My TMS Journey

Dear friends,

Whenever I have TMS symptoms manifest, my first course of action is to quickly Google whether or not my symptoms could indeed be TMS. Luckily, This forum has always shown up for me in the search engine results. I then go on to read someone's amazing, courageous experience fighting the "TMS phenomenon" and it always helps me and sends me on the right path to recovery. I would like to perhaps pay the favor forward. So here is my story....

In my experience with TMS I have had pain manifest in many different ways:

The Beginning:
Groin Pain (Due to a fractured penis) - This was probably the start of my TMS. It was a learned pain pathway that developed and stayed with me for 2 years. The Pain was horrific. I felt as though my groin was always swollen and burning. I thought at this point I was just going to be in pain forever. I wasn't able to have sex, my life seemed as though it was over. I was more depressed then I had ever been. Then one day....

Back Pain: Lower back pain began. My pain was pretty intense. I had sciatica down both legs, into both feet. I had trouble sleeping. I started having burning in both palms of my hands. Doctors and Chiropractors were saying it was a herniated disk, and that perhaps now I had developed a second herniated disk in my neck that was causing the burning palms. One interesting thing that occurred when my back pain started, the terrible horrific groin pain... WAS GONE! Kind of strange don't you think?

Again I was terrified, scared shitless by the fact I might be destined to live a life of endless chronic pain.

I had back pain for about 2 years. And then while digging and digging on the internet for herniated disk solutions I came across some kid's blog regarding his TMS experience and how he got help via Dr. Sarno. I was desperate at this point. So I went on to amazon.com read all of his reviews, and was beyond excited to try it out. I rushed over to Barnes and Nobles bought the book and finished reading it within a few hours. Perhaps it was placebo, but I literally felt my back muscles begin releasing as the book destressed me. I clung onto the book's diagnosis and I started to integrate it into my life. I would say within 2-4 weeks after 2 years of pain I was 90% better.

After my back pain had subsided I have since had different maladies pop up. In my mind these maladies, though painful at the time, are laughable when you consider what my body/mind is trying to do.

One time I thought I had hurt my shoulder. I thought I had 3rd degree shoulder separation. I couldn't get into see the doctor for another few days. So slowly but surely my shoulder got more and more painful, to the point where I couldn't lift it well. When I did finally get to go see my doctor, whom I absolutely love.. He told me "That's definitely not a shoulder separation dude, take the splint off it should be fine." I walked out of that doctors office and my shoulder was painless within 5 minutes. ALL IN MY MIND.

Next I developed gastric reflux. Reallllly bad gastric reflux. I had never experienced anything like it. I had this constant taste of metal in my mouth. I felt as though whenever I drank coffee it was causing the issue. I couldn't figure out how to treat the problem. I couldn't sleep. I was so stressed out about it. And then of course, I thought, huh maybe this is my TMS manifesting. I decided, "You know what, I'm not going to let this thing push me around." I brewed a big pot of coffee, and started eating all the things I wasn't supposed to be eating. I then stopped taking all of my antacid supplements. Guess what? Next day, gastric reflux GONE. Has never returned.

I have had carpal tunnel syndrome.... Same results, faced it, and it went away.

Recently I developed plantar fasciitis, in both feet. I've found that usually when it shows up in both appendages, its bullshit. But of course I call up a podiatrist, and I get some nice insoles, yadda yadda yadda. But then I think Jon wtf, you know this is TMS why are you playing into it? I stop treating the malady, do my TMS work, within one day... guess what? Plantar Fasciitis GONE. I barely have any pain at all in my feet after one day of doing the work.

Ive worked hard at handling TMS in my life. For me it wasn't something that I was able to face just once and have it go away. It always comes back... It's always trying to figure out the next way it's going to get me. And to be honest, I am always amazed at the clever ways it manifests itself. I've gotten used to it, and it doesn't scare me or effect me much at all these days.

Here is what I have done to work with this disease process.

First and foremost the Sarno Book- The book is the basis for understanding your problem scientifically, which is obviously very important if you are going to accept the diagnosis.

Years of TMS therapy courtesy of Derek Sapico (Awesome Guy) - Going through therapy taught me a lot about myself. It has allowed me to understand why my TMS is manifesting. For me one of the best things about having a TMS therapist is having someone to laugh at your new manifestation with you and to say, "Jon you are fine.... All TMS." Having that kind of back up is priceless.

Open Space Meditation with Ken Malloy (Pretty Phenomenal Stuff for working through pain.) This therapy was expensive. However, Ken is a great therapist. You can if you like just go online and buy the open space meditations. They are incredibly boring. But if I can remember to do these daily, they are an insanely powerful tool for handling my TMS.

Howard Schubiner's online course was also extremely helpful for me. Journaling, and digging into my thoughts to find points of trauma or pain seemed to help me a great deal.

Lately I have been exploring Eckhart Tolle which has allowed me to be in the moment and watch my pain and its processes. This has helped me a great deal in combination with open space meditation.


I think in the end guys this disease is rooted in fear and catastrophizing situations. Developing tools to manage these problems when they come along allows you to not be quite so afraid. In my experience the moment you fully confront TMS by doing something that is not safe for the physical malady that you are experiencing (i.e: jogging with back pain, walking around bare foot with plantar fasciitis, drinking coffee when you have terrible gastric reflux) and truly accept that you have TMS, the problem seems to just *POOF* go away.

Thank you Forest for creating the TMS Wiki, well done sir, what a wonderful gift you have given us!

And I wish you all the absolute best.

 

Thanks for your story.

 

Great one.. Thanks for posting your story here