Need help with anxiety

Hello everyone. Here's my current situation. Hope to get some thoughts from you all.

The last 6 weeks has been difficult with back & hip pain & extreme fatigue. The pain has made walking for too long difficult & the fatigue has me falling asleep for 8 hours during the night & 2 hours in the afternoon but still feeling tired throughout the day . As I started dealing with all this the TMS way, I started getting electric shock pains in my groin, then pain in the left foot, then in the right foot & then my knees. That's OK, we all know the pattern of the symptom imperative but the fatigue made it worse this time round.

I had stopped walking & doing my yoga but 2 weeks ago I started again & began meditating morning & evening. It felt like I was getting somewhere & then a few days ago I started getting weird anxiety symptoms - heavy feeling in chest, sighing, yawning, terrible feeling of unrest, feelings of depression & yesterday was simply awful. I took my BP coz of how I was feeling & the readings were very high like 150/ 103 consistently. This morning I went to the doctor's & it was confirmed that yes BP was high. I also have very high cholesterol, 7.3 where normal is 5 & the doctors have been insisting for the last 2 years that I start on statins but I have read about so many side effects about statins including dementia that I've been reluctant to take them. I eat well, I don't drink or smoke & try to take as much exercise as possible but it still has not reduced. Doctor says its quite possibly hereditary.

So the doctor suggested starting BP pills to see if the anxious feelings are related to the high BP I'm experiencing & in fact gave me a pill at the clinic. He did say that he didn't think that BP would cause anxiety but rather anxiety would cause BP. I do feel a slight difference in anxiety levels after taking the pill within 5 hours but BP is still a bit high at 140/88. (Placebo?)

And also my sugar levels came back slightly elevated which was never the case before.

Other things that happened in the last 8 months are sudden flashing in both eyes which is being monitored every 6 months & terrible acid reflux so bad that many time I thought I was having a heart attack.

Im 66 & so far have avoided medication. But it looks like maybe I may have to start.

Any thoughts on my situation as to what is TMS & what's not wld be much appreciated.

Thanks.

Mala

 

I think # 1 is you have to find a way to stop fearing the aging cycle and being obsessed with the physical. I know you are trying hard to overcome your fears, but most of the posts I’ve read you’ve made on this forum are very physically focused.
You’ve done great getting back to some movement! That can help mood and stress levels.
Do you journal? Has that helped you at all? Do you utilize emotional techniques for TMS? You mention you “do” TMS things but 90% of your post is medical/physical.
The fear is just another TMS symptom, and I think that is something you need to confront (see Dr. Tovahs post on a film event on fear coming June 30). You also must admit and learn to be comfortable with the fact we, as humans sometimes get physical issues and have TMS. It sucks and probably creates rage (fear is often a blanket that covers internal rage) but you can learn to deal with it and stop fearing. I find that remembering a TMS mindset can often reflect a closed and tight mind is a great start. We don’t recognize this tendency, but exploring small dietary and movement lifestyle changes may make a difference in your cholesterol. My husband’s was high but he has kept it in check for 10 years now. Low good cholesterol runs in my family but I learned how to balance it at a young age and adapted diet as I age. Instead of freaking out, feeling I am loosing out by not eating certain things, I have enjoyed my dietary lifestyle changes. Life is an adventure!
The fatigue you mentioned is probably a sign of an exhausted nervous system. It’s been on high alert for a long time, so you may need a little extra rest now. OCD like thoughts, fear, an overly worried and busy mind get your nervous system on edge!
Claire Weekes will teach you to deal with anxiety. Buy a book, refer to it frequently. So super helpful! She teaches how to recognize and deal with both anxiety symptoms (fear) and the thought patterns of anxiety. My suspicion is that you fear the sensations of anxiety and that it triggers a nervous system response, and cycles of TMS arise. You might not even notice you push these sensations away. It’s ok to feel them like an emotion because they are usually accompanied by a host of emotions (often fear covering anger. I used to find myself going “ugh! Not again!” -instead just learn to say “oh, hello again” and feel in your body all the sensations it brings.
Lastly, of course stress, fear and anxiety raise BP (as do medical issues). You’ve been freaking out for X number of years about every sensation you get. So now you get to experiment and see what helps. Maybe the combo of a pill and new techniques to calm you. You mentioned in the past you live in Asia?
Have you tried joining a Tai Chi or Qui Gong group (heck, no matter where you live!) such a fun and gentle way to deal with anxiety and stress!
Have you ever tried tapping.. EFT? There are a variety of free guided tapping techniques on YouTube. A great way to start your day!!

