I think I may have TMS

It started about a year ago. I graduated from a rigorous college program, and about a week after graduation I developed pain in both my wrists and forearms. I initially attributed it to a repetitive strain injury, as it first came on while I was using the computer intensely (playing a game). I wore arm braces suggested by the doctor, but they did little to resolve the pain. I tried to forget about the pain and do different workouts in the gym, and the pain gradually subsided. About six months after the onset of the arm pain, I developed debilitating pain in my chest near my sternum and surrounding rib cartilage. I would wake up fine, but it would get excruciatingly bad by the end of the day, to the point where the only thing I looked forward to was getting to go to sleep. That persisted for a month or so before regressing again. I still get occasional pain in my wrists and chest, but not as badly as when the pain first appeared, and the pain is not typically chronic as it used to be. About a month or so after the chest pain improved, I developed great pain in my knees. I thought the pain was caused from injury, as I had been rigorously twisting for a long time when the pain came on. I went to the doctor and he couldn't detect any ligament damage. My knees still trouble me quite a bit. When I wake up, they feel very tight like they're inflamed, but I don't notice any swelling. Sometimes I get jolts of pain (pins and needles type) around my kneecap when I'm walking or sitting. The pain seems to be much worse when wearing pants that rub against my kneecap for some reason. It's strange because I'm not limited at all in my range of motion, and I seem to be able to run and jump without any additional difficulty. I can't stand for long periods, as my knees feel weak and unstable after standing long, especially at night. After rest, physical therapy, massage, yoga, and pilates, my knees seem to feel about the same as when the pain first came on.

Recently, I discovered Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and read it swiftly. What struck me the most was his notes of people developing TMS on vacation or on the weekend. My pain troubles arose immediately after graduation from a strenuous college program in which I had to work and study constantly. I didn't get a lot of sleep during my time in college. Looking back, it was highly stressful, but I managed to handle it well at the time. When I graduated, I got a typical 8 to 5 job which was much less stressful by comparison.

I am the type to bury my anger. I try to be nice to everyone, and it bothers me when people don't like me. I apologize a lot just to diffuse situations. I guess my top priority is appeasing people and avoiding making enemies. I never had any sort of therapy or psychoanalysis. Maybe I have repressed feelings of anger or anxiety, but they would be buried so deep that I'm not aware of them.

I've developed depression because of the pain, the lack of hope that things will improve, and the feeling that my body is betraying me so early in life. Joint popping has been getting steadily worse for me. All of my joints seem to pop loudly when I move them. I can't flex my ankles without them popping. One ankle pops whenever I walk, and has for quite a while. I have tremors that cause my hands to shake. I have noticeable tension in many parts of my body, and I've been using a foam roller to try to work out muscle knots. I get mild muscle spasms frequently. My hamstrings are tight all of the time and interfere with a normal gait.

Has anyone here experienced similar symptoms? Do you think these are typical of TMS? Any help is greatly appreciated. My quality of life has dropped drastically, and it's hard to find joy in anything. It feels like I'm living in a nightmare.

Thank you for reading.

 

You have typical TMS, I can't ethically diagnose it, but if you've been medically cleared for anything serious, then you own the beast. You certainly have Phase 4 TMS, as I described it; After the Storm. It's the most common phase of TMS.

I laughed (not out loud, kinda under my grimace) when your doctor gave you arm braces. Dr. Sarno told me to go easy on the doctors because they don't know, but as Forest Gump said, "stupid is as stupid does." (Forest is no relation to our Forest, the keeper of the TreeMS.)

I'm mildly amazed by how many people are reporting of repetitive stress "injuries" while playing games. I would guess you're between 20 and 35 yos?) We have become so brainwashed by the industry in believing that we are indeed that frail. We can lift bricks, and pave roads, and pour cement, but somehow doctors have convinced us that we can't play computer games. God help us if we fall for it. Ultimately, we own our experience.

Your pattern of worsening as evening draws is commonplace. But realize that it's only a pattern, and can be changed. My pattern was of worse pain in the morning, and of getting better at night as the day's demands fell sleepy.

You also have the SI racing through you, but who doesn't? TMS is fairly easy to get rid of, but the SI shift is much more problematic.

One of my favorite topics is the T-persona. I liked when you said that you apologized a lot to diffuse situations. From Jung's work we know why; it's to protect others from your rage. You can't control your anger, so you fear it. Goodistitus of the low self esteem. Archaic anger is hot, and the source is always separation rage. What we can't control, we simply deny, because to admit it is to admit being a servant to it.

You didn't develop depression because of your pain. That's a common spurious correlation. The pain does add some to depression for sure, but your pain is there because of your depression. Your cart is pulling your horse. Your depression came after you realized your goal (graduation and a life of the same job over and over...8 to 5 ,what's next?...etc). Phase 4.

All of those popping sounds mean nothing (unless you put a bag of popcorn in your microwave, then that means it's done). You're tense, too tense, thus your TMS.

The nightmare you're living, that you yourself have described, you yourself created. When you see why, you will heal. This takes some deep introspection, and gathering, but it's done every day.

Count your blessings that you found out about TMS. Your life will change now. Someone above wanted you to see this Truth.

I'm curious to see what you do with it when you heal?

Steve

 

Huskarl, buy Steve Ozanich's book "The Great Pain Deception". Sarno and Steve gave me my life back.

 

Oh......I've been congratulating myself because I was able to get rid of 50 years of migraines and 20 years of fibromyalgia. But I've been playing Whack-A-Mole with TMS equivalents ever since. I know there is still much work to be done, but I was hoping that I'd done the hard part and getting rid of these other symptoms would be easier.

Is there anything different that needs to be done to address the SI shift? Or just keep doing what has gotten me this far?

 

I suggest Ellen that you just keep doing the TMS healing techniques that have been working for you.
Decide which ones have helped you the most and practice them.

For me it's deep breathing, positive visualization, meditation, and living in the present. Also, laughing.
Of I laugh off any stress or headache it seems to go away fast.

 

Thank you everybody for the responses, I really appreciate them. I've ordered "The Great Pain Deception" from Amazon.

To Steve, I'd like to get more information about some of the terms you described. What is Phase 4 TMS, exactly, and what are the other phases? What is SI? What is the T-persona?

What do you think would be the best course of action to resolve my TMS? Should I just remind myself of the concept in Dr. Sarno's book and see how it goes over the next few weeks, or should I seek therapy or other counseling services?

Thank you.

 

Huskmankarl, it will be much easier on me if you read those phrases in GPD. Take a month or so and read through it slowly. All your questions should be answered. If not, just ask me here. This is my Sloppy Joe's Bar.

Counseling is usually good. Go for it if you can afford it. But they had better understand TMS.

Gather (pillar 1)....Act (pillar 2)

Ellen keep doing what you've been doing! You're doing great. All healing comes through the same mechanism. I should have said, "can be more problematic." I have to be careful of every word I type, or they can bite me.

SO

 

I always enjoy your ideas Steve. It's very reassuring.
AL