Help, lumbago

S

Shakermaker

Peer Supporter
Hi everyone,

This is just a call for support in case anyone can offer it. Just had a very intense lumbago attack this morning after simply bending forward in the shower. Movement is extremely difficult now. Whether in a sitting or lying position, getting up from that position is extremely painful to the extent that I actually cry out in pain when I do certain movements. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve been aware of TMS for some time. I’ve applied TMS principles to get over back pain and other issues in the past. But this one is so painful I don’t know what to do. I guess I should go to a doctor but I’m afraid they might try and operate or something like that.

I’ve just dusted off the mindbody prescription now and reading again for the umpteenth time.
 
Hi @Shakermaker
Know that you are going to be ok.
You are in pain and frightened, your nervous system is now cranked up.. and it will take a bit of time to feel some better… but you know exactly what this is. Have confidence in this knowledge.
Your body has told you that your mind has been doing a lot of behind the scenes work, and it’s time to take care of you.
So take care.
You could try meditating, listening to an audio book (free with most libraries now..with their free apps), watch a movie from any position that you can manage, read a good book.
Medicate if it works for you.
Whatever it takes to get over this hump.
Recognize your feelings and emotions. Don’t dwell, just recognize what this brings up, the unseen anger which episodes like this can generate, the untrue thought patterns that can emerge. Our self-talk.
Notice that you have a choice in how you view a relapse or set back.
It can be a current singular hurdle, or it can be a sign that these repeated episodes may mean this is the opportunity to begin to go deeper with this work and get a bit more insight into the relationship between their frequency and your inner habits.
Try to take this time to view things with a lightness, a confidence that this is temporary, and avoid intensity, catastrophising, using physical labels (because it is aways mental/emotional/psychological with TMS and not a physical ailment although it sure feels like it).
Know that this group are here for you, and can help you through this tough time and support you if you’d like to experiment with your TMS approach.
 
Shakermaker said:
lumbago
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We are here to support you...but I am a little confused.
Shakermaker said:
I’ve been aware of TMS for some time. I’ve applied TMS principles to get over back pain
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'Lumbago' is just an archaic name for back pain. I had to look it up when I read JRR Tolkein's "Tree and Leaf". How are you distinguishing this? It's all a 'regional process' so any number of symptoms can happen.
Shakermaker said:
I guess I should go to a doctor but I’m afraid they might try and operate or something like that.
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Yep...that's all they know. I don't know how you learned about TMS, but you might want to go review whatever you learned.
I had a nigh exact same experience just Thursday morning and it is all but Gone BUT I have been through this. If I didn't know about TMS I would have been terrified because every motion set it into spasming again...but I reviewed the book, got out a pen and got moving and it went away..like it always does. I wish sometimes I didn't know about TMS cause If I didn't I would have been at somebody's office,,,, but I do, so I know the only solution is inside.

peace
 
@Cactusflower @Baseball65 thanks for your replies and well wishes.

Baseball, what I meant by lumbago was the type of sudden onset back pain like a lightning bolt in the back. I might not have used the right term.

Thanks for the advice @Cactusflower I will definitely do a lot of those things.

Back in 2014 something very similar to this happened. I was in pain for months, couldn’t sit for longer than half an hour etc and it severely impacted my life. Then I discovered Sarno, read the mindbody prescription over a weekend and my pain was 80% gone immediately. The remaining 20% took a few more weeks but went too.

In the intervening years I’ve had some other TMS equivalents (acid reflux, IBS, rosacea, shoulder pain, knee pain) and managed to get over them. I’ve been struggling to deal with fatigue over the last 3-4 years too.

I’m just surprised the back has flared up as I thought I had comprehensively dealt with that one back in 2014/15. I thought it would just be equivalents for me from here on in. Feels a bit demoralizing that the back is involved again.

I’ve already read pretty much every TMS book available and even had a TMS therapist for a while which was not overly helpful (maybe I just chose the wrong therapist, I don’t know).

Anyway, I’ll read Sarno again, then Alan G’s book then I’ll find some kind of course to work through. There are so many out there now it’s hard to know which one to choose.

Im not feeling as anxious now as earlier. I’ve thought about all the emotions that could’ve triggered this and it’s similar to 2014, which is I think basically frustration at certain things going on in my life. Back then it was career related this time relationship related.

But anyway I’m waffling (sorry for that). For now I’m just gonna have to stoically accept the pain while I try to do the work. I can barely stand upright at the moment but oh well lol

Again, thanks for your advice and support
 
Shakermaker said:
I can barely stand upright at the moment
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I'm sure you'll see this when you review, but just a friendly quick reminder...as insane as it sounds the quicker you get moving the less it will hurt. The Pain is a defense to keep you focused on your body. If you intentionally go do the Opposite of what it is trying to tell you, that is a strategy of saying to the TMS "I am not buying your BS and I don't believe you"...and actually saying that AS you feel symptoms isn't a bad idea either.
When my neck spasmed and I couldn't move I immediately did pushups...and then I worked out with a barbell, and then I went and hit whiffle balls off a tee...It felt horrible, but It is virtually gone 3 days later.
I watched a TMS video that day and the woman basically said "This is like a battle against yourself"..and as strange as it sounds, I totally agreed...except unlike most battles, both sides win.
 
