"Hope that the anxiety will come, that way you can practice and practice".

I’m going through a flare this week with some of the original symptoms that first led me to discover the work of John E. Sarno over two years ago. I felt inspired to share something vulnerable and honest after seeing a few recent threads from longtime members here talking about flares. I hope this might be encouraging, especially for newer folks in the community.

We can’t always know exactly what triggers a flare, but after sitting with it for a couple of days, here are a few things I noticed that may have played a role:

The news. I realized I’ve been checking it way too often -- right when I wake up and again before bed. Negative news tends to make me feel angry, scared, and out of control. I’m working on breaking that habit and limiting myself to once a day.

Changing misc. habits. I’ve been pushing myself to break a few small patterns I’ve avoided addressing -- being a bit more vulnerable about minor things, improving my sleep hygiene, and getting back into reading.

Health changes. I recently started focusing more on eating well and getting more structured/serious about strength training, which has been bringing me a lot of joy. Of course, the specific body part I'm focused on is exactly where my symptom decided to flare -- which is funny how that works.

Travel anxiety. Last month I noticed some lingering fear about traveling because of something that happened on a trip late last year. It wasn’t serious, but it scared me at the time. I reassured myself logically, moved forward, and ended up having a great time!

One thing this flare reminded me of is not to dismiss the “small” stressors, like breaking old patterns and habits, as our brain doesn't know any better. Our conscious mind may think they’re no big deal, but sometimes those are exactly the things worth looking at. They’re easy to brush off, but they can still stir up rage underneath the surface.

I’ve been doing this work for over two years now, and flares still happen, however they are quick passing. But each time is another opportunity to reflect and to remind myself that the symptoms are not dangerous, and go back to living life. When I read that Dr. Weekes' said "hope that the anxiety will come, that way you can practice and practice", I will speak plainly when I thought thought she was crazy, but I truly understand this now. It gets easier and less scary.

So what now? I'm taking it slow, reflecting, getting back in tune with my feelings, and simply riding it out. I created a ritual for the moments when I’m feeling pretty crappy. One of the things I had to learn the last couple of years was how to soothe myself, because for a long time that concept felt really foreign to me. It's one of those things that feels like a warm hug when I need it the most.

Cheers! Hope you all are having a good week!