My taught bad attitude and bad health due to poor sleeping Help !!

I only really have one thing that I cannot make any dent into that at this point I see as an addiction my sleep and my body belief system in it. As far back as I can remember I had no bedtime I just fell asleep at anytime and was lifted up to bed and that was the way it was. If I was 7 or 8 yrs and I was awake on a school night so what 1 am was ok if I fell asleep then. My Mammy would be start cleaning the house at 1.30am sometimes and seemed to be up all night reading and needing little sleep. Indeed my mam would promote how lazy people who needed sleep were citing "you'll sleep when your dead" as the endorsement for a 4 hour sleep per night.We were never allowed sleep in on the weekend and could not watch TV in our PJ'S she hated that when we got up we had to get dressed. Indeed as I grew up such was the aversion in our home to the concept of sleep that I wore my only sleeping 4 hours or 5 sometimes less as a badge of honor so proud that I did not need the dreaded sleep. in the last 6or 7 years in my early 40's I have got to a point that I totally know it is really effecting my health and my husband who head a heart attack at 38 is also badly effected by my sleep routine and it causes stress as it is something I get very positive about fixing give lots of undertaking and then I cant do one night and when my husband trys to help I get annoyed and ignore him. I am up till 3am-4am cause us to run late , its not even that I have just insominia its worse I gear up at bed times and just dont want to sleep deep down I think its such a waste of time and I could be reading, watching tv anything; I know thats my Mam talking and I know I need it but its upsetting me as my business and health is just dire because of it. At 3am I am so perky and awake and switched on and by 10am I am falling asleep , I have crashed my car falling asleep at the wheel , knocked cones off the motor way falling asleep and now I have to curtail my life as I wont drive at night or my wonderful husband has to drive and collect me. It does not help that I am on meds that also have side effect of drowsiness.I am devious and will do anything to get away with staying up watching tv till 2am before I even go up and IKNOW I AM DOING IT and every morning when Isee my poor husband tired and wasted I feel like shit. Its like my whole being wants to be awake as long as it can period. I have tried every book , sleep journals spent money on facy sleep headphones , music ,no tv in room( but PC) ambient lighting , pillow spray , acupuncture wrist straps but if my mind is fighting all the way and wont actually turn the light off ??? its like the bad devil on your shoulder ,I take melatonin , sleeping tabs , teas, herbal remedies when I start nodding off I sit up and wake myself up its like I am possessed . PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHATS GOING ON HELP.

 

Your sleeping issues sound even worse than mine. I know how hard it is to not be able to sleep when you need to. It sounds like one part of your mind is telling you that sleep is bad and a waste of time, while another part of your mind is telling you that need a certain amount of sleep at a certain time to be healthy. This is the type of internal conflict that is a huge recipe for TMS. I suggest journaling about all of this and trying to find a truce both sides of your mind can live with. Find a middle ground somehow that can bring you some peace of mind. No one can sleep with all that going on in their mind. Have you consulted a doctor about this?

Sorry, I don't have more suggestions. I know how you are suffering. Put "insomnia" into the search box at the top right corner and you can read other threads on this topic that may help you. This is a common problem on this Forum.

 

Thanks Ellen ,yes I have seen doctors and got lots of sleeping tabs thats it . I dont ususally get to the point of trying to sleep its the diversions and all the stuff I do to avoid sleeping is most of the problem, I will keep on working on it.