Lastly, go have some fun!! A great way to get your mind off your worries!

 

I think BP and cholesterol are both medical and need to be treated, but you can sometimes treat both by losing weight and exercising. Ask your doctor to give you a chance to fix these things yourself first. I’ve done that before. But, no matter what, when you apply TMS healing, it will help with a whole variety of symptoms. Just go all in with a TMS healing plan. You can’t go wrong!

 

One of our TMS personality traits is perfectionism. There is nothing wrong with taking medication. Don't read the online forums where people write about horrific side effects of different medications. Find a health care professional that you trust, and go with their recommendation. There is no need to be a purist about this. Humans live much longer than they used to, in part, thanks to medication. As the Buddhists advise, find the middle way. Continue to live a healthy lifestyle with a good diet and exercise, but use medical approaches when they make sense.

One of the difficulties of aging I find is that it is hard to figure out what is in the mind (TMS) and what is the result of normal aging. Things become more nuanced and land more in the area of shades of gray. Our work in trying to figure out our lives is never done. Until, of course, it is. Let's be grateful we're still around to ponder these things.

 

This is exactly the type of discussion @JanAtheCPA and @Nicole J. Sachs LCSW had on the Cure for Chronic Pain podcast today...medical symptoms, and TMS and dealing with anxiety and fear.

 

If it was me I wouldn't take the blood pressure medicine unless your blood pressure remains high over an extended period of time. As the doctor said, high blood pressure doesn't cause anxiety, anxiety causes high blood pressure. It would seem to me to try the reverse first and start with anxiety medication. If that reduces your blood pressure, you know your answer. I'm surprised the doctor didn't give you a Xanax, rather than a Blood Pressure medicine, unless you were in a medical crisis at the time. (?)

Mala, have you had your thyroid checked? I have high cholesterol as well all while eating relatively healthfully, being small and not overweight.
I have a feeling it's because of thyroid but haven't been re-checked in years for either the thyroid or the cholesterol. (Bad me.)
On the plus side, I found lots of research on how high cholesterol in women is protective rather than destructive. I'm hoping that's true.

 

This!

 

Claire Weekes, absolutely! And I always recommend her audio over the book. Her voice is magic.

 

@Cactusflower thx for replying. Actually am doing lots to overcome my fears.

In fact I do everything & not refrain from much. Just this year have travelled for fun to Thailand, India, Hanoi & now off to Osaka in a week. Plus all the things that I do daily with my dogs, helping with my 92 year old mom, managing my property business plus have an active social life. I also do yoga everyday. Plenty of Tai Chi here but just not my cup of tea. And I meditate.

As for TMS work, I dont journal but I write down my daily stressors & things that are bothering me. I have Sarno on audio which I'm listening to & @TG957's book which I have on kindle. Also been listening to Alan Gordon. He's got some good videos. Then I read success stories here as well. Plus I've been listening to Claire Weekes on tape too.

Here in Asia we eat very healthy. We eat copious amounts of fruit & veggies & I love cooking & experimenting. However we do also eat out a fair bit so its about balance.

Yes my nervous system is definitely in overdrive. And aging is most definitely enraging. Its about losing control & its awful for people like myself. You made some good observations. Letting go is something I really need to work on. I'm aware of my perfectionist tendencies in everything I do. I started volunteering in a dog shelter which then morphed into rescuing dogs. Now I get calls from ppl for help with all kinds of dog crises which is which is both satisfying but also enraging & often traumatic.

Dr actually gave me some Xanax yesterday but I'm awful when it comes to taking pills. Most pills I get sit in a drawer till they expire & I do realise however that with age certain medications need to be considered. I've even seen a therapist for that.

I actually have an EFT app on my phone but dont use it much.

Once again I appreciate your input.

Mala

 

Hi @Diana-M thank you. Yes I am working on losing some weight. I'm 60kgs for my 162 cm height so maybe another 4 to 5 kgs but its so darn hard at this age. I feel the cholesterol is medical since I have had it since I was in my 30's. The BP I'm hoping is something I can manage but yes both can be stress related.

Mala

 

Hi @Ellen. Hope you are well. You are absolutely right. I'm well aware that with meds it's my perfectionist tendencies as well as not wanting to give up control. It's like "I'm strong, can do this without you meds!! I don't need you"!! I actually had a few sessions with a psychologist about this & she asked me why. I told her I didn't want to get addicted. She laughed & said from what she knew of me I was the kind of personality who would probably never get addicted.

