Note To Dr. Schubiner

Dr. Schubiner

On page 45 of your book in a section titled “The Role of Conscience” you briefly discuss the internal child/parent roles. You seem to be suggesting that Mind/Body disorder patients grow up with an overbearing parent (conscience) and that the inner parent is the source of shame – guilt – humiliation - self criticism – need to be liked – perfectionism and low self esteem....and other internal discords.

Do I understand that us with MBD have this part of the personality in too much control and perhaps constant finger pointing at the child – if so that could really piss a child off with resulting anger.

My mother was from the south and they had a saying to keep children under control: “Don’t Be Ugly.” My father also had one: “Hands in pockets – don’t touch – be seen and not heard” when we were in stores or in social situations.

I would like to see more devoted to this concept – as I get in touch more with my little boy he is not happy about much I have compelled him to do in my life.

I sense the parent is the harsh taskmaster and in alignment with our culture that we have to accomplish and do...do...do rather than just be.

An old friend at Stanford University and one of the world’s foremost authorities on stress ( Dr. Robert Sapoksky) once told me: “Human neurology is designed to not have a human move faster than they can run (sensory overload), eat – sleep - eliminate and have sex.....everything else is stress.”

So it would seem that our childhood wounds have created an inner parent that is overbearing and all my child wants to do is have some good feelings, fun and build a sandcastle. He could give a damn about if I am accomplishing anything or if my weeds are pulled.

I can certainly see how a constant “parent” in my child's face with prattling finger pointing will make my child very angry. It could also reduce the whole persons ability to accomplish real things to care for the child...having a constant judge looking over your shoulder would cause anyone to falter and become stuck in self-questioning.

****So my question is: do we with MBD have an over developed and dominant inner parent?