Interesting TMS episode

I had an experience a few nights ago that illustrated to me a phrase from Steve O's book where he saw that TMS "overplayed it's hand."

As some of you know I'm a professional musician with RSI symptoms.

On Thursday I was changing strings on the guitar I use for my weekend gig. As I was finishing, the electronics on this guitar just stopped working suddenly. I tried to do some trouble shooting but no luck.

This brought on anxiety and fear since I would now have to use a different guitar over the weekend and thoughts of how that would affect my hands?, would I be able to play ok? etc.

As the fear grew I had a procession of symptoms happen in my right arm very quickly: burning, tennis elbow, soreness in the forearm, pain in the hand-- all in the course of a few minutes!!
I've been working on seeing TMS symptoms as an invitation from my subconscious to "take the bait" if you know what I mean. As I was just able to watch all these symptoms happen, I guess my mind kept trying different pains to see if one would work.

I was able after a few minutes to let go of the initial fear and turn it over to a higher power and even find some peace. The symptoms were almost all gone by the time I went to sleep.

I wish I could say that during the course of playing this past weekend I was pain free as the result of this experience. I did still have some discomfort, but nothing that stopped me from being to play my 4 1/2 hr gig Friday and Saturday.

I'm learning so much here and I look forward to a time when I'm back to 100% playing ability, but in the meantime I'm grateful to have this at a manageable level, where I can still work.

It's an interesting journey! I continue to learn so much about the mindbody connections. Thanks to all of you who support me by sharing your experiences.

 

Msunn…totally here you My TMS kicked into high gear this weekend after hearing several chronic pain sufferers detail their stories at a Christmas party. Then I had a few more things happen in my dreams ("the royal road to the the subconscience" as Freud said) that I felt were VERY significant of breaking up some previously very tough ground. I don't think the timing was insignificant given the severity of the flare up.

I'm glad you're here…play on!

PS Forest, loved your story too…how interesting. I know my flareup of shoulder issues was because of empathy and suggestion by the folks at that party (who, btw, weren't interested in hearing about TMS). Smile.

 

Thanks for your stories Forest. It really helps to know others have had similar experiences. I especially identify with you because I know your problems were RSI related. I guess seeing TMS overplaying it's hand is another strong example for my evidence sheet.
Thank you also North Star. The nonlinear nature of TMS healing still is uncomfortable for me, but I can see I'm not alone here!

 

Thanks, Forest….see you over in that other thread!

 

TMS did overplay its hand with me, and that was its downfall. That was 10 years ago, hard to imagine that much time has passed. In one of Blamire's movies, (off-beat humor I enjoy) the wife alien said to her husband, Bammin, regarding how many years had passed, "where does the time go Bammin?" And the husband alien said, "it goes down a long tube I think?"

Years later, after the overplaying hand in my TMS, I heard Dr. Sarno say that when the pain increased for no apparent reason, that was a sign it was TMS. He also said that the worse the pain was the more likely it was TMS. The guy is a great doctor, courageous, and compassionate.

Steve

 

Steve, I followed your example in your book and bought the audio version of the great doctor to listen to on a short road trip the other day. It was just what the doctor ordered. I've been in the midst of a pretty good flare and hearing his voice and wisdom helped greatly. (Oh, the irony. One of the symptoms was in my leg…a favorite site. I was driving my kiddo out of town for a minor surgery and it was accelerating that brought on the symptom. Uh, duh brain. Is that all the creativity you have today? That particular manifestation faded after a few minutes of self talk.)

Dr. Sarno….and you…are one my Wall of Gratitude. (If you're not familiar with that, it's something Zig Ziglar recommended people do. It is a list of people who have positively impacted your life. Half the people on my Wall are those whom I've never even met.)

 

North Star, we've never met in person and I haven't met Steve in person but I feel as if I know both of you,
and some others who post on TMSWiki. I feel like I'm among good friends.

 

I feel the same way, Walt. Who wouldva thunk we'd be making friends using a forum twenty years ago, huh? Variety may be the spice of life and all but I appreciate ability to connect, via the internet, with like-hearted folks. Life is good!

 

Thanks for your story Forest. Will there ever be a time where we don't get flare ups? My ankle has really been acting up and my GI symptoms have been horrible due to increased stress in a personal relationship. It sucks!

 

aa3405, I know we will have stress in some personal relationships, but I believe the good outweighs the bad.
I've had some real bad relationships, mainly from betrayal of friendship,
but when I think about the wonderful relationships I've had with other friends over the years,
the good ones make the bad ones all but disappear. Not completely disappear, but I'm working on that.
Forgiveness must be the answer. Then we can forget the s.o.b.'s. And that makes the TMS pain go away.

 

aa3405, I understand the frustration! I have to remind myself that "sufficient is the evil for today"…ie…one day at a time! Be sure to take some time out for yourself - things that nurture you - things that you enjoy.

I just finished a "romantic" anniversary dinner with my husband and my MOTHER IN LAW who dropped by to visit. And visit. Yeah, I'm feeling the heartburn.

