Pain is too severe

How to maintain TMS practice when pain is severe most of time. I fully believe that my symptoms are related to repressed emotions. But Pain is so severe that I am almost bed ridden for most of days of months. I can't even put my thoughts(necessary for journalling) clearly due to mental fog and unmanageable pain. No painkillers even touch the surface of my symptoms. I haven't tried opioids as pain killer because its accessibility is almost impossible in my country(India) due to too heavy govt regulations.
I am getting hopeless day by day. Suicidal thoughts are bombarding my consciousness persistently.

I need some encouragement and advice on how to get out this invisible hell.

 

I believe the suicidal thoughts are simply your brain screaming for you to take care of your emotional side.
It is very hard, but you must stop giving the pain so much power. It is temporary. Sometimes symptoms get worse before better. Do your journalling and meditation.
I watched this the other day, it might help you become more open to other aspects you need to heal. They must be done with your heart!
Dr. Schecter has good words for those finding it hard to make a way through this:

He mentions his own publications, they are similar to the SEP. Did you do the SEP all the way through? The brain fog is resistance. Your brain is trying to protect you. Do the journal anyway, everyday. Teach your brain it is safe tell yourself those words.

You can do this, but you need to see the message of hope, and freedom from the mental suffering is the goal of TMS work. Being pain free usually comes later. It is hard, you must begin to slowly be more comfortable with the hard things your brain is afraid of -gently, slowly, to dial down fear and begin to be able to do the work. Meditation can help you be softer.
The Insite timer app is free, has thousands of free guided meditations and music. Loving kindness, acceptance, yoga nidra, somatic tracking.. lots there. I edited this, I confused you with someone else, I am sorry.

 

If you are feeling suicidal, here is a list of help lines in India: https://findahelpline.com/in/topics/suicidal-thoughts (Find A Helpline | Free emotional support in 130+ countries)