Baseball65 said:
I'm sure you'll see this when you review, but just a friendly quick reminder...as insane as it sounds the quicker you get moving the less it will hurt. The Pain is a defense to keep you focused on your body. If you intentionally go do the Opposite of what it is trying to tell you, that is a strategy of saying to the TMS "I am not buying your BS and I don't believe you"...and actually saying that AS you feel symptoms isn't a bad idea either.
When my neck spasmed and I couldn't move I immediately did pushups...and then I worked out with a barbell, and then I went and hit whiffle balls off a tee...It felt horrible, but It is virtually gone 3 days later.
I watched a TMS video that day and the woman basically said "This is like a battle against yourself"..and as strange as it sounds, I totally agreed...except unlike most battles, both sides win.
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Problem is for me it’s difficult enough for me just walking from my bathroom to my kitchen. I don’t know how I could even get to the gym let alone train there right now
 
Actually @Baseball65 I’m just reading in the mind body prescription about the Finnish study where subjects who were told to immediately get back to normal activities following a back issue were likelier to get better than those who were prescribed rest and back mobilisation. So maybe tomorrow I should try to be more active. I will definitely get myself signed off work sick as that definitely contributes to my TMS issues but I will try to be a bit more physically active. I might try more baby steps than your approach though :)
 
Just move however you can, and if you’ve read Steve Ozanich’s story you may remember how he had years of difficulty moving and sitting, and what he did to overcome the pain (which is way more than I do!).
For someone like yourself, you might try one of @Baseball65 ’s tactics of writing down a list of every single thing that might or is angering you and review it daily. Accept your anger, own it and see if anything else comes up. Seems to work for Baseball65 and I am trying something similar myself.
 
Shakermaker said:
I’m just surprised the back has flared up as I thought I had comprehensively dealt with that one back in 2014/15.
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LOL, the TMS brain mechanism is not logical! There is certainly recovery, but there's no such thing as a cure for TMS. And recovery does not follow rules.

Whatever is going on with you right now, this is your brain on TMS. It will use whatever it thinks will get your attention in order to distract you from your "dangerous" emotions.

Lots of people have been returning with symptoms in these trying times. I'll also emphasize @Baseball65's statement that he gets out the pen when he needs to apply his TMS skills. If you've never applied any therapeutic writing skills (aka journaling), it's time to start. The SEP is the place to find those.
 
Thanks @JanAtheCPA and @Cactusflower my back has improved slightly. I'm trying out the methods mentioned in the mind body prescription. I've been talking to my brain, telling myself the cause is psychological not physical etc. I've also started with listing all the internal and external things that could be enraging me. I do have a lot of goodist and perfectionist traits. And I'll take a look at the SEP. Thanks for the info. It's a shame I mentioned above that I had a TMS therapist but no such work was done with them, it was just talking and that's it.

I've taken the week off work sick and the goal was to relax and do things and enjoy. But this time has made me realise I don't even know what I really enjoy, and in addition to that at the same time as my back going I seem to have picked up some kind of virus. I have been going out for walks the last couple of days and my back has handled that well, but it's actually fear of the viral symptoms that are making me keep my walks short at the moment
 
Maybe one other thing I would mention is that last night was the first night since my back went that I tried to lay down on my sofa in my favourite position at night to watch TV before going to bed. I had previously been nervous about it in case it made my back worse. And indeed since waking up today my back has felt stiffer than yesterday, but I will try not to let it deter me
 
You might find you list of enraging things gets long!
Check out this farm rage post for a rather hilarious list of subconscious possibilities of rage https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/farmer-rage.27814/ (FARMER RAGE)

I have to say, I tried this enragement list last year and was told by a psychologist and tms coach to stop doing it. Hmmm, symptoms got worse and anxiety got wild after stopping! My attitude was “what might make someone enraged”. (Since it’s subconcious and I don’t truly know what it is).. (the 2nd psychologist I worked with who was not a pain specialist was all about the list! She had an open mind, curious to see what happened)

getting out of bed
Cold floor/bare feet
Dirty floor/crap stuck to bare feet
Expecting symptoms/getting symptoms
Cold coffee


That’s like the first 10 minutes of the day!
 
Cactusflower said:
I tried this enragement list last year and was told by a psychologist and tms coach to stop doing it.
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What the hell?

I get it that different things work for different people, but to reject a valid technique outright? It makes me wonder if that coach was being triggered by your work. After all, most if not all TMS coaches are also former TMS suffers and they are just as prone to the continuing power of the TMS mechanism as anyone. And we know there are a lot of people out there whose TMS brains are very resistant to the expressive writing technique. IMHO, it's one of the most powerful techniques we have, and it is widely accepted as effective in the wider psychological community. It's one of the ten tools that Ethan Kross recommends in his terrific book, Chatter (he's giving away the Ten-point Toolkit on his website if you take his quick quiz and sign up for his newsletter, which I have done).

