Is it TMS? Past TMS Success Story Navigating a New Situation

Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forum and seeking some support as I navigate my current situation. I've had TMS / MBS in the past and navigated it successfully. My 2022 situation is a success story and leads into where I am today.

In early summer 2022, I developed pelvic pain symptoms that I thought was prostatitis or an STI. I was dating at the time, I believe came up with the idea that I could have gotten an STI, and my mind manifested it. How my body could mimic those symptoms was mind blowing. I took every STI test and they came back clean. With the pain still there, I went to the doctor who give me a prescription for Levaquin saying I had prostatitis, it's an antibiotic (that's important to this story I believe later - that class of drugs is known for causing severe tendon side effects in some people). Sure enough, the antibiotic didn't work. My next trip was to a urologist who ran every test under the sun. Everything came back clean. I was unfamiliar with TMS / MBS at the time, but I had enough information to convince me that what I had was coming from my mind. Convinced of that, I set the problem aside mentally and a few weeks later the symptoms resolved.

I am a runner and cyclist and living an active life is very important to me. In summer 2023, I got shin splints that was a bit of a traumatic event and forced me to take a couple of months off running. The recovery was long, and during the process I read more about the dangers of Levaquin to tendons and I think that started to enter into the back of my mind. Throughout my January - March 2024 marathon training season, I had shin splint symptoms that popped up on occasion. After my 20 mile long run in late March / early April, the shin splint symptoms were so severe the next day that I was determined to resolve them. It's notable that during that run I remember asking myself if this would be my last run due to the shin splints given how they kept popping up and occasionally more severe.

In my effort to solve the problem, I went to my primary ortho and asked for bilateral tibia / fibia MRIs. Verdict: no sign of shin splints or other injuries. I asked if he thought the issue could be psychosomatic: he said it was worth looking into. However, I didn't explore that further at the time.

By that point, the shin splints had calmed down but I had stopped running to be safe. However, seeking more clarity and a permanent fix to the problem (which was PT and other therapies in my mind), I went to a new doctor and asked for bilateral ankle MRIs to rule out inner ankle tendon issues. Verdict: no inner ankle tendon issues. However, the radiologist saw what the doctor described as "fraying" on one of my outer ankle tendons. He asked if I had pain along that tendon: I told him I didn't and he cleared me to run. That said, despite not running for almost two weeks prior to this appointment, I had developed metatarsalgia in my right foot. The doctor told me its no big deal, take some Aleve, and it will go away.

With the doctor clearing me to run, I went ahead and did the last group run of my training season two days later around 4/27. It went great, there was no significant pain, and it was comfortable and relaxing. Best run I had in a long time. However, the next day I woke up and it hurt to walk on my ankle. Assuming it was the metatarsalgia, I called another doctor to schedule an appointment and make sure it wasn't really a stress fracture.

The drive to the doctor that morning was rainy. Just a couple minutes from the office, I'm sitting at an intersection stopped and boom - I get rear ended. The other driver fled the scene. Since there was nothing I could do, I went ahead to my appointment. The doctor agreed to a foot MRI to check for a stress fracture and I scheduled a follow up for the next week. Later that day, I went to urgent care to have my neck / back checked due to the wreck. An x-ray was clear. I got back to the office and my ankle started feeling worse. I flexed it and in my mind I thought I heard a noise. In my head I assumed it had to be the inner ankle tendon that was described as "frayed" by the other doctor. I quickly made sure that my doctor would be able to address it with me at my MRI follow up appointment the next week.

In the week prior to the appointment, it hurt to walk and I was limping. I started doing research on that tendon that was supposedly fraying online. The literature was very clear: that tendon does not heal on its own if its torn. If it's torn, it requires surgery. An hour before I left for my appointment, I received the radiologist report on the frayed tendon that I had yet to see. It was my worst nightmare: it said I had a tear.

