My TMS friends

The other night I could not sleep and made up a story in my head which (at the time) I found quite funny.
Maybe I was halv dreaming....Of course when I am experiencing it it is no laughing matter.

I am often visited by three irritating "friends". They seem to be working closely together. They move around in my body either in pairs or one at a time. Usually when one stops, another one starts. Never leave me alone. Sometimes new ones "join the party" just for the fun of it. That is when my health anxiety starts up. They keep on and on until I go and see my doctor and the minute I walk away from the doctors office and once again it was false alarm, they disappear as quickly as they came. Of course it all seems to be coordinated and ruled from above by a commander who tells them when and where to attack and how long to stay at it. They have this power over me as I never know when they attack. Usually when I am least expecting it. I have not been able to communicate with them and they seem to ignore me. They have been with me for so long that I can hardly imagine a life without them. Deep down I know they are here for a reason and want to tell me something. I have not figured out yet exactly what it is.

I

 

sybilla. That is a great story. Sounds like some repressions in that story. The SEP would be awesome for you to learn about all these repressions sybilla.
Let me know if you need the link to the forum. You have been with us for a little bit and it would be awesome to see you growing in the SEP or even better the TMS recovery program with Alan Gordon ok.

Bless you

 

sybilla, I read your post and Eric's reply and agree with him that the SEP and Alan Gordon programs are two of the best things
you can do for your TMS. Eric and I just wrote a book together on TMS and healing techniques called
God Does Not Want You to Be in Pain. It's out now in paperback and on Kindle from amazon.com.

I didn't mean to plug the book in this post, and won't make a habit of it, but it leads into something I wanted to say to you
about your dream. Eric's and my book encourages people to add the spiritual element to their TMS healing techniques,
and to ask God to help you heal. It has worked for us and for many others.

What brings me to your dream is, just last night I watched a lecture on television by Kenneth Cox, a televangelist,
and although some of those turn me off, he turned me on. He spoke on a spiritual subject I have rarely heard anyone
talk about... the third person of the Holy Trinity. God is the Big One over everything, and he sent his only son, Jesus,
to die for our sins. After his death and resurrection, Jesus told his disciples that he had to die so that the Holy Spirit
could come and be with them in their ministry spreading the Good News of Jesus. And that the Holy Spirit also
would be in everyone, including you and I.

I am a lifelong Catholic but never heard much about all that. It filled my heart so full last night that I felt born again.
Lots of us feel alone in our pain or even in our lives without pain. I am 84 and live alone except for my darling dog,
and most of my relatives never call or visit me, and most of my best friends have died or moved away over the years.
and my last close friend just moved to Denver while I live in a Chicago suburb. I felt lonely and sad until last night
when I realized I am not alone. The Holy Spirit is with me, in me, helping me, guiding me.

I hope this doesn't all sound evangelical. I just write it here because it gave me such a lift of spirit.
I hope you will ask the Holy Spirit to help you in your healing and protect you from the "friends" who
visit you in your dreams.

God bless.

 

I write very little as I am more of a lurker....You are right there is very much repression in me which I know I have to release if I want to get better. Sometimes I don't know if I am getting better or standing completely
still. I think I expect too much too soon (but then again I have been on the TMS journey for two years), press myself too hard. Two things have gotten better. I know that I am better at dealing with my symptoms and my health anxiety (my friends)
and I have become better at handling my anger in daily life, i.e. simply shut up instead of saying something hurtful and let other people take responsibility for their actions (or bad mood f.eks.. That is a big thing for me. I am thinking of doing the Alan Gordon recovery program which I started and interrupted which is another one of my problems. Lack of patience, endurance, not being able to concentrate and then giving up.
I am greatly inspired by your threats and it is such a blessing having this forum and read how other people are dealing with TMS. I don't know where I would be without it. Thank you Herbie.

 

Thank you Walt
I am a former catholic but still consider myself a christian and praying for me is a natural thing but we all know that all our prayers will not be heard. Sometimes when things are bad I think is TMS some sort of punishment
from god but of course it is not so. Everybody is dealing with pain. Life is full of challenges and pain for everybody sooner or later. There is no point of me wanting something else than what I am dealing with. But I have prayed sometimes
for guidance or at least being able to accept what seems to be my destiny. I consider myself lucky being able to turn to god when everything else fails. At that moment I find it easier to accept everything as it is.

I think you are such an inspiration to all on this forum specially how you are dealing with old age and loneliness and everything else that comes with it which we (who are getting older) all know might just wait round the corner. That you pick yourself up again and again and find positive things to do, even encouraging other people on this forum in spite of what you are dealing with I find amazing.
I wish you the very best

 

Awww. Thank you so much sybilla, my moms name was Sybil. I attribute that name to wisdom and knowledge. She always had a way of fixing anything. Anyway I want to spend a moment responding to your post ok.

