Fatigue

This is my 2nd time on here,previously 3years ago.I am struggling at the moment with unsteadiness while walking.I had a fall about 4 months ago due to balance issues and use a walking stick or walker for longer distances.I do have spondylolisthesis that is mild but has given me weakness in my legs.
This year I have gone thru my 4th lot of cancer having had a mastectomy at the beginning of the year and travelling twice a week to the hospital for drainage of the clotted blood..During the fall I caused somehow for a large hematoma to develop which I had ‘washed out’in the theatre.A few days later I developed a ‘super bug’ and had to have more surgery .This infection is flesh eating and has a mortality rate of 50%.After trialling antibiotics sometimes 9 a day I was put on one which can cause heart problems but is working.Every one has commented on my bravery but little do they know I have chronic airways disease and damaged lymph glands from all the radiation I have had.
My main concern is dealing with this fatigue I have .I try to go out somewhere each morning and then rest for the afternoon.

 

@Lojos
You also mentioned your age in the last post. It was around 80 that my Mom began to have some fatigue and need her little pm snooze and she was perfectly healthy-ish then.
We’ve had some great age rage posts in the recent past, so don’t discount how super pissed off your little inner gremlin might be about the load you are facing on top of aging, not being exactly the same “person” your inner image retains (and probably consciously realizing that you are, it’s only the package that changes).
You also mention the division of people commenting about your strength while you mention physical weaknesses now.. do you also feel emotionally “weaker” - I imagine the fatigue isn’t only physical, it must be mental.
Do you have anyone who will listen to you (of course we will, a given) so you can express these things safely and without judgement or comment? To help you allow those feelings and to hear, really hear you? It might be a real help at this moment of your life.
As Claire Weekes would advise, just accept the fatigue. Let it be a time to just be. A reminder from the universe that you are not expected to do anything in life to be needed and wanted and loved in this world. That you have a place, no matter what.
Hugs to you,

 

Thank you for your wise words.I do tend to self flagellate.It really is trying to find what fatigue is normal for my age.

 

My neighbor, 78 years old, has been fighting metastatic bone cancer for 25 years. She had chemo in January 2023 that left her in a wheelchair, given 2 months to live. A very optimistic person, she decided to start moving. She now walks without a cane around the neighborhood, goes grocery shopping, no longer needs help with house chores.
Needless to say, she checked out of hospice care a while ago. The more she moves, the more her energy returns. I wish you great luck in your fight!

 

ThanksTG957
Yes i believe keeping moving is beneficial for our health.

 

No I haven’t read Sarno but have read ‘The Way Out’ and followed Nichole Sachs and Dan Buglio.Jan ,I don’t think I have repressed rage.​

 

Maybe I do have anger.I am annoyed at having caught this infection from the hospital and not received an apology.Also not being able to improve my fitness and muscle strength in my legs from spondylolisthesis having done rehab twice.
My main concern and frustration is my lack of balance ,having suffered bouts of BPPV.

 

One of my the most subtle understandings that most of us have to learn from the Sarno work is about "Perceived Anger' vs. "Repressed Anger".
Many times a new person will say what @Lojos said here. I have met many people with Chronic pain or Mindbody symptoms who say the same.

"I am a nice person...I don't get angry...I don't hold resentments...I am a Christian and forgive everybody immediately"

I believe them. I am not like that, but I do believe them. Dr Sarno taught us and got more and more detailed about it as his personal studies went on that the 'Perceived' realm is usually NOT where the symptom imperative was generated, but in the unconscious.....to which we have NO access. None. Zero. It is a safe locked away in fortress, behind armed guards!
If and when we try to go looking down there, the guards warn us away "Nothing to see here...just a bunch of psycho Mumbo Jumbo....move on citizen!"

Usually with intellectual disdain, panic type symptoms or most often Pain.

We are often told to make anger lists. I encourage everybody to do this as well....Why? If it's not the real culprit, what's the point?
Well, it lets us see on paper how many resentments. miffed, kerfuffles we are in and not aware of moment to moment.
It is like seeing the tip of an iceberg...If we can see THAT much, there is probably 10x as much...20x as much.

Also..it sends a message to our unconscious that we know what it is doing! And Sarno called it 'blowing the cover on a covert operation'...if we let IT know we know what it is up to and that the ruse is not working, it ceases.

That is the 'mechanics' of the deal.

peace

 

“Self-flagellate”
That is pretty much 100% sign of repressed anger. You learned self-punishment somewhere.
Your inner little gremlin is a Me! Me! Me! Little thing -it wants what it wants, thinks you are always right and should always be right.
So why self-punishment?
There is always something to explore with TMS!

 

Thank you all for your responses. I also had to rehome my dog after I was unable to care for him -that was 9 months ago and it is heart breaking.
This is where I am in a quandary -Nicole Sachs lists journaling,Alan Gordon doesn’t neither does Dan Buglio.

 

Basically, it is up to you to choose your method. Sach’s, Gordon and Buglio don’t really use all of Sarno’s methods based on their own personal experiences. The one difference is that Sach’s worked directly with Sarno and he thought her methods were simply another way to get at the repressed rage. Gordon and Buglio are more fear based (Sarno covers that too!).
Choose one method and work with it and see how you progress over time.

 

I didn’t realise that I had actually posted on here 5years ago ,that is the time I saw a neurosurgeon who wanted to operate on my back with a laminectomy and fusion.It is the constant fear of being off balance and falling ,as I have done several times that is my main concern

 

Jan ,
Let me explain more clearly my situation I had been ,I think,positive about my situation regarding the cancer until 2weeks ago .Then for some reason I started thinking negatively and fell into the victim mentality.I was very ill in hospital with the infection .And the whole saga involved me driving to the hospital for treatment 33times.The fall 4months ago was the beginning of the downward spiral of the cancer 2operations in a week for the haematoma caused by my fall.Family were away the month when I was in and out of hospital so I coped by myself.The wound has not healed yet -3months the surgeon said, and I have had nurses daily come in and dress it.Now it’s twice a week.I have kept myself busy by going out for a coffee most mornings and friends have offered their help but I prefer to cope myself.
Maybe this sounds like a pity party but it only started 2weeks ago.

 

Sorry for what You are going through. My sympathyit does not sound like a pity party to me. All the best

 

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