I get to the doctor who tells me I have no stress fracture in the spot where the metatarsalgia is. Of course, my mind had already shifted to what the radiologist viewed as a tear. He examined my foot and said I just had peroneal tendonitis and felt like it wasn't much of anything - he thought the tendon was strong. He told me to wear a brace and sent me to PT. Confused, I asked him about the MRI. He explained that tendon issues are notoriously difficult to call in that area from MRI and that they rely more on their clinical opinion. He went over the MRI, said he disagreed with the radiologist, and said he didn't see a tear. Still confused, I accepted the explanation to the extent I could and went home. While I couldn't run, he cleared me to bike.

Over the week to come (this was the first week of May), I did tons of internet research and I stumbled again on the tendon side effects of Levaquin. Tendon side effects with those drugs are very real, but it seems odd that I would have a major development almost two years later. Still, I was worried about it and it was hard to get off my mind. I also continued to worry about the "tear" call from the radiologist that my doctor disagreed with. I couldn't get out of the back of my mind that a tear to that tendon wouldn't heal and I feared surgery that would involve a significant recovery period. Knowing I could bike, I did that a couple of days in a row. Shortly after the second ride, I started to have whiplash symptoms. A couple of days later, I thought I would have to go to the hospital the whiplash was so bad. Those symptoms have been off and on at a lower severity over the next month. I also developed arm pain the next week, which I believe occurred after reading about arm pain and whiplash.

Over the next month, I went to PT and the right ankle pain started to dissipate a bit. Still, low level pain was there every day and I'd have bad days. On top of that, I couldn't get the tear concern out of my head knowing that a tear won't heal. Making matters worse, I started to get symptoms in my other ankle, although they were less severe. So I went back to the doctor in early June: he reaffirmed his view, said the tendon was strong, and gave the MRI another look. Still, in his opinion, he saw no tear. He encouraged me to get a second opinion but I decided against it at the time.

Over the next two weeks, I continued PT and continued to progress slowly with the outer ankle tendon issue and I was going to the chiropractor twice a week too for the whiplash. The PT encouraged me to try five 30 second running intervals, and I tried that while visiting family. The next day I got twinges of pain from the ankle area roughly every ten minutes. The pain calmed for a couple of hours after soaking it in ice, and then came back for another 24 hours before stopping immediately before I went to PT.

A couple of days later, I started to get pain in the tendon on the other side of my ankle (the inner side). It's notable that this pain started after a couple of days after reading about someone with tendonitis in both of those ankle tendons on a forum. After a few days of not getting better, I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor. Once it got to the time for my appointment, the pain was still there but it wasn't as bad. I told the doctor I probably jumped the gun on the appointment, but I wanted him to review the MRI that showed the potential tear on the outer ankle and get that second opinion. He agreed with the first doctor, saying that I didn't have a tear. He also gave a fresh diagnosis on my whole ankle complex that I didn't think made much since.

That takes me to today. I still have regular low level pain in my outer right ankle almost all the time. When walking or running (which I've started lightly), I feel some additional twinges here and there. Walking is uncomfortable still on it still. I also have the new inner ankle pain, particularly on the right ankle. It seems to move around a bit. The neck / back pain from whiplash is off and on. The arm pain and metatarsalgia are mostly gone, but they pop up every now and again. I also have an irritated nerve that runs right by the impacted tendon. If I rub it, I'll get a zap of pain that goes into my foot. The assumption is that me rubbing it or the ankle brace rubbing against it started those nerve symptoms.

When talking to my therapist last week, he casually mentioned in the conversation saying "I'm not saying this is you, but I had a patient who had psychosomatic pain and here's how they recovered." That immediately got me thinking about my pelvic pain that was clearly MBS from a couple of years prior. I've since been reading work from Sarno and Schubiner and just started doing the exercises in Unlearn Your Pain. I clearly recognize that I meet many of the personality traits and have recognized multiple examples of past MBS episodes in my life.

As I worked through it, the outer ankle pain didn't start until the radiologist report that said I have a tear. Two doctors say they disagree and that there is no tear. The inner ankle pain didn't start until I heard about someone in a forum having both inner and outer ankle tendonitis. The arm pain seemed to start after I read about it as a whiplash symptom. On top of that, I had serious health concerns due to the past Levaquin exposure I was wrestling with that had started a fear cycle. Further, being told you have a tear that won't heal (even though multiple doctors disagree) is a powerful nocebo. Oh, and not to mention the shake up from getting rear ended. Being a runner, taking away my ability to run and live an active lifestyle is a core fear TMS / MBS could impact.

