I think I am eating what is eating me

Ok...I have found that since I have started with this that my desire to eat is huge. I have been struggling with overeating for a couple years now, and I do believe that eating has been another form of created pain. I think that the urge to eat has increased as I am not attending to my burning mouth like I was and am much more accepting of many things. I am wondering about obesity and TMS are related. So much is written on the back pain etc., but what about overeating as a way to distract us from our rage? I am starting to journal when I go for good, which is all the time and will see how that goes. Anyone have any experience or insight into this? Certainly worth exploring for this health epidemic or country faces. I feel like I won't go as far as I could with my burning mouth until I get rid of the 20 lbs weighing me down.

 

Interesting you bring this up. I have come to believe that weight is another form of TMS equivalent/mindbody syndrome--whatever you want to call it. How many people are emotional eaters? Many. I am one as well, though I've become much more aware of it now and really examine what I'm feeling instead of reaching for a potato chip, chocolate, etc. And I definitely look for food more at work than at home. hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

We were on a cruise earlier this year that had a lot of Europeans, which meant a lot of smokers. I realized the Americans were, well, not thin like the Europeans. But the Europeans chose a cigarette, and Americans choose food. The smoking and eating are reactions to emotions/situations, etc.

I remember my mom telling me years ago "it's not what you're eating--it's what's eating you." She was onto emotional eating when I came into the kitchen just blindly looking for "something" after I had a disagreement with someone. Jessica Ortner (EFT teacher) teaches that emotional eating can be helped. She has very interesting things to say like excess weight can be due to 1) events, 2) beliefs, and 3) emotions. She occasionally has an online talk to listen to that covers these points and others and it makes sense. She has also lost (I prefer "released") weight herself so she can surely talk to the subject.

So yes, I do believe much of carrying excess weigh has to do with our emotions. People will say "well my thyroid, hormones, [fill in the blank],is causing my weight gain", which is again a distraction from looking at the pain we are "stuffing" down with food. Makes perfect sense really! I also wonder why someones hormones are unbalanced (what emotional root?).

Definitely food for thought. <---- Oh, that's pretty cute! hehehehe

 

Idea RE: burning mouth--is there something you are "burning" to say to someone? I knew I needed to speak up to someone recently and ended up having sores on each corner of my mouth. I spoke up quickly when I was onto this. And within hours they were gone after I spoke up!

 

I definitely think overeating is connected to TMS. At least it is for me. I have noticed for many years the connection between my anxiety and eating. And now that I know how directly connected the anxiety is to TMS, it makes sense. Anxiety is like pain, a distraction from the emotional issues. And so eating is another avenue not to feel. I am beginning to realize that lack of self worth is at the heart of what I wish to avoid. Being overweight gives me the perfect excuse for being dissatisfied with myself without having to go much deeper. Since this episode of chronic pain started about 8-9 months ago I have been very isolated from my friends. Last night I decided to make myself go out to see some close friends play music in a very relaxed, casual club. My teenage kids got in a huge fight along the way and there was a lot of drama. I used to be incredibly social, throwing parties and felt very secure with my friends. But I have made a big career change and for some reason felt very nervous and self conscious. I found reentering the world in my healing transition a real strain but also a positive and necessary step. When I got home I started emotionally eating. Something I had been having better luck with recently as I've been working on the anxiety and TMS. This morning I listened to the 21 day meditation challenge, and Deepak Chopra was talking once again about self love and embracing yourself, no matter what your waistline, it doesn't matter. I immediately started thinking it would be impossible to love myself like this, with this disgusting fat belly. Really, why? Why is it impossible? I love Budha's big belly, why not mine? I didn't love myself before I got fat! Weight is just an easy way to distract myself from my internal self loathing. I am sure as I begin to truly learn to accept myself, the fat is going to melt away. Along with this pain! It is TMS.

 

Good Morning Lori and Anne! Don't know where you guys are in your day. I am in education so I am on summer break...actually I don't have a contract for next year so I am on a perpetual break I guess. I suspect you are both at work. Hope your days were great.

Lori I read your story this morning. All the resources that you read were awesome and I do plan on reading some of them.

Seems the common thread we all have in this world is the pain we experience...causes so much needless suffering if we could just learn to be more accepting.

Anne your insight into the lack of self worth is very important. Also when you say you didn't love yourself before you got fat...also struck home with me. Very true in my case. The notion of loving myself is very strange. How does one go about that I wonder? Will need to explore this more I guess. No one ever taught me this, as my mother was an alcoholic and my father was not around.

Lori, I think you are so right about my burning mouth. I think I have had plenty to say that I have stuffed inside all my life. When you are a people pleaser you never say what is on your mind as you don't want to inconvenience or disappoint anyone.

You guys are great. Look forward to more insight.

 

Leslie, my father was an alcoholic and my mother manic depressive. I had a very unstable childhood and from a young age I learned to imagine the worst and be prepare for it. In terms of self love, I believe the first step is noticing. Noticing what we internally say to ourselves and questioning it. It is so easy for me to see and to admit that I am hard on myself. The challenge is in changing how I speak to myself(my chronic thoughts). I effortlessly seek out and absorb criticism. I ignore and discount the loving gestures and positive feedback. And yet my friends would probably describe me as an open, loving, smart, generous, and happy person. None of the external success and love has ever been enough to convince me. So I am actively practicing sending myself loving, positive and embracing affirmations along with developing my awareness of when I beat myself up and then applying some objectivity and reason by forcing myself to argue with the negative messages. It is an exercise. I think it is a process that may take me some time, but I am beginning to get it. I really enjoy your posts(and Lori's). Very inspiring.