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Losing Hope

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by shadowson, Apr 7, 2024.

  1. shadowson

    shadowson New Member

    What do you do when you’ve tried all the TMS work for years with no results?

    I’m losing hope that it will ever work. Well, I think I’ve lost hope.

    Then that makes me angry, sad and anxious that there is literally nowhere else for me to go.

    My pain is triggered every night in bed while I sleep. I have no idea how to unlearn pain that comes on while I sleep.

    I am pretty sure it’s during REM that my subconscious says “ok I need to switch all the symptoms on now”
     
    shadowson, Apr 7, 2024
    #1
  2. HealingMe

    HealingMe Well known member

    Have you tried talking to your brain before going to sleep? I have found this to be one of the key things to my recovery. Think of your brain as your best friend and not your enemy. It’s just trying to protect you.

    I’ve rewatched this video many times:



    Perhaps something like:

    “Hey brain, every night while I sleep you’ve been sending me pain signals. I want you to know it’s okay, I am safe, and there is no danger. Sleep is good and healing. Work with me, tone it down. We can do this together. There is no reason for you to turn on the symptoms. I promise everything is okay. Let’s have a good night sleep tonight, with minimal to no symptoms.”
     
    HealingMe, Apr 7, 2024
    #2
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  3. Diana-M

    Diana-M Beloved Grand Eagle

    Ok, so my body lights up at night—all my worst symptoms plus panic attacks almost every night. My therapist believes it’s a little part of me (my inner child) trying to tell her story of the abuse I’ve been through. Lately, it has subsided a little. It seems like the more I bring truths to the surface, the less it comes out at night during sleep. Long story short— maybe therapy will help?
     
    Diana-M, Apr 7, 2024
    #3
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  4. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    After many years here, I have reached the conclusion that in the case of severe childhood trauma - which obviously includes sexual abuse as you have mentioned, @shadowson, and which you admit that you minimize - self-help TMS methods are simply not enough.

    The brain of the abused child locks down any honest expression of rage at the time the abuse occurs, in the interests of pure physical survival. That raw rage ends up buried under an impenetrable layer of cement. You can't expect to make a dent in it with an ordinary hammer and chisel from the hardware store. It takes a trained professional with a massive jackhammer to get through it.

    As Dr Sarno himself said, at some point the only solution for some people is a serious commitment to skilled psychotherapy. Unfortunately, the other problem I've seen, over and over, is that the locked down, resistant, abused brain very quickly rejects every attempt at psychotherapy, by convincing the person that it doesn't work. The fear of going back and emotionally re-experiencing the abuse is just too strong.

    @Diana-M is doing great work in therapy - she knows that this is not impossible, not by any means! But @shadowson, it's surely going to take a much different level of emotional vulnerability and risk than you have ever experienced before in your life.
     
    JanAtheCPA, Apr 8, 2024
    #4
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  5. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    Shadowson, I suggest looking into EMDR therapy. It is loosely based on REM sleep. Although they aren’t quite sure how it works, science does know that in REM sleep the mind does its filing and I describe EMDR as being like a really good administrative assistant. When the brain has difficulty getting it’s files in the right folder, EMDR seems to send in it’s best admin, who quietly and efficiently sorts out the mess, and continues to sort it out after the initial filing.
    It is a mind/body therapy and cultivates a sense of safety because you don’t have to tell the therapist all, you actually think things during this therapy .. and that is much easier then simply constantly rehashing all the old stuff.
    It might be worth a try. It doesn’t treat pain (nor claim to), but it really helped me make connections that I could not in journaling. I decided to go because it was the only thing that helped my friend heal 12 ulcers and a whole lot of emotional pain due to his horrifically abusive childhood.
     
    Cactusflower, Apr 8, 2024
    #5
    JanAtheCPA, Diana-M and Ellen like this.
  6. Booble

    Booble Beloved Grand Eagle


    It's not that uncommon for symptoms to arise during sleep. I went through a period of waking up in the middle of the night each night with heart racing and pounding so hard. I would have to get up out of bed and it felt like my body was going to explode.
    I found Sarno and TMS and it all calmed down.
     
    Booble, Apr 8, 2024
    #6
    JanAtheCPA and Diana-M like this.
  7. Diana-M

    Diana-M Beloved Grand Eagle

    Years and years ago I was going to a chiropractor, hoping to heal my mysterious tingling in my leg (unbeknownst to me, TMS). The chiropractor had once been crippled by a martial arts back injury and told by doctors he would never walk again. He then became a chiropractor and did walk again. I asked him in desperation one day, “Will I ever figure out what is wrong with me and get better?”
    “As long as you’re alive,” he said. As in - don’t give up! If you’re still breathing, there is hope.
     
    Diana-M, Apr 8, 2024
    #7
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