How to resolve emotions caused by a severe childhood trauma?

Hello everyone,

I had a severe trauma from the period of almost 10 years of constant beatings, humiliation, bullying and what not because of my sexual orientation since the country i was born in is very hostile for everyone who is not straight.

I escaped from that country thankfully but not without consequences… First it started with IBS, then severe GERD, back and shoulder pain, tinnitus, sound sensitivity, ETD and bunch of other symptoms that comes with that etc.

Overall at my worst i had more than 30 different symptoms and i was severely depressed but thankfully i found work of dr.Sarno and i realized that i can eliminate those symptoms because i literally find myself in every sentence from dr. Sarno’s book.

8 months later with TMS work and i can say that most of my symptoms are gone.
I am left with only very mild discomfort like 1 out of 10 once a month which last a few hours in my stomach but i wouldn’t call it IBS anymore cause i eat everything.

Shoulder and back pain and GERD are 100% gone and most of my ear issues are gone except ETD.

I am very confident that i will eliminate the rest symptoms that i have with time but i don’t know how to overcome the fear and crippling anxiety that i have.

The fear and anxiety are with me at least 10 years and i don’t know how ti deal with them.

I know that i developed these “first symptoms “ of TMS from the severe trauma that i experienced in my teens but i don’t know how to resolve this.

I know about the example from the Sarno’s book in which a person who had a severe trauma “experienced” these emotions through anger and rage and she eliminated her symptoms over night but i don’t know how to get to that point.

i tried so many times to “experience” the anger i hold toward everyone who bullied me but i just can’t get it out, i feel so much anger that i am aware of toward those people but i don’t know how to feel the anger i am not aware of….

 

You are getting deep there!
A lot of us wish we knew that too. I even asked an open minded Doctor. He suggested EMDR, but It's really expensive. If I knew it worked in like 4 or 5 treatments, I'd pay it....but at 300 bucks per session, I am not available to go indefinitely.

I had a fairly similar childhood, but I still get occasional TMS type issues. The one Positive thing I can tell you is that this work still aborts the symptoms and I have been doing it for 25 years+. It does get old sometimes and I wish it would go away forever....but I was so desperate when I got here, that I still count the 99.5% of the time I am not suffering as a gift.

 

I remember reading that Sarno later regretted putting that example in his book because it is a very rare occurrence, and not necessary for most people to get their life back. As @Baseball65 states above, most of us who recover aren't 100% free of symptoms, but close enough for TMS to not be an issue anymore. What you have achieved despite very difficult circumstances is close to miraculous. Congratulate yourself and live your life. You're doing really well.

 

Have you ever tried meditation? If you are consistent with it, you can really soothe yourself and ease anxiety.

 

I recommend psychotherapy. Find someone good who can do EMDR technique with you. Yes, I know it's not cheap but you only need a few sessions. I've done it. You don't need endless sessions, no. In 5 or 6 you are done. Maybe even less.

 

Have you read Barry Mcdonagh's DARE? It's a training that consists of recognising the anxious thought, addressing it once and letting it be. The idea is that by not trying to shut it off, it won't impose resistance. It's very similar to TMS treatment and modern ways of trauma healing.

It's very common that we resolve the past issues, but they're not the ones causing the symptoms anymore. Maybe there's something happening now causing the danger feeling, or even making your uncounscious bring back some hurt from the past as a current danger.

This is where somatic tracking might be used for emotions. It requires practice, but you try and notice the part of your chest to face area where the anger shows up. With time you'll notice those sensations even before you get angry. Also I recommend looking up the anger section on this emotion wheel. Might help you:
https://feelingswheel.com/feelings-wheel-new.jpg

 

Thanks a lot for mentioning this. I am hearing first time about this and it looks promising. Thank you

 

Thanks a lot for advices, i will look into that