I understand that you read and study at your own pace but when your ready I would begin the TMS program with Alan Gordon again so you can soon in time be free of your pain and anxiety. See healing is something we have to do everyday right. It's a life change and those changes usually mean picking up on new habits and letting go of old habits. Like expecting to much to soon is not a good habit and it enforces tenses which can be the culprit behind your pain. You said you have become better at two things. Better at dealing with your symptoms and better at handling anger. That's good but you still need to be able to control your anger so you can get rid of your symptoms right. Do you have a daily protocol and tools you work with that is beneficial in all you do. Let me know about what your protocol consist of and we can find out what is holding you back. As you know I will say 1 thing that is holding you back is not going all the way through one of the programs here and simply not asking enough questions. My best advise to you for now would be to get back to the TMS recovery program and get all the questions you have answered ok. You said you have a lot of repression in you so right there is another clue on why your not better or getting better ok. Expecting to much to soon as you know will always hold you back. You can do this.

Actually when you get quiet and don't say anything , that is repressing and you are building tension thus pain right there ok. And the lack of patience and endurance. Not being able to concentrate and then giving up are all parts of the tms problem. You can beat all of these traits with a good protocol and plenty of tools to turn all of this around. Its time to get this rolling. The longer you wait the longer you will still experience TMS. I hope for you the best in all your decisions. The not being able to concentrate is anxiety producing and pain producing by itself. I just finished a study on this not to long ago. I would think about 1 thing and 1 page and 1 lesson at a time. Stop thinking about multi tasking ok. I called a friend up some time ago and she said she was ready to do a phone session so we could find out what was causing her tms right. After about 1 minute on the phone I knew what was a huge culprit in causing her tms.
She was on the phone with me, she was cooking supper, she was talking to her husband and also reading the newspaper all at once. If we want to get better we have to be in the now. And we have to do 1 thing at a time consciously. Most don't even know that their doing all of these things at once but they are and then they wonder why they are in pain. It all has to do with enjoying the present moment and being in the now -- doing 1 thing at a time until completion. This will keep your concentration going in a good way, hope this helps.
Oh and the lady that was doing all of this while we were having a phone discussion. Well after 2 minutes I told her what she needed to do to get better but she didn,t take my advice and went and got ankle surgery, after 2 months she was back looking for more help. I don't know how her story ended I just know how she ended it with the sugery. She did tell me it did,nt help her.

 

I feel sorry for that woman who is in pain and multitasks. That alone would cause anyone pain.
I often find it hard to just do one thing at a time, to stay in that present moment,
but I am working on it. We've all become used to living in this crazy speedrace of a modern life.
I'm grateful I can look back on days before television and computers. I read books, played outside,
listened to the radio (great for the imagination) and enjoyed being with fiends. No hand-held devices,
no ear phones, no blasting radios and tv. Movies were entertaining and I learned from many of them.
They weren't stupid and most had no violence at all. Those were what I consider the "kinder,
gentler years."

Just a few minutes ago I felt the need to leave the computer for a few minutes and pet my dog.
Annie and I had a few relaxing, loving minutes together and I felt so good afterward.

Doing one thing at a time, petting Annie, was wonderful.

 

Thank you for responding.
I am not sure I quite understand what you mean by protocol (english is ot my native language). I guess it is sort of plan with tools how to get better.I think do have one. I am not always successful though

As a matter of dicipline I have a daily routine of tasks I do no matter how bad the symptoms are. At the moment I am painting wooden doors. A crazy job when you are feeling dizzy and nauseuos. Ignoring it is not working so well....
I never stay in bed either. I have to distract myself.

I am also aware of my people pleasing attitudes and try to say what I men and not what i think people want to hear.
I try to live in the now, observing my surroundings, be a good listener, concentrating on what people are saying. That is a problem at the moment because of my lack of concentration.

I count to ten before having an outburst of anger. When I succeed it gives me courage and calms me down.

I know what you mean by keeping quiet is not always a good thing if you keep your anger inside but I am aware of that. Eksample: My husband is making an angry remark and I keep quiet because I know he is in a lousy mood
because he just returned from a US-trip from hell (cancellation of flights and snowstorm). He has not slept very much and for me it is not worth starting an angry discussion. So I let it go.

In spite of the above which gives me some improvement I know I have some very deep repression which I don't seem to be able to release. The daily anxiety, fear and symptoms getting worse is proof of that. I have done a lot of journaling and I know why I am so angry (things from my upbringing) but I think basically it is because I don't like myself very much and never have as I never felt I was a worthwhile person. Also I have not yet forgiven myself for things I did in the past. In my case doing affirmations like "I am a worthwhile" person would not help very much as I don't believe what I am saying. I know my view on myself is hard to turn around and it is all about not being so hard on myself and accepting myself as I am. I have read all the good advice from you and on different threats. It is my first priority as I have to live with myself every second an I think I finally deserve some love I give to myself.
So I just keep going. I guess the best thing for me to say to myself at he moment is "no matter the outcome"

 

Yes, sybilla, the word protocol is used by Americans (especially psychologists) that refers to a plan or program, such as healing TMS pain.

