Eye Issue, I need support!

Hello,

I’ve only ever posted here a few times before. I really hope someone can give me support or words of encouragement or any insight to give me some Hope. I posted something similar in the “ask a therapist” section as well. With the knowledge of TMS so many of my mysterious ailments from childhood to now make sense and I have been able to heal many of my adult pains and ailments with this knowledge. However for the last year I have been struggling with something called blepharitis/ eye pain and Eye burning/ faster than normal eyelash shed (they do grow back over time and the burning really flares when stressed or crying , which just confirms there is NOTHING REALLY WRONG WITH ME!)
But last year when it started I immediately saw an eye doctor and he said a bunch of really horrible things that scared me. Saw a few others, more of the same, even derms and holistic drs. Had all the fancy eye treatments for dry eye and blepharitis and of course none of that has worked. Unfortunately I also struggle with OCD and PTSD. This combined with not being able to control what is happening with my eyes has sent me into severe depression for about a year. (Not keeping area clean/ constant build up of crust/not being able to wear makeup / burning sensations) I’ve worked with a TMS therapist, went on a TMS retreat and even talked to someone at the Pain Psychology Center in LA who told me my issue could be physical and told me the director of the center recommended special tea tree wipes (which i bought immediately and now think is adding to my issue). This past week I saw the same TMS dr I initially went to a year ago. He was kind and told me not to go to anymore eye drs and to stop all of my daily eye cleaning rituals / wipes. For the last 6 days I’ve given up my eye care / cleaning rituals / and mirror checking compulsions. Last night before bed I saw my eyes filled with yellow gunk on lash line. Layers of dandruff built up on lash line. The worse part is my eyelashes have been falling out faster than normal. And last night many came out and I was traumatized. I don’t know how to approach this anymore. I’ve been so confused by mixed messages. With pain elsewhere I’ve been able to actually ignore it and let it be and it dissipates. But with my eyes and skin where it’s right in front of me it’s very hard to ignore, esp with the eyelash loss , and being told to not clean them when I can seen yellow debris building up, it feels so scary esp because of what happened last night. I hope someone has some wisdom. I’m really desperate.
Thank you immensely to anyone who shares any feedback.
-A

 

I'm puzzled by the recommendation given to you by the TMS doctor to give up all eye care/maintenance. When my chronic pain was at it's peak, I also developed extremely dry eyes during the daytime. I could barely get my contacts out in the evenings because they were stuck to my eyeballs. I consulted my eye physician and he administered a tear test which came back normal. I eventually realized that my dry eyes were being caused by the extreme anxiety and helplessness I was feeling over my declining health. Once the pain and anxiety left, so did the dry eyes.

Fast forward a few years and I have nighttime dry eyes. However, I don't treat this as TMS. I'm a vivid dreamer that has rapid eye movement at night. On the nights that I have vivid dreams, I wake up with incredibly dry and painful eyes. So, I use a gel lubricant at night along with an eyelash cleaner. In the morning, I use re-wetting drops. I don't look at this any different than the maintenance I use for my skin or teeth. I wear sunscreen and use dental floss, so why wouldn't I take care of my eyes? It's important to note that I don't obsess or even think about my eyes during the day. I view this as a normal part of my nighttime routine of self care. Perhaps you could look at your eye care through a different lens? No pun intended. Look at it as a loving self-care ritual, like brushing your teeth or using moisturizer.