I had a father who was an alcoholic so his addiction & how it impacted our family still scares me . A middle path approach is definitely what is needed as one ages & like you said it's harder to figure out what is TMS & what isn't. I really feel that since I've learned about TMS I tend to find it sometimes difficult to discern between the two. I was with a very dear cousin in India in March - my age & saw her taking daily meds for BP, thyroid & diabetes plus more pills when she fancied something sweet to eat. She had no qualms at all. She was very surprised I didn't take anything. I actually felt quite relieved at the time & thought how lucky I was. So is a bit disconcerting to discover only 3 months later that it may be my turn now.

Thanks

Mala

 

Hi @Boobie thanks for your post. Yes I considered that. If it's the anxiety making the BP go up then getting the anxiety down would be key. The thing is that after taking only one pill yesterday, I have started feeling better. I feel that he was right in a way to give the pills since at the hospital at that time I was hypertensive. As a doctor he would make a decision based on the numbers at the time. He did also give me some Xanax but I have not taken any.

Its funny you should mention thyroid because he has included that along with liver function in the next lot of blood tests for follow up in a month.

Statins take a toll on the liver so if I'm to go the statin route then I will need regular blood work for my liver. He also said statins can cause muscle aches which I already knew. I have read about other awful side effects like dementia. Makes you wonder how such a drug can even be FDA approved but it is. I have read about the protective effects of cholesterol as well & I have avoided taking statins by having a calcium score CT every year. So far my score is 0 which means I have no calcium or plaque buildup in my heart. I am 162 com & weigh 60 kgs. Maybe losing a few Kgs would help.

Maybe time for a thyroid check for you too? Good luck.

Mala

 

@TG957. Yes I prefer listening to her books. Today I stumbled across a You tube video of someone's summary of her book Hope & Help for Your nerves in Hindi. Since I use 3 main languages in my day to day life , I thought it would be great for my brain to hear this in a language other than English. It was a very interesting experience & I think a great way to reinforce her messages in my brain.



Mala

 

@Mala

Things I notice in your replies.
“Yes, buts” everywhere. Lack of willingness to consider that what you are doing (or not doing) is not serving you.
Not discussing or mentioning emotional state beyond saying you bullet point stressors and things you are consciously angry of. TMS is not about conscious emotions. Free writing allows you to explore all your emotions, and helps you be more vulnerable, this is probably what you are avoiding.

You are constantly staying in a medical mind. Your medical status is not what this TMS forum is about. Your obsession, stuck mindset, and anxiety and feelings about it is what this forum is about. None of us are medical professionals here. Perhaps consulting a TMS Dr. who is qualified to discuss the intersection of TMS and your medical needs is the way to go. Also, hearing it from an “authority” may be far more accepting to your TMS mind. If you aren’t wanting to do that, Dr. Hanscom has some info on his blog but his interviews and podcast often discuss in more detail how the hormones created by fear, anxiety, anger, internal stress, TMS personality characteristics etc create chemicals in the body which can physically effect health. He faces these issues himself.

Frankly, it sounds like you are skirting around “the work” and are not able to accept some of the depth of the work: the stressors are about how you internally create stress - your emotional world about yourself and the openness and willingness to see that if you are continuing to have TMS symptoms (which includes anxiety), then you are doing things that aren’t serving you.
Eg. You keep very busy but your mind is still on your symptoms - so keeping busy traveling is not enough to calm the mind.
TMS personality characteristics are often play into the difficulty of opening our minds to possibilities. The “legalistic” aspect closes us off, makes us see everything in black and white, makes us defensive and somewhat closed off to change. Consider how these personality traits may be generating or contributing to your symptoms and internal emotional world. Are you allowing your body to actually experience the emotions?

Our TMS minds are only operating in protection mode, and we’ve been there for so long it can be difficult to continually do the work (which goes far beyond thinking and meditating). I often re-evaluate my “work” and wonder if I made changes in my TMS approach or mindset if I would get to a new place in life. I encourage you, once again to listen to the podcast I mention and see how, through all Jan’s physical challenges she continues to consider all the angles of doing this work and then listen to how Nicole challenges her. That challenge and those angles are the work.

 

It's challenging figuring out the best approach for sure. It sounds like yo are doing a great job balancing things.
Yes, I have a number things it's time to check but I'm too chicken.