You know your repressed emotions come from childhood stresses and anxieties, and that's very important, to think about them and their causes, or who caused them, and then accept them and forgive. They probably left you with this inferiority. I had it, from my father always putting me down in front of his male friends while they drank beer. I don't know why, but he made fun of me and belittled me, and I was just a young preteen and then teenager who wanted to be the best kid in the world. I absolutely NEVER got into trouble. It wasn't until I was in my first year of college that we had a man-to-man
talk and finally had a mutually good regard for each other. He died within a year, but at least we got that far.

I think it left me with a sense of inferiority and I've worked hard all my life to become a success, to prove he was wrong about me. It made me
accomplish a lot, as a newspaper reporter and later an author, but I still don't think of myself as a big achiever. I am but don't think of myself that way.

The important thing is, to like ourselves and tell ourselves we did the best we could.

Maybe you could write a list of your accomplishments. You'll be surprised what a successful person you are and how "worthwhile" you are.

Cheers and happy thoughts.

Walt

 

Protocol is as Walt described above. And my way of asking for the protocol is to know your tools. like mindfulness and awareness and acceptance and are you having fun and so forth. I do this so I can know where your at so we can direct you to a better path ok, thanks....

Ignoring your tms is not going to help. When we say ignore we mean to ignore the bad emotions that go with the pain and also ignore the physical but you have to pay attention to your anger and sadness emotions because these are getting you more depressed. By facing these emotions as emotions cause you hurt and not cause of the pain in general is a good tool to know. But if your not familiar with Claire Weekes and Facing or Eugene Gendlin and Focusing then I would most defiantly start the Tms recovery program so you can understand how to feel these emotions without them making you hurt worse ok.

The lack of concentration again can be from the sadness emotion. It would be good here to know how to sense these emotions and what they feel like so you can dissolve them in time ok, thanks

This is a good tool

Naw I don't think he deserves the anger, you will always do better to journal and meditate and deep breath to release your pressures and not to get in physical arguments.

I don't believe any of us feel like we are all that great. That's why we have to practice everyday at trying to like ourselves more and be compassionate to ourselves. I always wondered if folks thought that I was just always an up-beat person and I actually have had to work hard for years to keep my hopes and thoughts up-ward. The more we can get ourselves to believe that we are worthy, the more we will get better and lose the pain.
I want to give you a thought I wrote in a thread today...

1. Watch your reactions. Often, we react to negative events in a destructive manner by criticizing ourselves and putting all the blame on ourselves, or get angry at ourselves because we weren't good enough. Lighten up on yourself. Know that in life you will have some mess ups, so give yourself a break from all the self-criticism and pressure you put on yourself so much. Life is full of moments that can set you into a downward spiral because you have been conditioned to be self-critical. Learn to recondition yourself through the law of habit and in 21 days or so, maybe even less, you can start giving your heart a break from all the self-judgmental thoughts. You’re a winner. Believe that with all your heart and be the best person you can be to yourself.
   
   God Does Not Want You To Be In Pain
   
   Eric Watson, Walter Olesky. 2014

Bless you

 

Herbie, your reply is full of good advice. Reconditioning ourselves to be kinder and gentler to ourselves
can be a wonderful habit and it may not take two weeks.

It's funny, but if I look in the mirror to shave in the morning and I frown, I look my age, almost 84.
If I smile at myself, I look like I'm 35 again.

So I wear a smile more now and like more what I see and how I feel about myself.

There's a good old song that says, "Smile, darn ya, smile!"

 

Thank you Herbie. I hope one day I will have your believes and confidence. It becomes more and more clear to me that it has to be earned through
hard work every day. Self pity, moaning and complaining is not going to work.

 

Hi, Sybilla.
Herbie said that when he had that Rocky Mountain tick bite he thought he was going to die.
It took a lot of positive thinking, he said, for him to fight back to good health.
It was all part of TMS and when he believed that, he began to heal.

He tells about it all in our new book, GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN PAIN.
From amazon.com books in paperback and Kindle. Pardon the plug.

 

sybillia, how are ya?
This sounds like a lot but its really just lots of experiences and understandings.
You can learn to be patient , relax and breathe well just like the best of us, your born with every gift you will ever need already on the inside of you.
Its all well, just enjoy every lesson you learn. It's all friends that care and we get to enjoy this time together and share our accomplishments.
Bless you

 

I love that Walt. "We recondition ourselves by being kindler and gentler to ourselves".
Thats it, that's the Golden key. Although the first lesson is to learn how reconditioning works
and that is as easy as being nice to yourself all the time. It seems impossible to some people
but its not at all, all of the great teachers of the mind know this secret. It is the number 1 rule.
Be kind to yourself. Thanks for the revision. I like your paraphrase best, I'd save that quote my friend.

Your smiles are priceless in the way they can change your day. On top of happiness they also give you more youth -- Great. In the pic above Walt if you had darker hair you would look 40-45 in it. You aren't Joking . Bless you my young friend.

Ain't this the truth. The more I can smile at others and life in General -- the better over all feeling and more vitality than I can get lifting weights.

If ya want to Start off with a Great Wake me up in the mornings. When you very first wake up, smile and say hello beautiful, its going to be a wonderful day.