Nuggets from God Does Not Want You To Be In Pain

I have totally and thoroughly enjoyed reading Walt and Eric's book God Does Not Want You To Be In Pain and am now rereading it.
There were two things that just struck me between the eyes. One was a question posed about being calm. How often do you allow yourself to feel calm? It made me stop and think and I realized that I needed to cultivate and develop a sense of calm for myself. After so many consecutive years of family loss and care taking, I feel like that switch for calmness got covered up. I understand how deeply I need that to experience calm - just like the experience of trust in order to recover from TMS.
The other statement had to do with being a goodist. Eric framed it as being seen as weak by those who press upon our boundaries. I know he wasn't saying it in a way that shows the other person being conscious of their actions and doing it on purpose. The real motivation for taking on that sense of being weak was to show where I can grow and develop. All of a sudden, my focus LEFT about how the other person takes advantage of me, my resentment of not being appreciated to a place of "Oh! I can do something about this." And ever since I read that one little sentence, I have been miraculously able to throw up boundaries and say no - standing my ground. Not in a reactive way but in a stance that is strong and powerful. These situations where I over do and take on other people's responsibilities are completely tied to the TMS flareups.
Cool stuff. Thanks Eric and Walt!!

 

Thanks so much for the good words about our book. Eric's computer is down so I'll share this with him when
it's up again.

Yes, cultivating ways to be calm can be so helpful. It helps to do deep breathing and think of tranquil places
like I do when I remember peaceful wilderness canoe trips in Minnesota and Canada, away from the noise and
fast pace of life today.

And it's wonderful that you have found a new way to handle your goodism. Just say no when people want to
eat you alive. I did that recently to a cousin and also a neighbor, both of them taking advantage of my good nature.
As Shakespeare said in Hamlet, "To thine own self be true" and it follows that you cannot be false to any man.

Have a great holiday today.

 

Thank you nowtimecoach, I am so glad you found those nuggets, got the knowledge and applied it. The whole time I was writing the book I was doing it in a meditative state. Like letting spirit flow. I have recently been listening to conversations with god by Neal Donald Walsh and he talks about an experience like you had.
You are coming into a higher awareness of your unconscious. Soon, you will have more and more of these nuggets.
Yes the Goodist frame -- You are right on nowtimecoach -- You are right on..... And the calm, being in the calm is where our power comes from and you sure used it to your benefit, I am so excited for you my friend.
Bless You

PS - I will add some nugget's here too as time goes by, I know there are lots there and this thread will help benefit us all.

 

My nugget for today is this sentence found on page 54 "If a person has survived the TMS war, they learn to live again." That is so true for me because I am dismantling so many conditioned beliefs and habits that have been in the way of experiencing spontaneous joy. It really isn't about the pain in the body but more about these thoughts that create anxiety and pressure for me, whether they are conscious or subconscious. TMS recovery is about getting into the moment, cultivating hope and a belief that All Is Well. That to me, to learning how to live.
I keep bumping up against an inability to describe my TMS recovery to friends as it seems so huge and life changing - I don't really know how to put it into a soundbite. At this point, I'm relying on my actions to tell the story and to gently let people know that they don't have to "worry about my back" getting hurt - that there is nothing structurally wrong with me. Then they look at me like a puzzled dog, cocking their head to the side and say "Whaatttt?" I hope as I continue on this journey I will find more ways to spread the word and help others who are suffering find relief. At least on this forum, people are already in the belief mode!

 

I get the same deaf ear and "dog gaze" from people I tell about TMS. It's too foreign for them. They think only medication and surgery can
cure their pain. I know from their personalities and early years that their pain is TMS, but maybe a lot of people are afraid to go there.

Hopefully, they eventually will try it.