The writing techniques I learned in the SEP, particularly the lists and the unsent letter in addition to the general idea that I call writing shit down, absolutely work for me. They were integral to my "big" recovery in 2011, and they work to this day when recurring symptoms try to bring me down - and these days, those symptoms can include RA flares.

Last week I woke up one day with extreme RA symptoms in one hand, which freaked me out because it had been well over a year (maybe two?) since this last happened. I couldn't come close to making a fist without shocks of pain running from my palm through my fingers. I was also legitimately panicked that I wouldn't be able to remove my two rings because my fingers were so swollen around them (icy-cold water and dish soap worked). It took some firm self-talk, followed by some in-the-shower contemplation, to figure out the emotional trigger - which was self-pressure and judgement over something that had no actual importance whatsoever. Amazing. Laughable, but also amazing. I didn't even need to get out the pen and paper. My hand was almost normal by bedtime (although I decided to keep the rings off that night!) and it was back to normal the next day. Oh, and I did also allow myself a couple of applications of diclofenac to take the edge off and give the self-healing power of my brain something to focus on.

I will always advocate for the power of writing shit down. You just never know what your unconscious brain is worrying about below the surface, which your primitive TMS is interpreting as dangerous. It doesn't even have to be significant. In fact for many of us, it isn't.
 
Hi @Cactusflower @Baseball65 @JanAtheCPA I just wanted to thank you for your supportive message last week. They helped so much.

My back is much much better now. Not yet pain free but I think that is only because I simultaneously came down with a viral infection and have not been able to get out and about moving as much as I wanted to.

Basically I think what caused the back to flare up was a feeling of lots of things getting on top of me, internal and external pressures. Lots of external pressures stopping me from doing the things I really wanted to do, and yet pressuring myself internally to fit in also the things I wanted to do even though it was all too much. That’s a very short summary anyway.

I fully expect to get pain free as soon as this pesky virus has run its course. I’m especially looking forward to getting back to the gym.

Only problem is now with the pain improving rapidly I’m less motivated to do the written work. But I should. Usually with knowledge alone I’m able to get free of TMS issues, but they do keep recurring. I do have problems with fatigue also and that is the one TMS issue that has maintained its power over me consistently. I think I will start another thread about that and I should really do the work.

But thanks again for your help, I was in a bit of a panic last week and you really helped me get a hold on it
 
So essentially with less pain, you revert back to old patterns.
That might be part of why you, and most people who struggle with recycling TMS symptoms (myself here too!) continue to have flair ups. We want to ignore symptoms but for some reason that comes with the price of ignoring ourselves until we are once again reminded to pay attention.
 
Cactusflower said:
So essentially with less pain, you revert back to old patterns.
That might be part of why you, and most people who struggle with recycling TMS symptoms (myself here too!) continue to have flair ups. We want to ignore symptoms but for some reason that comes with the price of ignoring ourselves until we are once again reminded to pay attention.
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Sounds accurate. Nicole Sachs mentioned something similar in her book
 
Shakermaker said:
Nicole Sachs mentioned something similar in her book
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I recommend Nicole's weekly podcast for a regular uplift and a set of reminders from her! She has different formats, sometimes working directly with someone on the show, sometimes responding to questions she's received, sometimes she's just free-forming based on recent experiences, and sometimes she repeats an older show because it was so good and has some kind of current relevance. So it's never the same, and I always get something out of each one. Sometimes it's like a personal therapy session with Nicole - what's not to love?
 
JanAtheCPA said:
I recommend Nicole's weekly podcast for a regular uplift and a set of reminders from her! She has different formats, sometimes working directly with someone on the show, sometimes responding to questions she's received, sometimes she's just free-forming based on recent experiences, and sometimes she repeats an older show because it was so good and has some kind of current relevance. So it's never the same, and I always get something out of each one. Sometimes it's like a personal therapy session with Nicole - what's not to love?
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Thanks for the insight. Yes I plan to listen to that.

I saw that she has done a few on fatigue related things too and interviewed people who have gotten over it. This will sound strange and stupid but I am scared to listen to them, because I guess those people will talk about how bad their symptoms were and I'm worried that will give my subconscious new ideas
 
Shakermaker said:
will talk about how bad their symptoms were and I'm worried that will give my subconscious new ideas
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If I am listening to something and the 'Physical' is brought up, I make a mental note , OUT LOUD to myself "I will NOT come down with that", Or....just turn it off. I have not found a lot of value in listening to symptomology....many times something I got tricked into was something someone discussed very shortly before I came down with it. The Nocebo is real.

Right before my Major back symptoms that ended up bringing me to my knees, I was carrying a big ladder and a full hudson sprayer across our job and some older guys went "Hey youngster...better watch it or you'll F up your back"...I Laughed at them....and had my very first shot of sciatica about 30 seconds later (LOL)

Even after everything I have learned, one thing I know is that we don't get to pick how sensitive our unconscious is or isn't...mine IS, so I can't afford too many symptom lists in my TMS budget

I am glad to hear you're doing better... I was certain you were having TMS but it doesn't matter what I think...only what you think!!

...and everybody has that tendency to slough off...don't make a big deal about it, just move in that direction. TMS will always let us know if we're moving too slow

peace
 
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