Having the strength to keep going

I'm on day four of the structured educational program, and I'm having a hard time finding the will to keep going in my TMS journey. I consciously fully believe that the pain is caused by TMS, but the pain hasn't seemed to abate at all. I read a lot of success stories about people who developed pain after dealing with lots of stress. However, I can't identify any real stressors in my life besides the physical sensations caused by TMS. I have no children, more than enough money to cover my expenses, and my work environment is very laid back. Some people say that they can "see themselves on every page" of Dr. Sarno's book, but I can't even identify the emotions that I'm repressing. I guess I don't know how to address the anger directed at my physical ailments without believing that something is wrong with me. My knees hurt, my muscles spasm, and my limbs have a constant tremor. I know TMS is a psychological problem, but it's hard to shake the paranoia that my brain is falling apart. I am still waiting on The Great Pain Deception to come in the mail, and I'm hopeful that it may contain some helpful tools for keeping up hope.

 

Hi huskarl,

I know some people have a lot of trouble finding out what's stressing them... I certainly think a lot of my stress was derived from the pain itself, i.e. I think I did hurt my back initially, and then worrying about that made the pain get worse and worse, when in fact my back was "back to normal". Have you been given any specific structural diagnoses by anyone, as they could also be stressors?

Wishing you well in your recovery.

 

For the underlying causes of your TMS check out the Rahe-Holmes list:

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~eap/library/lifechangestresstest.pdf

Remember, even good events can create tension on your homeostasis, maybe your unconscious feels you don't deserve to be happy?

 

Huskarl, I'm on Day 11 and my pain has actually gotten worse. This is apparently not unusual.

I think The Great Pain Deception may help you. I'm finding that even more than the stressors in my life (and my childhood repressed stressors) are my mental tendencies to get into a really awful dwelling on the pain, in which it begins to spiral out of control while I get more and more anxious. A lot of us are quite tense and have this kind of conditioned pattern. I'm working with it, with some success, through meditation, but it's tough!!

You might think about putting the SEP aside until you feel less discouraged and just reading Steve's book for a while? At any rate... you're not alone~

 

Huskarl, I too think you will get help from reading Steve's book. He makes a strong point of how he ignored his pain and kept golfing and doing otheer activities and it helped him to get rid of years of pain. If you dwell on the pain, it won't go away. It's not easy to ignore pain, but the more you an do that, the better you will be and the faster you will heal.

Maybe it isn't your repressed emotions causing the pain. Lots of us have perfectionist personalities or are "goodists," wanting to do everything perfect, fast, efficient, and want everyone to like us and admire us.