Need Some Encouragement

Hey, Guys, just getting on here for some needed encouragement. I started medical school - osteopathic medical school, and the "structure and function" stuff is really getting to me, plus...I'm a much older student struggling to get by - these few weeks have been stress insanity. It's no wonder my TMS is killing me, but especially on these days when they re-emphasize chronic pain is a structural problem. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to other people, but ... just kinda wishing reading the Good Doctor's book would have sunk into my psyche and I'd be on top of TMS instead of it on top of me a lot sooner. It's the only thing that's given me hope to move forward, but days like these are rough......

 

BeneLog,

I'm not sure how you will reconcile what you know about TMS, with becoming an Osteopathic doctor. I had quite a few Osteopathic "adjustments" before I knew about TMS, and the emphasis was ALWAYS structural. One doctor blamed all my pain issues on having flat feet. Even though I'd had flat feet for 54 years with no back pain! None of them ever discussed emotions, my home/work life, or if I were under an unusual amount of stress. That being said, the Osteopaths were much more caring and gentle than the Orthopedists, Chiropractors, or other medical professionals that I sought treatment from. At least they really seemed to care about helping rid me of chronic pain. In the end, I stopped going because... of course...I wasn't getting any better since I didn't have a structural issue. In fact, most of the treatments made me hurt worse - which made me even more desperate.

I tend to flare when I am being inauthentic. Presenting one thing to the outside world, while feeling/believing something else on the inside. Since you believe in TMS, could it be that this internal conflict is causing your pain and not the stress of medical school?

 

I came across this article the other day on an osteopath's website, which perhaps might interest you http://www.healthpoint.net.au/how-our-emotions-affect-our-body/ (How our emotions affect our body - Healthpoint Osteopathy and Health clinic) - particularly with regard to the work of Jean-Pierre Barral, a French Osteopath, and his book called 'Understanding the Messages of your Body: How to Interpret Physical and Emotional Signals to Achieve Optimal Health' https://www.amazon.com/Understandin...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1533319162&sr=1-1 (which I've not read, so you'd need to see what you think of his techniques/methods re treating chronic pain). Maybe it would be a question of doing your training and then, once qualified, combining mind/body approaches in the treatment of your chronic pain patients when you can 'do your own thing' in private practice. I think that HattieNC makes a good point about internal conflict causing pain...If it were me training to be an osteopath I would need to believe (and have evidence of) it at least working for acute conditions/pain to be able to stay the course and finish the training and have my heart in the work. Personally, I've never felt any benefit from osteopathic treatment; I had some success with pain relief with chiropractic treatment, but those benefits were only ever temporary.

 

Thank you, everyone. I went to have an osteopathic treatment the other day. I appreciate what they're trying to do so much, but I was kind of irate that they even mentioned the fact that I have to "strengthen my core" and do physical therapy. The treatment was so gentle and fragile as if I would break. Needless to say, I was hurting after. I went in not expecting it to help - more than anything, I am doing the treatment to prove that it won't work, and that it IS all psychologically related. But in saying that, since I am an osteopathic medical student, I am on a journey to go against the grade and see where it errs and where it can be improved for things non-chronic related. I love how the profession does give inclusion for the mind, but I think they unknowingly place the bulk of their beliefs in structure. It drives me insane. If I'm just a little asymmetrical, something's wrong with me, surely! Everyone is broken, then...

@HattieNC yes, I believe you're right. I am probably suppressing anger during my osteopathic treatments and education. It really does get to me that they go on and on about how this little discrepancy will hurt, and that little discrepancy will blow out of proportion. But I agree, they are MUCH more caring than some MDs (not to hate on the MDs out there!)

@BloodMoon thank you!! I appreciate this. I do believe it can assist in acute pain. And, yes, after my treatment with them, I noticed I was hurting more. The funny thing is, they were treating me like glass after they saw my MRI report, which was so mild it was scoff-able. I threw caution to the wind after reading Sarno's book and got my functional life back. Yes, I'm still hurting, but to pot with silly PT that never made me feel better and only made me feel worse. Also, if I truly was fragile, then all the crazy running and lifting and falling six feet off a bridge would SURELY be proof positive that I have "weak" SI joint ligaments. It's so ... bogus.

That said, I have noticed increased pain during test stress and no pain when I am extremely happy to be with family one weekends.....

 

Hey, All,

Just thought I'd update a bit and reach out for any positive thoughts - I finished my first semester of med school! Very happy about that. Osteopathic principles aren't killing me, but they certainly don't always jive with me. I'm kind of wallowing at the moment having started back up again. I guess the stress of a new semester is hitting me hard - that and I hurt myself skiing 3 weeks ago - I flipped over someone. Apparently, I separated my ribs (a break from the cartilage that holds them in place). I've also new incidence of neck pain (never had before) in my levator scapulae. This is a killer, plus new incidences of pain - I woke up with my thumb feeling like I tore something (in my sleep?) and a sprain in my wrist (also woke up with this). I'm like - c'mon, I'm only 32. This is ridiculous. Since I AM in Osteopathic school, I talked to one of the practitioners, and he said my neck is bc I badly rotated myself when I fell - I'm not sure I believe him (still trying to find that fine line between Osteopathy and TMS), but I definitely feel worse today. I want to believe all this is TMS. I just wish it'd go away already - it seems like I keep adding to the list of problems without getting rid of others. I'm going to be bedridden here soon if all this doesn't stop......

 

Hi Benelog,

Welcome to the forums, i'm sorry you've been in so much pain! I understand being in DO school and having a tough time reconciling your TMS knowledge. I'm a PT and have made pretty good peace with it all, with a fairly solid understanding of how to separate out TMS from structural issues, if you ever want to chat. You pointed out that you did have an actual injury when you flipped- but the other pains were pretty spontaneous, which points to TMS for those. TMS has a snowball effect sometimes- one thing happens, then everything else cascades in and you feel like you're falling apart! I felt this way before I discovered that my pain was TMS too.

 

I tend to flare when I am being inauthentic. Presenting one thing to the outside world, while feeling/believing something else on the inside.

thank you for that insight @HattieNC - that statement has my name written all over it. must be the goodest in me - want everyone to think that i'm the happiest coolest kid on the block while inside i'm struggling. fake it till ya make it. keep pushing. if you smile long enough you'll start to feel better. these are mantras of mine and may be contributing to my TMS pain.

I'm gonna struggle for authenticity this morning.
THANK YOU

 

@MindBodyPT I'd love to chat!!

I've been writing my thoughts and feelings down more these days. I know I'm incredibly stressed. In a way, we were warned how difficult re-starting school would be after vacation, but you don't realize it till you're in the midst of it. We're in an accelerated program too, so it's quite the ride.

 

Message me any time! Health professions school tends to be very stressful, in PT school I was always stressed out as well. It's hard to avoid.