In recent days, I've started to evaluate whether all of this is TMS / MBS. To say the least, I know the fear cycle is exacerbating my problem. I still struggle with the tear thing, mainly because even though I've improved a low level pain is almost always there. The pain also can worsen with movement so I guess that's another hesitation about whether its MBS. But how do I rule it out - more doctors and another MRI? I struggle with whether that's necessary or if it would just further spike a fear cycle. Finally, the irritated nerve I'm not sure is MBS - I'm not sure if it would cause that type of symptom (zap of pain when rubbed).

If you've made it to the end of this, thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. This is a complex story and I don't know how to make it short - there's just too many important details. I'm just looking to hear if everyone thinks I'm going in the right direction. Again, thank you - this is a day when I can use the support.

 

I think you're moving in the right direction. The fear cycle definitely fucks everything up and multiplies your worries to no good end. We've all wrestled with that. Especially people like me, whose initial bullshit thought everytime I feel some new, unexplained twinge or see something new and unusual on my body is "That could be cancer!" It's helpful for me to remember that a) I don't have to believe every thought I think, and b) just because something is possible doesn't mean it's likely..in fact, in a lot of cases, it's highly UNlikely. And in any case, it's completely unproductive to worry about in the short term because there's nothing I can do about it short of getting checked out, which 99.9% of the time results in doctors telling me, "There's nothing wrong".

The length of your post speaks to your anxiety about the subject. Your story sounds a lot like my first story - I had two years of testicular pain and dozens of doctors and tests, all with very different conclusions about what was wrong and what the best solution would be. Lots of up and downs.

I am not a doctor. For whatever it's worth though, if I were in your shoes, I'd consider:

- believing the doctor who said he didn't see a tear
- accepting the idea that it's very unlikely that Levaquin has anything to do with your current situation...but ask a doctor about that if will give you more confidence in the idea. Belief is important.
- reading "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman (it did wonders for my state of mind and awareness of it) and "The Great Pain Deception" by Steven Ray Ozanich (his story is much tougher than anything you or I have had to put up with, and if he can make it, well...)

 

Shin splints are TMS. I know because I had them before I knew about TMS and they only happened when I was under extreme stress...I have run several thousand miles since with no symptoms...always on concrete and asphalt.
You are way overinformed about the 'Medieval Structural Myth' that Sarno spoke of and the mythology has expanded greatly under the MRI...it's like knowing a lot about dungeons and dragons...only a small number of a peculiar group even know what that means. You joined the group, learned their nomenclature and now the dungeon master has you by the shorthairs.

You said you healed from TMS? I didn''t see one single mention of where you were emotionally and with ANGER in any of this long post???? Until you begin to reframe the narrative and drop all of this jargon that they trade in, it will be hard for your brain to delete it..and it's a shame because so many people lose their Joyful hobbies because of the dungeon masters...it's not real.... well, it is real (the pain) but it's not real as in the cause and effect.

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. You're absolutely right on the fear and anxiety cycle - it definitely corresponds to the length of my story! I appreciate you taking the time to read it. I started to make some good progress last week with confronting the underlying issues, but then had a bad day with more / new pain the day I wrote that post. The pain can make it hard to concentrate and sucks me into a fear loop. That struggle carried into yesterday and now I'm picking myself back up again.

I think you're dead on with needing to believe the doctors who say there's no tear. That's really all I can do on that. They're experts at identifying problems on MRI and ankle MRIs have serious issues that make them less effective. Choose to believe them, and work through the meditations, exercises, and strategies to help me pull myself out. That's my strategy.

I feel like I've made good progress on accepting Levaquin has nothing to do with my current situation. I don't think there's a way I can get 100% proof, but there's plenty of evidence to support that. Doctors told me that it's unlikely that a complication would emerge now almost two years after taking it. They tend to see complications more when there are long IV drip courses and they tend to be more acute (a few months after taking it). In addition, I probably ran 900 miles in the year post Levaquin - complications likely would have happened during that year of running.

