landry lesson 33 comments

I was positively struck by the comments of Olin, " … decision to not think about something until you are ready to face it isn't suppression but scheduling your journaling work to the manageable level" Thank you Olin, I needed that.

In the past my avoidance of journaling signified to me my lack of courageous responsibility & willingness to do the work necessary for my evolvement. I ascribed these deficiencies to my character weakness and fears. I prefer the thought, "…scheduling your journaling work to the manageable level".

Lesson 33 seems replete with so much useful, insightful information I can use.
For example:
1. The reply of Frances Anderson to the question: "…How do I push past calendar watching, severe doubts/worry and obsessive fear?" seems to have been posed totally for my benefit, and the Anderson reply has given me more patience & willingness to do the work, see "…encourage you to respect the resistance when you notice it" (a new idea for me; it generates a bit of self-compassion)
2. I clarified some ideas for myself by doing the journaling exercise pertaining to how perfectionism affects my life.
A. I will not put myself in a 'performance' situation unless I have high assurance I will excel, and be perfect. (I fear criticism. I am so dependent on what others think of me)
B. #1 above constricts my development because I avoid venturing into new territory. (I am afraid of the effort and failures encountered with trying something new. By striving for perfectionism, I deny myself much of what is available in life.)

C. I criticize myself for #2 above. ( How can I ever be perfect? I reinforce the feeling of inferiority, and the resentment stemming from believing I am inferior. It's not fair that I am inferior. Whose to blame for this mess? Not me. I perpetuate avoiding responsibility.)
D. I may avoid asking questions so as to NOT appear intellectually inferior or ill informed. (I give more importance to what others think of me than I give to my own opinion. I nurture low self-confidence and lose the opportunity of getting answers to my question.)

E Conversely, I may ask a question so as to demonstrate to others how much I know. (my question is not authentic & is a sick way of getting praise & notice. It perpetuates dependence on others for my self-esteem. I continue to live a lie.)

 

Hi Richard,

I hit a wall with journaling too and for me it was that it was just bringing up too much all at once. I think you have to listen to that part of yourself too and give yourself permission to ease up a little.