Learning as you go. Mixed results. A win!!!!

Hey All,

I'm sure many other TMS sufferers have probably posted something along these lines before, but in case they haven't this may help you take some pressure of yourself to get this TMS healing process right. This is a brief summary of what i have learned and experience on my journey.

First a bit of background. I first had crazy intense backpain in October 2012, this was not an injury but came on while out for a jog/run. Then came the spiral, doctors visits, physio, MRI, orthopedic surgery etc. These in retrospect turned a twinge into a permanent pain that was going to end in an L4/5 disc surgery.
In February 2013 tragedy struck with a botched tonsillectomy and a stint in intensive care with aspirated pneumonia (nearly a month) barely alive and lucky to tell the tale.

It was only after coming out of hospital I found Dr Sophers book "To be or not to be Pain Free", that gave me TMS awareness, and many subsequent books by Dr Sarno, Dr Schubiner and others. I was searching for alternatives to back surgery that my Dr's were pushing hard for me to have, yet I had a gut instinct telling me not to go under the knife.

To start I had limited success in beating the pain as I took in the information on TMS. I tried really hard to get this all to sink in and apply it. I liken TMS to unwinding a knotted piece of string or rope back into something usable and here is why (the knots in your life).

I learned that the subconscious has more control than you think. You need to be patient and diligent at creating this link. I found a whole list of emotions and habits that were eating at me through my unconscious by journalling.

Here's a brief list:
Anger
Anxiety/Fear (My biggest hurdle)
Conflict between various emotions
Obligation vs Self interest
Expectation
Sadness
Guilt
Shame
Etc....................

As the links between historical events form, both big events and small ones that may seem insignificant the picture starts to form (this has taken over a year).

Some events were:
My partner miscarrying
A break up
Business failure and loss of money
Court cases
Putting on weight
Drama with my parents
Confusion with my Christian faith
and many others

For me acknowledging the events and how they made me feel instead of repressing them had a gradual diminishing effect on the pain. (In my earlier posts some of my challenges are recorded).
In many instances I had to keep revisiting the same events until most of the the many emotions were thought through and a proper perspective was gained. This is a continual process.

I also introduced exercise, this is the best measure and challenge to overcome the fear of pain itself. From walking a few km's, to playing tennis, to cycling and even some boxing fitness work.

Often as a result of each small change/addition of the TMS tools and techniques pain would increase, pain would move, and still does, back pain, migrains, upset tummy and so on. This is to be expected, treat it at the time but then acknowledge it in hindsight when journalling and they too will diminish.

As your new routine of TMS seek and destroy plays out you will need to introduce dream building. You must start small, with little things that you can do, see and share that bring you joy. These positive goals are healing when used right, without time pressure expectations, but as motivation and reward.

A new lifestyle routine forms by pursuing the remedy that treats TMS. Things like daily journalling, meditation, exercise, changes to how you interact ( often to dealings with the people or sort of behaviour of others that cause you stress), exercise, taking time out, being kind to yourself and so on.

We often think that we need to take a dream holiday to some place exotic and that we would unwind and reset everything in our minds and in our lives to be how we want them to be. The truth is you need to get that sort peace into your daily life. How you do this is a journey in itself, but well worthwhile.

I still have the occasional TMS attack, but they are becoming less and less frequent. I am finding it easier to sleep and dream again.

Remember you have emotion based physical symptoms. Your journey is uniquely yours, don't let your subconscious hold you hostage, be patient and kind to yourself in your efforts.

Good Luck !!!!

 

Hi, Aucklander. Your post was very interesting and so is the story of your healing. You definitely found help in TMS knowledge and how you used it and still are. You also had a lot of repressed emotions and dealt with them.

I hope things keep going well for you. If the pain comes back, you know how to handle it. Good luck to you, too!

I'm sure those who read your story will find a lot of encouragement from it.