Alex B. How do I overcome fear of the fear of pain?

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Question

I had TMS hand pain.. I read about Sarno and his books and I am pain free. But right now I m currently changing my company. I have resigned and I am in notice period now. I handled this TMS when I was in this current company. I dont see a future in the current company, and the current work is also not good and I want a change. But since I am afraid of this change, daily I am thinking lots of things negatively.. like what if other tms symptoms come when I go to the new company..

Also lot of financial problems are there in life. I have thoughts like after moving to the new company what if I am not able to handle and with already existing financial problems this will also be more...

Also for the past few days my TMS symptoms started to come up. Now I am more afraid that if I move to the new company will I be able to handle this and my work..

 

Answer

Hi Raj, thanks for the question.

This does indeed sound like a stressful time with a lot of changes going on. This is so frequently when pain that has previously been dealt with with remerge. But there is very good news here and I'm confident that you can face this challenge.

First and foremost is your previous experience in dealing with pain. This is your golden ticket. You know that by utilizing the TMS approach described by Sarno and others that you have had success! This means that your symptoms are clearly not structural. Remind yourself of this over and over, especially when you notice yourself become afraid of the pain: it has no power to damage you, you've dealt with it before and you can do so again.

The second piece of good news is that your symptoms arising at this time make sense from a TMS perspective, further confirming that you can help yourself through this approach. You mind is habitually looking for ways to keep you anxious and the circumstances that you are facing are giving it a golden opportunity. It's creating a connection between your job and your previous improvement, tying them together when in fact the real cause for the improvement was the reading and adoption of the TMS perspective. But because there is change, financial concern, etc. your mind is heading to this anxious place and giving you more and more fuel for the fire. I assure, your job was not the reason you were able to emerge from pain. you've done it before and you can certainly do so again.

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I heard some wise teacher once said that fear & worry is a habit, an addiction, a conditioning, a learned respond. New born through evolution have only 3 fears: loud noise, falling feeling, and abandonment. Every other fears we acquired through experience, learning, information gathering.... and if repeat enough it will ingrained in our mind and fear will become automatic when the situation arise.
To over come fear (which will help eliminate tms/anxiety) experts made a few suggestions:

Exposure therapy. If we keep expose ourselves to what we fear, eventually the fear will lessen and lessen and disappear. "Do the thing you fear the most and the dead of fear is certain". - Mark Twain. We keep going up high building and tall bridge if we fear high, we keep going close to the snake cage if we fear snake, we keep practice talking in front of group if we fear public speaking, we keep dipping our body in the pool if we fear water,... keep doing and doing what we fear and we will overcome our fear.

Fear arise often due to addiction to negative thinking. "two men looking out the prison bars, one saw the mud the other saw the stars". Automatic negative thinking is a habit we need to break. We need to analyze the difficult situation and ask ourselves how other successful people overcome it? Look for solutions, write it down on paper often help, be realistic and stay calm. Other people can do it, I can do it. I am a hard worker, I'm qualify to do the job, I can do it.

Acceptance. What is the worst that could happen to me? I can always get another job, I can always survive. I am much better off than million and million of other people in this world, I have brain, the skill, the will, the training.... to do the this job. Give yourself a positive pep talk everyday until it sink in. Do just like sport competitors do before a competition, stay focus and believe in yourself.

One important thing to remember is: it is perfectly OK to feel the way you feel. Changes in your life always bring anxiety. Anxiety will always come when we leave our comfort zone, our familiar environment. Don't fight it, don't get angry, just focus on the task at hand and things will work out the way we want.

good luck Raj.

 

Hi, balto. Your posts and replies are always wonderful. A real tonic.

RajS, Balton's advice is what I also give you.
Mark Twain sure had it right about "fear exposure." Sometimes can see impossible, but going ahead and facing what we fear is the best way to overcome the fear. Leaving a job and going to another is stressful, but just think positive... that the move is for the better... that you are going to be better-off financially.

 

Thanks Alex, Balto and Walt...

I am ready to face this challenge..

 

Also I am confident that I will do good..