 

Northstar, happy anniversary, minus mother in law. It was fun to read that I was on your wall of gratitude. That's sweet, and humbling. I too have a wall of gratitude in my heart. The names etched there will never be forgotten as long as it beats with life.

I'm going to see what zig ziglar is now. I hope it has chocolate on it.

Steve

 

Thanks for your post Steve. I've gotten a tremendous amount of out your book! It's a pleasure to meet you here.

Seeing the crazy progression of symptoms is definitely great evidence that what I have is TMS.

I guess where I still get stuck is in increasing activity. I'm still cautious using my hands and I guess I fear a TMS flare up could still prohibit me from working. I know you said it takes courage to challenge that.
Hopefully my courage will continue to increase as I go through this process

 

Steve, Zig doesn't come in chocolate, I'm afraid. But his motivational messages and a life modeling gratitude is sweet to the soul indeed. He passed away several months ago at the age of 90-something. He was an amazing man. You can find him talking about his Wall of Gratitude on Youtube. My Wall of Gratitude isn't on that scale…like your's, it's in my heart. And occasionally, I will take stock and write down the names of all those who've helped me through the years. That always breaks any pouty funk I may find myself in.

Msunn, fear and TMS….oh yes….peanut butter and jelly. They just go together. I've been reading two other books, "Conversations with God" and "The Power of Now". Both of these books address fear and the negative energy they send out AND how that power attracts the very thing we're afraid of. My slightly "Spock" (yes, I'm a Trekkie), brain has a difficult time getting around something on the "woo-woo" side but the proof is in the pudding, as they say. I CAN see the fruits of my negative thinking. (And in reference to my earlier comment, I had been afraid of my Mother in Law dropping over and look what happened. haha)

 

Non-linear ... this reflects one of the various challenges for me. I prefer things orderly and logical yet in complete contrast, I love the spontaneous explosion of joy from a pre-dawn tromp around the yard with our dog as the moon bathes the sky and the stars seem to laugh. It was also graphically illustrated years ago when I took up the guitar. I was used to the piano, a linear, straightforward series of notes, whereas the guitar revealed the same note located in multiple places. This struggle between linear and non-linear appears in so many variations. Even in my study of anatomy ... frustration arise as I continue to learn that anatomy is not a precise science at all. Mis-information clogs the integration of my quest to understand this amazing body we inhabit.

And then we come to TMS/MBS ... there is logic here, in theory. Our subconscious responds to a threat and fires out pain for distraction. This makes sense. But the knowing does not always translate into ending the responses. We all have different inner signals, unique to our own interpretations.

Indeed, you said it perfect ... nonlinear nature of TMS healing is still uncomfortable ..

*smiles* When I was six years old, I created my first deliberate internal story line. It was wrapped exclusively around Star Trek. I obsessively watched the re-runs every opportunity. Every night as I prepared for sleep, I adjusted my nightgown to reflect the mini dresses, and put myself on the Enterprise as a child seeking refuge, and the crew became my parents. At that age, I understood that something was very misaligned with the values I was picking up around me. It was through Star Trek I learned about good-guys, and doing the 'right' thing, and how racism was inappropriate, and that logic was desirable. Star Trek became my bedtime story, my gateway into other worlds. It became the foundation of my inner world. I have an extensive collection of the older novels (pre-Paramount controlling the authors) where the stories became richer, delving into the complex relationships. I yearned so deeply to be part of that universe. Thirteen years ago, I discovered role-playing groups where you have your own characters woven into the fabric of the Star Trek world, and you go on your own, bold adventures with other players who are just as passionate. My gallery includes extensive Starship images, and specs, and terminology. I've had characters at helm, in medical, security, civilians, and finally, the Captain's Chair. My ship is a Galaxy Class called the U.S.S. Meridian, commanded by Julia Adams.

I am a full-blown Trekker. Once again, you send me into tumbling into pleasant memories.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

North Star I do believe what you are about fear is very true. I have seen in many cases how my thinking influences what happens in the external world.
When I get stressed out though, it is so easy to revert to old negative patterns, I guess because at one point they helped me survive.

I do get that if I'm anxious and fearful as a way to try to protect me from something bad happening, it's a pretty poor technique since something bad is already happening when I obsess on those type of feelings! As we say in the recovery community "progress not perfection." I think the crazy thinking is happening less often and in shorter lengths of time. Hopefully that's progress


Lily I relate. Being a recovering control freak I am uncomfortable with the erratic symptoms/progress. I'm just trying to settle in with the idea that the TMS really has gotten better, and it will take as long as it takes to heal. Easier said than done sometimes!

 

Msunn, I've referred to myself as a recovering control freak too. (As well as a former parent expert too…that was before I had kids. )

Lily Grace…Live long and prosper! My favorite series is Next Generation. And then the original.

 

At what point do you go from being a control freak, to being a recovering control freak? I have greatly softened in this area, but I cannot say it is not there, lurking.

I have a 'thing' for bald men. Captain Jean Luc Picard ... oh my *dreamy smile* I have the entire vhs collection of the original and TNG. Deep Space 9 and Voyager didn't do anything for me. TNG also inspired more appreciation for Mozart and Shakespeare. Fun and pleasant memories.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^