/penis issues first started in 2008. Had stomach issues that required hospitalization since I was
    7 years old, called IBS but never find anything, and I deal with digestive distress every day since 1991.

    I probably pass gas upwards of 500 times a day, on average and that’s a day my stomach feels ok.

    it’s on the Lord that I somehow am married as I am a methane.

    It never gets better. It ramps up, then when it calms down it never calms to where it was before, so “normal” is always worse than normal was before the ramp up.

    so basically I’ve had chronic pain since 1991 when I was 7 and I just turned 40, been married 15 years and have a 4 year old.

    most all people have a story similar to this and are met with compassion. This was not the case with me, which is why I had no Intention of returning to this post.

    Most days I feel like I’m Tampa Florida, and Hurricane Milton is bearing down on me, and I’m told just ignore it, just concentrate on the emotions not the pain, be outcome independent. But everyday for 33 years. Twelve Thousand and Fifty-Three Days.

    The difference is, I don’t get wiped out by the hurricane I just suffer through it.

    But thank you for reaching out. I appreciate it.
     
  17. Whoaday

    Whoaday New Member

    those are physical things, it’s supposed to be emotional. You just reinforce that something is wrong with you when you look for physical causes and solutions.

    At least, that’s what I’m told.
     
  18. hikko

    hikko New Member

    You don't have to see them as physical things, just general healthy life habits, that way there is no conflict with TMS therapy

    The attitude and energy is important here. Why not apply outcome independence? Instead of "I'm doing X to cure my stomach" think "I'm doing X because it's good for my health and wellbeing overall, regardless of whether my stomach is cured"

    I had similar worries when starting my TMS healing journey, at the end of the day it's just another fear trap that our brain tricks us into

     

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