new symptoms causing distress: MGD/blepharitis/dry eye

Hello everyone,

I am not new to having mindbody sensations...I've experienced dizziness since 2011 after a somewhat minor car accident when I was 18. I learned about the mindbody explanation for my sensations in 2018 maybe, haven't kept track. While this information has greatly reduced my fear of the dizziness, I still experience it 24/7 to this day.

Despite all the symptoms I've experienced since then, I've never reached out and made a post like this anywhere. I'm very confused by what has happened to me very suddenly and wanted to run it by other people to get more perspective.

I know I need to make a better commitment to calming my nervous system down. I tend to just barrel through my days. I was gaining further TMS knowledge leading up to this summer, while simultaneously working on a graphic design portfolio, so I could start a job search and finally put my graphic design degree to use. I was excited to stop putting off life due to my dizziness and get out there more.

During the summer I also started a topical prescription retinoid (tretinoin) to help with some skin issues. I used it 2-3 times a week for five or six weeks. Looking back, I really didn't need it, and I deeply regret using it.

Here is the cascade of events that started early July:

1. I had some pain in my right eye, not knowing a stye was incoming (I've never had a stye before)
2. I mistakenly tried dyeing the ends of my eyelashes (stupid I know). While doing it, I panicked, thinking I was going to go blind, wiped it off and began flushing my eyes with water
3. Eyes feel a little funny after flushing them
4. Stye fully comes in. I research styes and find out retinoids can cause them.
5. Do further research, and find out some people have developed debilitating dry eye from using topical retinoids. I (surprise, surprise) panic some more and stop using the retinoid.
6. Somewhere in here I notice my mouth is also dry. I also have a lot of postnasal drip issues so my mouth would sometimes feel dry from that. But I'm noticing my mouth is dry more consistently. My brain gave me the fun thought that this was because I put my night guard in my mouth at night with tretinoin still on my fingers.
My lips also feel dry with some tingling.
7. I'm doing warm compresses to heal the stye. Started doing them with rice in a clean (but used) sock. Which was maybe another mistake, but I don't know.
8. Eyelids start swelling up, into what I now know is blepharitis.
9. Start getting chalazions, one every month since this started around my period.

I made an appointment with an optometrist, and while waiting for this appointment, I realized all the stress that was in my life when this all started, with the job stuff, and of course, all the panic spiraling. And how it didn't really make sense that my dry eye got worse once I stopped tretinoin, when a lot of those that got dry eyes from it got better once they stopped. So I thought maybe it was another symptom caused by my heightened nervous system, like my dizziness. I felt a little better about it and was able to get through a work day without crying. I figure I will go to my appointment and the doctor will say she can't find anything wrong, just like every doctor told me in regards to my dizziness.

Time for the appointment and I'm told my eyes are "super dry", and since my mouth is also dry I may have an autoimmune disease (bloodwork says that I do not thankfully). But basically this was not what I was expecting at all to hear, so it was quite distressing. I've since seen an ophthalmologist and am on prescription drops, and am doing some light therapy with gland expression, and nothing is helping. The whole "not responding to treatment" thing is reminding me of my dizziness journey also.

I wish this were mindbody, even though I haven't had success with my other symptoms, but I really feel like this is a structural thing since this seems to be happening to other people who have used tretinoin as well. There isn't a lot of actual research in regards to topical tretinoin causing dry eyes. Can side effects like this spread through suggestion alone? I know your nervous system can affect tear production, but I don't know if it can affect the oil glands in your eyes. I'm so confused. Any thoughts are appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

 

Oh also: at my second ophthalmologist appointment after using the prescription drops, my "tear score" improved, though I felt no difference in symptoms. And the eye that feels drier consistently has better tear/inflammation readings than my other eye. Just some interesting contradictory info..

Other mindbody symptoms I currently have or have experienced: dizziness (brain fog, out-of-body feeling, spinning/rocking), tinnitus (mild enough that I don't hear it often), hyperhidrosis (able to manage it with iontophoresis), urinary frequency (I still pee quite a lot, but I used to feel like I had to go urgently with nothing in my bladder).

