How to teach our kids about TMS

Hi all

I have two boys-7 and 3..
I observe that the older one has TMS symptoms-especially about going to school.
How do we teach / talk / help our kids with TMS?
Thank you

 

Hi, thanks for asking this question Emre, I’ve been wondering about this too. My children are 10 and 7, and since starting to learn about TMS recently, I feel like I can recognise TMS type symptoms in both of them too. It also makes a lot of sense to me to help them express their feelings now so that they don’t have trouble with TMS in the future. I’m really looking forward to finding out what people think on this.

Here’s a few of my humble thoughts to be going on with. Anxiety has been a big issue for both my children, causing some clear physical symptoms – eg. stomach pain before going to school. I’ve recently read a book I’d recommend called ‘Parenting your anxious child with mindfulness and acceptance’ by McCurry. The book talks a lot about helping children develop their emotional intelligence. For example, it explains how to ‘reflect’ back (or validate) to your child how you think they’re feeling, showing them that you ‘get’ how they’re feeling, and helping to expand their ‘feelings’ vocabulary. You might say ‘you seem worried/cross/angry/frustrated at the moment. Also describing your own feelings out loud, eg. I feel so frustrated about … I’m finding it hard to explain and do the book justice, but I do think it relates really well to some of the ideas I’ve read on this site, about mindfulness, living in the moment etc. Interestingly, this book also helped me with my own feelings of guilt about not being the perfect parent.

I’ve also tried getting my 10 year old to write in her ‘feelings book’ whenever she feels angry or upset. She would then give the book to me, and I would write a little reply, congratulating her on expressing her feelings, confirming its ok to have those feelings, and reminding her I love her. She used this a few times until the novelty wore off and we both forgot about it. Think I will try and get her back into it, and maybe my 7 year old too - although he is currently more likely to demonstrate his anger by ripping the feelings book up!

 

Sunday I watched a PBS TV special by Wayne Dyer, PhD, called "I Can See Clearly Now," about physical and psychological problems and pain
that I thought was a lot like TMS. His daughter wrote a children's book about how she recovered from her pains. It's called GOODBYE, BUMPS.
She had wart-like bumps on her face as a teenager and healed it herself by telling her unconscious mind that she was healed. It worked for her.

The book may be a good way to introduce children to knowing about TMS. I haven't read it, but will look it up on Google, although Dyer said it is not available at amazon.com. It may only be available from him. I'll find out about this.

I'm also going to work on an article to post on the wiki on the Dyer TV special.

 

I just did some research and the book, GOODBYE, BUMPS! is available as a book at amazon.com books for $9.56 and Kindle for $9.99.
It looks good for help in teaching kids about TMS although it doesn't use the name TMS.
It has a subtitle of "Talking to what's bugging you," and reviews say it tells children how they can change their attitude toward something
and not allow it to have a power over them. So it could help in educating children about TMS.

The authors are Dr. Wayne Dyer and his daughter Saje Dyer, and it was just published in February.

 

Hi Emre,

I hope you are well sir.

A very good question and I definitely think people should integrate it into children's schooling, sooner than later. If it prevents them from developing a chronic symptom later in life. Its better to give that child the knowledge therapy, penicillin now and instil it when they are very sharp and pick concepts and beliefs up very quickly. Believe me, as people get older they become stuck in there ways and do not wish to accept a concept and feel as if they know better. I believe teaching TMS at a young age is a fantastic idea.

I agree with butterfly, its never to late to buy your children a diary and encourage them to journal, its not only therapeutic but will help them maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle, coupled with Walt's suggestion of the book Goodbye, Bumps could make the knowledge more accessible to the younger generation.

On another thread, Caroline Rumar is developing a cartoon, I know it would be a great to align this post with hers and perhaps look at how we could approach conveying the TMS knowledge message in a simplistic, non laboratory type manner to children i.e without scientific wording or jargon so they can easily identify. grasp and interpret the information.

Caroline seems very friendly and approachable and I know she welcomes suggestions, we are very lucky have her on board at the TMSwiki.