Its been a while - worried

Hi all,

It's been a while since I've been here.

Just a quick overview:

I'm 30 from England. I had a bit of a troubled upbringing as my mother was an alcoholic and I got a lot of abuse, I also have perfectionist traits and tend to bottle up my emotions - although I got better at dealing with my feelings and have not had any symptoms in over 2 years, now I am struggling again.

My history with what I believe were all psychosomatic:

• Chronic Hip Pain / Back Pain - 2 labral tear surgeries on both sides, this didn't fix my pain but discovering John Sarno and the TMS wiki and Georgie did, once I got over this I then started getting other symptoms below.
• Acid Reflux - 1 month
• Testicular Pain - 1.5months
• Constant Tension Headache - 2months / had this twice
• Dizziness - 1 month
• Eczema

Over the past few years, I've generally been well and lived in the Czech Republic for 2 years until February this year when I decided to work remotely and travel again.

Before leaving the Czech Republic, I got bronchitis and a nasty cough that lasted almost a month, this was common for me previously to get some symptoms before I travelled. When I got back to the UK for a month before heading to Madeira in March, I felt anxious about travelling again. I was also dealing with issues in a relationship and the end of a work contract so lost half of my income. This was when I started experiencing gut issues—diarrhoea, more gas, bloating—which improved a little once I got to Madeira. However, with the ongoing relationship problems and lack of stability in my life, the symptoms returned. I then noticed some bright red blood when I went to the toilet. This worsened my anxiety, and Googling the symptoms didn't help.

So, I went to the doctor in Madeira. He prescribed some tablets for anxiety and ordered a colonoscopy. A few days later, my mum died (you can see one of my old posts about my mother), so I returned to the UK and missed the colonoscopy appointment. I then saw a doctor in the UK who, after asking me some questions, thought that I just had some small tear somewhere and gave me a drink to take. A few days after my mum's funeral the diarrhoea stopped.

I went to the mountains in Bulgaria a week later, and the first week was without any issues, but I started getting anxious again and started getting diarrhoea. After a week of diarrhoea every day, I then noticed a small pool of bright red blood, so the next day I flew home. I did a stool test which came back positive for blood, and blood tests which say I am anaemic and something is off with my liver.

I certainly know the diarrhoea is stress-induced as every time I felt calmer this stopped, such as now coming back to the UK and being around family the moment I get here it stops and I haven't had it since. My other symptoms of gas and noticing the blood once or twice and a positive FIT test are what worry me that I have something serious, which I know I have a colonoscopy coming up for. Any tips for avoiding reading dr google and not thinking of the worse outcome would be helpful.

 

Sometimes it is hard when the symptoms worsen, and the need to rely on official health care systems would make us feel vulnerable. I heard some of the latest research shows the potential that all physical ailments could start from the mind. Our genes make up our mind too. Dr. Gabor Mate has a good book "when the body says no", similar principles to Dr. Sarno's work. His book deals with more cancer and other chronical diseases. Maybe read that book while waiting for your exam?

 

Claire Weekes! You need above all else to begin dealing with your anxiety. Once you feel like you have more power, and see that you can make choices about how you are going to react to certain situations, you’ll have more confidence that you can handle these things.
TMS work -the things you learned via Georgie will help you manage no matter if it’s all TMS (or not). Worrying will not help you solve or fix anything, Claire Weekes books have specific directions and advice for rumination and worry. So helpful.