After finding out I needed to test for Sjogren's syndrome (the aforementioned autoimmune disease), I started getting an itching sensation in my vaginal area (since the disease can cause dryness there). I knew this was nonsense though and shook it off. Also in the middle of this, I got intense back pain, I could hardly bend (which I don't really understand because I was already so distracted by my eyes). Pain symptoms don't phase me though and I'm able to shake them off easily. Those symptoms along with some knee pain at work are the short-lived symptoms I've been able to let go. The non-pain symptoms strike more fear and seem to stick around.

I know dry eye is a gray area, and a lot of posts about it haven't gotten responses, and I suppose this one won't either, but I was feeling so lost and wanted to reach out.

 

Hello @bgonne
You will find many people distressed with dry eye on this forum.
Some will recognize it as a TMS condition, some just try to “ignore” it. Ignoring “it” is how TMS makes its inroads. I have dry eye. It has never consciously distressed me. I asked a neuro optometrist about it, because I read it is hard to pinpoint the exact cause of mechanism, and there are a wide variety of treatments.
First, she said that it is becoming more common in younger adults, and they think it has to do with staring, unblinking at screens (or other eye work) - this staring possibly has roots in stress. I related this to thoughts about work and ourselves and also how being busy and working doesn’t allow our minds to focus on simply being or feeling in our bodies: processing emotions.
Her most common suggestions for treatment are 1) looking away from screens every 10 minutes or so. 2) take short work breaks several times a day (some TMS coaches suggest doing this to check in with your emotions) 3) oily eye drops every few hours until symptoms get more comfortable. 4) daily quiet time with a warm moist heat (mask) over eyes -quiet calming space where you clear your mind and just be with yourself 5) stop worrying! It is treatable, not necessarily permanent and simply is your body asking for some ease and self-care

These are suggestions with no hard or fast rules, do what works for you. She said sometimes they work -but patients who are very worried or focused on the symptoms struggle more.

You are beginning to realize that TMS is a means of communication in our bodies when we aren’t listening to our inner most selves. “Shaking it off” works ok for some people, but many folks need to do deeper work; address any trauma, recognize we often push our emotions away, don’t take time to relax and be in the moment - simply enjoy life, recognize that our subconscious minds may be holding on to anger, hurt, resentment, sadness.
The Structured Education Program can help you explore skills that help you with these things at tmswiki.org (scroll down page).
I would also suggest if you are googling symptoms and giving them names based on what you read, to stop. They become part of our false belief systems.

 

Thank you, @Cactusflower! I really appreciate your response.

I'm sure screen time doesn't help my eyes. Over the years, I've sat at the computer to try to distract myself from symptoms. I definitely need more balance when it comes to screens, social media, etc. I'm not in my body at all while I'm on screens, and that's an issue for sure. I'm also an artist and like to read, so I feel like I do a lot of focus-based activities. But I'll try to be easy on myself and take more breaks.

Thanks again for the reassuring reply!

 

And do the work! A few breaks d as mc less screen time are tips, they are not the way to deal with TMS!

“You are beginning to realize that TMS is a means of communication in our bodies when we aren’t listening to our inner most selves. “Shaking it off” works ok for some people, but many folks need to do deeper work; address any trauma, recognize we often push our emotions away, don’t take time to relax and be in the moment - simply enjoy life, recognize that our subconscious minds may be holding on to anger, hurt, resentment, sadness.
The Structured Education Program can help you explore skills that help you with these things at tmswiki.org (scroll down page).
I would also suggest if you are googling symptoms and giving them names based on what you read, to stop. They become part of our false belief systems.”

 

yes of course! I definitely will.

 

Hello I was wondering if you’ve found any relief for your dry eye symptoms by now, I’ve also been suffering with this for a while now

 

I started having this all of the sudden after gaming (despite gaming for months beforehand with no issues), and since then it flared up and can't look at screens anymore

I do have long covid/dysautonomia/POTS so that affects my eyes since day 1 (constant redness), so I doubt eye issues will vanish until my nervous system is back to normal