 

You are now the light shining and in the time of need, all will look to you for advice. You are now going to continue to see truths that will only but amaze you my friend.
You will become the best at what your heart desires -- yet it's hard to explain now, daily it will come to you. Your higher levels of vibration will draw to you that you seek.
Bless You

 

There are so many points in this book, that I keep going back and rereading because it sinks in a different way every time.
p. 70 "Our battles are issues, almost always anger or anxiety and usually both. We are usually running or trying to forget these dreadful, hurtful and negative thoughts. But we have to face them, change them and accept them. Then think of the best outcome for the issue at hand and stop trying to forget about it....its called suppression and that's the sum total of why we're hurting. We need to use awareness as in mindfulness with our stressors and catch them before they catch us."
I feel like I'm still in the process of 'feeling the anxiety or anger.' Its a good thing when I notice that I'm in a bad mood - usually have some pain going on... and then be able to face, acknowledge that there is something going on. Its one of those things that sound so simple but its not easy. It does require lots and lots of mindfulness to catch myself in the stress producing thoughts (which are so horribly habitual, its insane!) then acknowledge, change of accept whats going on. I feel like I am a baby at experiencing the FEELING of acceptance. I've had it a couple of times and there is great peace that accompanies the feeling. At least I know what I'm aiming for!

 

ohhhh, I love this, You keep at it nowtimecoach and you will master this. I still use mindfulness everyday to catch these stressors but I do it in love... The difference between now and 18 months ago is this "I walk in mindfulness and love now"
I can honestly say as soon as some self conscious thought like fear, anxiety, anger or stress arises I immediately know it and at that exact time I will change the meaning I am giving this fear, Right then I will give myself - self compassion, and by that I mean i'll let that stress go by not identifying with it any longer or if its in my body i'll feel the feeling as strong as I can and then i'll focus my thoughts on higher ground, like a picture of Jesus or my Mother or my Son and soon this calming feeling will happen within seconds. All of this takes me a total of about 15 seconds now to where in the past I would struggle all day, you need not struggle all day, stay in the law of love and Just learn to stop identifying yourself with your anxiety. Be in flow -- face it, feel it, release it but don't identify yourself to it. It's an illusion that only you give power to when you ponder in fear often unconsciously.
Through the law of love and habit you will do great and break this sensitized conditioning nowtimecoach. Your right at the time in your recovery that I was when I conditioned myself to know how to do this by habit. Keep those nuggets coming, by finding them you are winning the unseen battle.
Let me say it in another way, when you feel fear don't think of it as an error in your thinking thus giving it power. Think of this time as the time to focus on love that in which will cast out fear.
See we believe we cannot control these issues that we ourselves created by our own thoughts and your belief in it seems to render it out of control. Don't study on mastering your fears, just be at one with love and love will make fear obsolete.
Awesome, Bless You.

 

"Let me say it in another way, when you feel fear don't think of it as an error in your thinking thus giving it power. Think of this time as the time to focus on love that in which will cast out fear."
Thank you so much for your response and encouragement Herbie! I just did a run where I was battling with the tms pain and then I backed it up to the place where I recognized that I needed to say to myself "I forgive myself for not letting this go." And everything softened up. My personality trait of perfectionism steps in the way of going to a Higher and more loving power than I am able to generate from my own little mind. When I acknowledged the need to be forgiven, I could feel the compassion rush in.
I also appreciate you telling me "Your right at the time in your recovery that I was when I conditioned myself to know how to do this by habit." I so look forward to being better at all this AND I'm incredibly grateful to be learning so much!!

 

This post is such a helpful read for me this morning.

I am beginning to see that the anxiety/anger/pressure comes first, before the pain arrives. I am barely just getting a millisecond glimpse, as awareness flickers up from the depths. I love the reminder that TMS recovery is about getting into the moment. ANY recovery is about getting into the moment and I needed to read this today. It's the hardest thing for me to bring myself into the moment. Sometimes I think that the anxiety/anger/pressure is like a drug and I am drawn to it. Stability boredom is something I recognized in myself and so the calmness that I do sometimes allow myself to sit in, is short-lived because its not what I am used to and I can stir it up in order to feel the familiarity of drama (anxiety/anger/pressure). Does this make sense?

