How to address anger

I realized that the anger I've felt toward a close family member for most of my life (very deep and not always noticeable to me) is probably a huge cause of my TMS, most recently GI issues. I get so triggered by some of the things she says and does and feel such rage sometimes, which of course I try to suppress. I also feel guilty that I feel this way toward her -- like I should just grow up and move on. Of course this anger makes my symptoms worse. How do I address these emotions? Journal about my feelings toward her just when I feel them? Daily? Write her a letter I don't send? Sit in meditation and just feel the anger?

 

Hi, Shosh. I felt anger toward my parents for divorcing when I was seven. The anger persisted, subconsciously and repressed long into my adult years, leaving me with feelings of abandonment and insecurity, even when they got back together a year later. When back pain led me to learn about Dr. Sarno and TMS, I journaled and discovered that anger. Then I did some serious thinking about it all. That led me to put myself in their shoes and I realized they must have had their own pains from TMS. Understanding them better helped me to forgive them. I think this same process would help you to forgive the family member and your pain will go away. You could do this and write her a letter but don't send it. Feel the anger, but then forgive her and let it go.

 

Thanks Walt. I have tried to forgive her and let it go for many years but it keeps hanging on. I feel like maybe I just have to accept the anger and not feel so bad about not being able to let it go?

 

I agree to accept the anger, then lighten up on yourself and let it go.

 

Hi Shosh,
Alan has some wise words to say about this too http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-17-overcoming-emotional-repression.16630/ (New Program - Day 17: Overcoming Emotional Repression)

 

Thank you both!