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Feeling so much better but...

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by veronica73, May 14, 2012.

  1. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I'm feeling so much better these days and though I want to avoid the whole "calendaring" thing, I think I only had one headache in the last 4 weeks (I used to have them most days and a good portion were debilitating or at least really slowed me down). I'm spending more time "thinking psychologically" and working on really feeling my feelings instead of stuffing a lot down.

    Well since I've been changing I've found that there are a few people in my life that I just don't want to be around anymore, including one friend who I was incredibly close to before. I just can no longer tolerate being around her extreme negativity even though it's not directed at me. And of course the goodist in me feels rotten about this and about backing away from the friendship.

    Anyone else find that relationships with other people changed as you started healing from TMS? I'd love some insights.

    ~ Veronica
     
    veronica73, May 14, 2012
    #1
    Beach-Girl likes this.
  2. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Congrats on doing better:) This is wonderful to hear.

    Our relationships can without question change due to this treatment. The main reason is that TMS treatment seeks to provide us with more introspection and with introspection we begin to see where the positve and negative parts of our life are located. I'm not too sure if it's incorporated in the program, but there is the Relationship Evaluation Form that seeks to help people identify how our personal relationships affect our health. How we act upon this new insight is totally up to us. We can decrease the amount of time we spend with some people if we want, but I don't thing we necessarily have to (and in some cases, such as work, we may not be able to) in order to recover.
     
    Forest, May 14, 2012
    #2
  3. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Oh, I think I did see this form when I first joined the wiki but I never filled it out. I'll have to take another look.

    This person is a friend but we don't work together or live together, so it's not like I have to see her every day. I've just been noticing that I've been gradually backing away and feeling less connected to her. And I also feel kind of guilty about this which is obviously my own "stuff."
     
    veronica73, May 14, 2012
    #3
  4. Lori

    Lori Well known member

    Hey Veronica. I understand the friend thing. I've had a similar experience and I have to wonder if she didn't pick up on my feelings. Now we occasionally email to say hi and what's going on, but that's about as far as it goes now. And that's ok with me.

    I was catching up on email today and a newsletter or two specificially said there comes a time where we may need to make changes in relationships, including ending some that are no longer responsive to us. And it's ok!

    Hugs!!
     
    Lori, May 14, 2012
    #4
  5. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Thanks, Lori :)
     
    veronica73, May 15, 2012
    #5
  6. Beach-Girl

    Beach-Girl Well known member

    I lost a lot of friends when I quit drinking. It was because I had changed and wasn't one of them anymore. Same thing applies here. You are "growing away from your friend" rather than deciding you don't want to hang with her anymore.

    BG
     
    Beach-Girl, May 15, 2012
    #6
  7. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Glad you are doing so well, Veronica. I think it's important to surround ourselves with people who are positive, who enhance our healing.
     
    yb44, May 15, 2012
    #7

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