Mind is playing a huge trick on me.

I kept myself very busy for my Indian visa extension which I need to get done.
I was in severe pain yesterday and at night where I could barely sleep due to backpain going up to my side hip.

I woke up with severe pain and in agony I tried to distract my mind to some news.

Suddenly it vanished by 80% . This did happen many times in past one month but the relief only stays for few hours..

Why is that I couldn't have this sudden pain free moments for longer time.

I realized I have repressed my emotions and I acknowledge them.

Ohh pain please go away.... Its very hard

 

Its very hard to think psychological when you are in severe pain.
Just hoping the pain will reach a level where I can concentrate psycologically.

 

Yes, it is very hard to think psychological when you are in pain. Some days all I could do was my best to get through and take the edge of somehow. For me it might be a hot bath, to lie on my bed and listen to a meditation tape.... and for a while I would play a particular game on luminosity that was all about directing little trains into stations. It took a lot of focus and I used it to take my mind off the pain for a little while. I started to see a somatic experiencing therapist and she helped me practice the ability to focus on a part of my body that was not it pain. It was very frustrating at first because I could not bring any real attention to areas of my body that were not in pain. But after several months of practice, I could. Sometimes it might just be my elbow or the back of my ankle. I know how hard it is. You will get a break and someday the pain will be gone. In the meantime, look for ways to make it just a little bit less, a little more manageable. Take a deep breathe. You will get through this. Be very kind to yourself.

 

Hi Anne, Thanks for your long PM for my message. Sorry I couldn't get back to you as I am drained a lot..but I read it.

In 2008 after my surgery, I met a lady on bus towards London. She said she is some therapist which I had no clue then. She explained her nature of work. She said she speaks to injured parts and make it feel better. Do you know what Kind of therapy it is?

During that whole trip of 2 hrs I felt I had no back pain in a long while as she was speaking all the while how that works.
I made no connection then. Now that I feel there are different therapies that can work.

This what I could recall when you talked about your somatic experiencing therapist,.

 

I think thats possibly Bodytalk. I know was surprised to hear a local Physio is using that treatment with some patients.

 

Sometimes it helps to take something to relieve the pain so you can deal with it. You dont need to be a hero our body needs sleep . I am not condoning medication but even the great dr S says its ok

 

I do take medicine when the pain is "unbearable". It helps me journal better.

 

If your journaling is repeating itself stop ....to me thats where journaling was making things worse clear your mind of that thought and paper and let it go...

 

I agree with you on this one, that's why I shred my journals, once I've unloaded, I let go and move on. If you have a need to keep revisiting it means you are still holding onto those thoughts which isn't healthy.

 

I have two refuges that have worked for me so far (and I am sure everybody has something like that).
Number 1 is my Lazy-Boy recliner. Because I sit there to read, watch TV, surf the net, and sometimes just sit to contemplate things, my pain is almost always absent when I sit there. I even sleep there many nights when pain keeps me awake in bed. I also do not want to keep my wife awake (here's the typical goodist self).
Number 2 is the toddler's pool. After soaking in the hot tub, or sauna room, I would lie in the warm water of the todd pool for a long time. Again, I am mostly pain-free there. It is a time I do my mental "journaling". I am too lazy to write a journal.

Talk about conditioning. We feel pain in certain places or do certain things or in certain postures, and we blame it as conditioning. Se we can also find comfort in certain places through conditioning. I think I have conditioned myself to feel safe and comfortable in my recliner as well as the kiddie pool.

 

Hi, kchung. I like that you are conditioning your mind to believe you are relieving your pain by sitting or sleeping in the recliner and sitting in the toddler's pool. Whatever works, keep at it. But also keep believing 100 percent that your symptoms are caused by TMS.