Extremely discouraged

I'm so tired of this shit. Excuse the language, but I am. I'm tired. I'm tired of being 35 years old and feeling 85. If I feel this poorly at 35, what the hell does 45 hold for me? I've become a shell of the person I used to be; I feel like the worst wife and mother. I'm not living life anymore, I'm simply existing. Maybe this is just a (REALLY) bad day, or I just need to vent, but I'm struggling and need some support. For those of you who have healed or those who are close to healing, please tell me how you manage to continue on fighting during your roughest of days. Guidance, advice, or a swift kick in the pants would all be greatly appreciated!

Sorry to be a Debby Downer...it's totally unlike me.

Emily

 

Life can be tough, but in the grand scheme its all about perception. I know what your going through so hang on. Hope is the greatest influence in life. Venting is OK, but try to look at where your at in life and why your reacting the way you are. When the time will come you will heal, just let go and relax. Have some fun with life and do something different that you enjoy. Good luck, we are what we believe.

Ryan

 

I thought of sth that might help you put things in perspective. I was 35 when I had my first really really bad TMS crisis. It was excruciating low back pain. I did not know it was TMS so it took me over 6 months to be functional again. I had 2 relapses. The last one happened this last month. And I went from pain level 8 to pain level 2 in 5 days. I ll be 40 soon. So as you learn how to deal with it, it does get easier. I know relapses could occur but we learn no bounce back quicker. Keep reading about TMS. It does help a lot. I am reading now Hope and Help for your Nerves. It has interesting points you can correlate with TMS.

 

Thank you Ryan and futuredancer. I truly appreciate y'all talking me down off the ledge. I'm working through the SEP and Schubiner's book, and I think I hit on a few things today that stirred up some significant emotions. I'll keep pushing on and doing the hard work. It's just so hard to be in such pain and raise a family...

 

The fact that you even know of tms and have found it indicates you are on the right path. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
You will heal. For me it was about coming to terms with my past , part of which I had pushed away and forgotten. Now I live 99% pain free.
Not a day goes by where I don't think of things , they happened and I can't change that. The difference is now I am aware open and allowing about it.
Somedays my heart cries but it beats being in physical pain any time.

 

I have felt those feelings you described. It is not fun! It's only very recently that I'm beginning to understand that my deep level emotions are causing the pain and heartache. I wish you well and hope you are feeling better now.