I found this so helpful to read and it gives me so much hope as I continue my TMS recovery journey. This also goes back to being in the moment. For in order to recognize when I am in in fear, anxiety, anger or under pressure, I need to recognize it. My usual tactic is to dive into a work or home project, or worry and obsess about stuff in order to avoid these feelings. Focus on a higher ground. I love it.

Thank you.

 

It's definitely a learning process and conditioning ourselves to live in the moment and when anxiety or fear hits us, to tell ourselves that there is really no reason for those thoughts. We need to forgive ourselves for feeling anxious, worrying or fearing, then go on to other thoughts and activities.

 

kindlethelight, you have put the teaching in an awesome way so you can grasp it's meaning -- you most assuredly have the tools now, it's all making sense to you so you can let it sink in more and more now. The reconditioning will happen much quicker for you now that you are understanding the concepts. This is such a beautiful day my friends. Thank you all for lighting it up. Awesome

 

One of the first visualizations recommended in this book. I'm going to start doing it today. Thought others might like to use the directions also.
From page 28:
"Here is the visualization I discovered that got me back on my road to recovery.
Skill is needed to attain and hold a healing, so the sooner you learn to affirm and visualize while under meditation, the better. We develop skills over weeks and weeks of practice.

One of my favorite skills is using affirmations and visualizations mixed with meditation. This takes approximately 15 to 20 minutes

1. Start with the affirmation, “I forgive and let go easily. It helps to forgive myself and others.”
Repeat 3 times.
2. After you start to feel forgiveness and the releasing of tension from your body, then say “I’m calm, relaxed, patient and confident.”
Repeat 3 times.
This will help you to calm down inner tension and is highly effective.

3. Count from ten to one into a relaxed calm meditation. Wait and feel the relaxing as it moves through your body to each number.
Ten - “My mind is relaxed.”
Nine - “My head is relaxed."
Eight - “My face is relaxed"
Seven - "My neck is relaxed.”
Six - “My back is relaxed.” Feel your back as it relaxes.
Now as your head, mind, neck and back relax, move to
Five - “Now my chest is relaxing in harmony.”
Four - “I am relaxed from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and through my toes.”
Three - “I am relaxed from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and through my toes.”
Two - “I am relaxed from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and through my toes.”
One - “I’m totally relaxed now and in complete control.”

Now imagine yourself being immersed in a white light that is covering you with calmness. In an instant, the white light becomes white silk linen. Let it flow over your body, feel the silk linen as it touches your skin, so soft. Feel complete calmness and relaxation as the silk sheet covers your body in complete healing light flowing throughout and letting any excess tension flow away.

As the white silk linen flows against your skin, feel the healing white light continue to flow through your body, and then the linen dissolving into healing liquid throughout your body.

Repeat to yourself, “I am completely healed from all pain or anxiety and I am made whole and complete.”
Imagine the painful area in your body healing with the healing white light aglow over your image of the painful area.
See and feel the full healing of every part of your back, knees and neck and the full healing of your heart and mind to optimal performance.
See the area heal in your mind’s eye and feel the warm healing liquid flowing into every part of your body.

Now count from one to five for the wake-up.
One - "I’m becoming fully awake.”
Two - "I’m seeing my surroundings.
Three - "I’m more awake and full of energy now.
Four - "My mind is fully awake and I am alert.
Five - "I’m awake and fully alert, ready to take on my day…

 

Great post, Molly, and reminder about Herbie's terrific techniques for visualization.

Erik posted today about his need to calm his nervous system, and I will reply with
your post.

Also, today I am going to spend some time reading the Kindle edition of
Christoper Germer's book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion and afterward
comment on it in the forum.

Then the rest of the day will be to remember why we observe the 4th of July
and that it has more to do than cookouts and fireworks.

Hope you have a happy holiday.

 

very helpful