Musicians

I read The Mindbody Prescription about 3 weeks ago and I totally identify with the TMS diagnosis. I play drums full time to make a living and along with repressed anger from my father dying at age 5, I've identified that I feel a lot of repressed rage towards the amount of pressure I feel being a professional drummer. I've had symptoms for about 2 years despite all the usual attempts to find relief. I read Sarno's book while taking a week off in the mountains and experienced a relief in symptoms with NO physical therapy of any kind. The problem is that as soon as I returned to my regular life, my symptoms returned. They've moved around from being in my arms, to my lower back and legs to my neck and shoulders. I'm so grateful for this wiki but it's hard not to feel hopeless from time to time. Some days are better than others. I've had days with no symptoms and I've had days that I've felt suicidal because I'm tired of dealing with this stuff. It seems like all I've thought about for the last 2 years is the pain. My whole life has revolved around doing yoga, the Alexander Technique, Tai Chi, P90x, quitting various substances and food items, not practicing, hating touring and playing all because of the pain. I'm done being in pain all the time. I'm done putting my life on hold for this. I've started counseling and quit all form of PT. I've been journaling and reading a lot. I've been trying to be aware of my thought patterns, my inner bully and all that. I feel hopeful and hopeless at the same time. I need help. What else can I do? Am I pressuring myself too much even in my recovery? Should I start practicing again even when I feel my mauled begin to tense? Should I continue my Alexander Technique or Tai Chi lessons? So many questions, I know. Thank you in advance for any help or advice.

 

Glad you discovered Dr Sarno. Have you seen the Structured Educational Program on this site? That may be a good place to start.
You sound like you need to soothe yourself and take some pressure off. Whatever you enjoy doing, rather than doing something to try and alleviate pain. Does that make sense? So if Tai Chi is enjoyable and relaxing, good, stick with it. If it's a chore, drop it. Look for ways to calm yourself, while you continue reading and learning about TMS.

 

Hi, BamBam. I'd get back to playing the drums even for brief periods of time... 5, minutes, then 10, then 15, etc. If it makes you feel good, go for it.

I also think the same about PT. Tai Chi is great. Maybe look at some Youtube videos on Tai Chi.

Your father died when you were 5. My parents divorced when I was 7. I held a lot of repressed anger until I did the SEP and journaled. I realized my folks both had TMS pains (Dad had back ache and Mom had migraine headaches). I put myself in their shoes, realizing how rough their lives were, and it helped me to forgive them. Forgiving is one of the fastest ways to heal from TMS pain of any kind. And forgive yourself... for being human and not perfect. The only perfect creature I know is my dog.

Tell your Inner Bully take a flying leap.

 

I agree with Zumbafan. It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself and you need to give yourself a serious break! It seems like you are doing all the right things. It took me 5 months or so after finding Dr. Sarno's books to recover from my sciatica. So give yourself time and have faith. I promise you this stuff works.

I eventually recovered from other pain and health issues, as well. Now my life is pretty much pain-free even though I have difficult and stressful job.

I used to play music for my living, as well. I know how frustrating it can be. It made me feel trapped sometimes and I just got sick of it. It's pretty much a hobby now (albeit a very serious one).

Give yourself time and be good to yourself. One thought - Since you are seeing a therapist already, you might want to consider one of the therapists on this board. There are some really good ones here.