For Those Who Cry...

After a few days of the Structured Education Program, these thoughts came to me and I posted them on Facebook. The response was so great that I thought I'd copy it in this forum for anyone else who might find it of use:

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Last year Nobel prizewinner Sir Tim Hunt was criticised for making comments about women being a distraction in science laboratories.
He said: 'Let me tell you about my trouble with girls.
Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them, they cry.'

Just wow.

I'll just focus on the last bit, because as an easy crier, it's on my mind.

Why are people so afraid of tears? They release stress and emotion, which allows the person to relax and engage with your criticism more rationally. If they have to repress the emotion because of the social taboo against tears, the emotion just becomes stronger and sabotages all their efforts to deal rationally with the criticism.

If you saw tears as a valuable coping mechanism instead of an unfair bid for sympathy, wouldn't it make it easier to have these difficult conversations?

Instead, people write off the crier with 'they just can't take criticism.' Maybe it is you who 'just can't take tears'.

 

Hi Sudonym,
Ahh, the blessed relief of crying. I am with you on this...
Andy B

 

I'm with you. I'm an easy crier and as I get older I actually cry less because now I know how to stand up for myself so I get into those stressful situations less. But, if my body wants to cry there is no stopping it whatsoever! Crying is great and it's such a great tip off to know your body can't take any more of something.