Appreciate the book recommendations - I'll give them a look!

 

When I say I healed from TMS, it was a couple of years ago when I had pelvic pain. I did every test under the sun to identify it. Once I did all those tests and they found nothing, I realized that it was stress induced. Once I realized that, I stopped worrying about the pain and it went away in a few weeks. Unfortunately, my current situation is much harder and more complex. I'm doing my best to work through it, reminding myself it will take time, and I'm trying to give myself grace.

Today (and over the past week) I've been doing exercises from Unlearn Your Pain. I'm still working through everything, but I believe that recent stressors, fear, and loss have brought me to where I am today. In the past couple of years, my partner of 7-years left me, my dog died, and I lost a young nephew. On top of that, my life isn't what I thought it would be at this stage and I've recognized a feeling of being trapped. The MRI result also played into some of my worst fears regarding losing running / my active lifestyle and Levaquin side effects. It's a tangled web and I'm working on all of those things. I wish I never would have gotten that damn MRI. I bet there's a good chance that I wouldn't be in as severe of a situation today if I hadn't gotten it.

You're right that there's no mention of anger in my post. I am working on that and my emotions though! My personality traits match well with those that suffer from TMS, and I can think of three major past flare ups that were TMS driven and countless minor issues. However, I don't think anger matches up as well and there's no major childhood trauma in my life that I can recall (although I know there are some things I carry along from my youth). For me, I don't think it's as much anger as it is fear. I get a major fear in my mind and then it takes on a life of its own. I go into a doom loop. Anger does have some role though I'm sure. I just finished a writing exercise recommended in Unlearn Your Pain and focused on anger. I was surprised at the reaction I had to it at the end - there are definitely things I carry with me and I need to find a way to release them in a healthy way.

I appreciate you taking time to reply and sharing your experiences. I'm working hard to reframe and rewire my brain and get past all the medical crap that's fed into problem.

 

Hi Jan, thanks for the welcome! I've actually been lurking on this board for years, and used to occasionally post on tmshelp way back in the day (back then I was the one looking for support). After my first big issue (testicular pain) was resolved, I just got on with my life and didn't really stick around to offer support of my own because I didn't feel strong enough. My concern was that just talking about it would bring it back, especially after that did in fact happen once for about a month several years later. Looking back, I think it was the right thing to do for me. Long story short, I'm at a point now where I'm able to get involved, and what better place to do that than here?

I checked out that book post and felt overwhelmed haha. I have too many books on my "people really ought to read this stuff!" list. If she had something more specific that she was looking for, a book or two might come to mind.

 

Don't fall into the 'sophomore slump' of TMS. A LOT of people have your experience. I have had friends whose pain went away when I just EXPLAINED how TMS works to them....inevitably though, they call me back 6 mo's , a year later "What was name of that Book?"

OR..they agree with Sarno but hen have a 'real' issue "No Bro..that other thing was psychosomatic, but THIS is REAL" as if feeling any pain at all isn't real?

If I know them personally, they are usually in a horrible marriage, have some career misgivings or some other obvious thing. Of course I never tell them (unless they ask)....the trick with this is figuring out what things are invisible to US that necessitated us having a distraction...90% of the time that alone will stop the symptoms.

Just because you're experiencing Fear rather than rage in your 'perceived' emotions, as Sarno called them, postulating what angers OUGHT to or MIGHT be there is usually essential for recovery...this is almost more of a creative act than anything....

Keep plodding along and you'll get free from 'the system'... guaranteed

 

I love when you say this because the well for my anger is so deep it just keeps on going the deeper I dig. And I worry about the stuff I have ZERO chance of changing in my life (grown kids in bad marriages; husband with health concerns, my unplanned early retirement, money concerns, extended family BS and more). Please tell me you can empty the bucket enough to pull out!

 

You are on your way! You started the game plan! Forget about all the other medical choices and MRIs, etc. Go all in with TmS. If you keep one foot in mind-body healing and one foot in the medical world, it won’t work.