Forgiveness Musings

Yet another gentle book has captured my attention. It must be emphasized that coincidences are really aspects of synchronicity. Timing is everything, and signs are all around us, waiting for us to notice.

From the book: Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All (Gerald G. Jampolisky, M.D.)

If we are to free ourselves of the burden and discomfort of our grievances, we need to look just as carefully at the thoughts we put in our minds as we do at the drugs we put in our bodies. The side-effects from holding unforgiving thoughts in our minds can have a very negative impact on our well-being. Take a look at the following list. Here are just a few of the physical problems that may be associated with an unforgiving mind:

Headaches
Back aches
Pains in the neck
Stomachache and ulcer-like symptoms
Depression
Lack of energy
Anxiety
Irritability
Tenseness and 'being on edge'
Insomnia and restlessness
Free-floating fear (fear not attached to any particular event)
Unhappiness

Few of us would ever take drugs that we know can hurt us. Yet we are not nearly as selective about the thoughts we put in our minds. What is the antidote? What is the most powerful medicine we have for healing the thoughts that cause this long list of symptoms?

Forgiveness.

It is a power, amazing and miraculous healer, with the capacity of making all these symptoms disappear.

(copyright 1999)
-----

Truth well spoken.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

Thanks for the post Lily. I haven't read that book, I will get it, but Love Is Letting Go of Fear, by Jerry Jampolsky is one of my all time favorites.

 

Hi, Lily Rose. The Japolsky book on forgiveness sounds like one I will order and read.
I've found a great deal of relief from practicing forgiveness, especially forgiving myself for
what I consider failings or short-comings in the past.

Jesus says we must forgive others, then He will forgive us.

 

Funny that you posted this when you did Lily Rose. On the very same day I was reading a book called The Power of Self-Forgiveness by Thom Rutledge. I came across a passage which was similar to the one you quoted from your book. Not only that, on Sunday I was looking through the Times newspaper and came across an interview with Desmond Tutu on the topic of…you guessed it, forgiveness. A few pages later I read another article about how schools are introducing mindfulness meditation for students in the classroom. So okay, not about forgiveness but still relevant to what we discuss on the forum. When we open our eyes and look, we begin to see.

 

yb44,
Do you recommend this book? Has it been helpful?

 

I love it when that sort of synchronicity happens, yb44!

 

I got it to read on my Kindle last year due to the good reviews and the fact it cost me all of £.77. I haven't finished the book yet - on Chapter 9 at the moment and I am doing a read through before going back and completing some of the many exercises he provides. It's almost like an SEP for self-forgiveness. The author discusses how each of us have an "inner committee" of personalities which sounds vaguely similar to IFS theory. The committee, the author states, is being controlled by "The Should Monster". So, yes for the dollar equivalent of £.77 I think it's worth a punt.

 

Forgiving ourselves is such a big one, a hold-out in healing.
I have/had a big one to forgive myself about being my mother's caretaker
and keep thinking I am past that, but not 100 percent sure.

I think we can obsess about things like that and they stay in our guilt box.

Forgive and forget, they say. I've forgiven. Now I want to forget.

 

Thanks for the book info yb44!

 

How does one forgive? I've had meditations with myself and explored several aspects and have talked to my inner child and have forgiven myself. I've mentally viewed others I have had issues with and have forgiven - imagining the issue/issues/person(s), putting all of those in an imaginary bubble resting in my hands, and them blowing the bubble away and letting the issues float away. Once they float far away you cannot retrieve them back. You let them go and are at peace.

I'm interested in any other suggestions that you all might do to work on forgiving.

 

From what I am learning ... forgiveness is also realizing how we are disappointed in ourselves. Even though we may have been children, there runs through the mind - if only I had ... if only I hadn't ...

We take on the blame for things. When we forgive that, we can start on the rest.

Another aspect is to fully realize that everyone has their own perspective. They may genuinely be oblivious to the damage they inflicted. They may also be remorseful, but have no way of coming out of their defensive corner.

Unconditional love ... this means loving without conditions. Just .. loving. One of the greatest definitions of Nameste I have ever read states it thus:

I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides.
I honor the place in you,
Where lies your love, your light,
Your truth and your beauty.

I honor the place in you, where ...
If you are in that place in you ...
And I am in that place in me ...
Then there is only one of us.

Beneath all the layers, beneath the ugliness of bitter actions, beneath the ignorance and clinging addictions .. there is someone who desires the same exact thing we all desire: Love.

How do you practice forgiveness? You say to the person, whether in your head, or to their face -- I love you.

That is the practice.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

Lily Rose, thanks for posting the poem. It gets right to it about forgiveness. It's the giving and receiving of love.

 

Lily Rose - you truly have a way with words! I "like" on my of your posts so I can pull them up and read over again as they offer kindness, care, and comfort.

 

Tigerlilly,

Thank you for posing this question. I love the process you outline above and will try it out soon.

My process for forgiveness has been more of a cognitive one, where I think about the person, event, or situation differently--bringing in compassion, understanding, trying to release judgment. My favorite format for this is the one developed by Byron Katie, which is a journaling exercise that she calls "the work" or sometimes "inquiry". She developed a format for this called "the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet". It can be done with any stressful thought, but I've found it particularly useful for addressing my past or current grievances with others. (I realize that I should do this process on issues I have with my past self.) Here is the link to Katie's website with links to the worksheet and videos of her explaining the process and guiding others through it. I love her book Loving What Is, which has many examples of her using this process to help others, as well as her personal story of spiritual transformation which is quite inspiring. There is a lot of content on her website as well as youtube videos if people are interested.

http://thework.com/thework-jyn.php

 

You honor me, TigerLilly ... thank you

Ellen .. the phrase Loving What Is carries great power. The resonance of Truth is very .... deep.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

Ellen - thank you for the information. I will check this information out shortly.

In regards to putting all of your past issues and grievances in a bubble and blowing them away, you're going to laugh when I tell you this, but I actually saw that on the show Dharma & Greg (remember that one?). I saw the bubble episode years ago and it just resonated with me as being a really good idea! Here's the show on YouTube if you want to get the visual of the bubble (it's themed throughout the episode - you can watch Dharma and Greg doing it together at the 5:10 mark): http://www.iepisodes.net/dharma-and...0-talkin-about-my-regeneration_400047078.html

 

Tigerlilly,
I do remember that show. Truth can be found anywhere if you look. Thanks I'll check it out.