Pelvic Pain disorder

Hello I am 28 years old guy who is been suffering from pelvic pain since march 2022.
The pain started after my mother and my girlfriend argued about work issues ( my parents own a restaurant and my gf was working there). They fired my girlfriend and after 3 days my girlfriend broke up with me since she doesn't want nothing from my family anymore.
My father died when I was 3 years old and I always had a troubled relationship with my mother. She's been working 50+ hours every week and was never present in my life. ( She loves more her fuck*** restaurant than me)
Me and my mother argued about a month ago and we haven't been talking since , so now it's me against the world.

It's been a really stressful year :
I bought a house and nearly got scammed by the construction company which I am sueing them at the moment, my job is been very demanding in the last months and the broke up with my gf devasted me.

I find very difficult not obsessing about my simptons all day long even if the pain/discomfort is mild.

Unfortunately I spent a long time on Dr.Google auto-diagnosing my self which increased my anxiety to unbearable levels.

I got checked by 3 urologyst and 1 PT and I have no infection and no structural issues.

I read Dr Sarno books and the Great Pain deception about a month ago and psychologically I feel better since now I have hope the pain will go away when I'll be ready, but the simptons a the moment remain.
In the morning I feel really hopeless when the symptoms strike ( as soon as I remember about my condition).
When I manage to focus 100% my mind on some activity my simptons disappear until I remember about my condition.

I haven't done much journaling and meditation since I think it focuses my mind on the problem, I am going to a psychologist every week though.

I've set a short term goal ( working out 4 times a week to get in better physical shape) and a long term goal ( I want to change my career since it is not fulfilling and want to learn programming). I am trying to focus my time off on these goals and It's helpful.

It's really hard not obsessing about my symptoms since I am a perfectionist , goodist and obsessive thinker.
I know it's TMS because the pain is illogic

It moves from the urethra, to the testicles,to the the groin and the pelvic area. Plus when I have an erection the pain disappeares since the blood flow is increased.

I don't know if I should try to talk with my mother but she doesn't understand my problem and I fear she would making me feel worse.
I know I need to accept I have no structural issue and forget about pelvic pain to heal. I am slowly overcoming fear by sticking to my goals and doing any activity I have fear for.
I stopped smoking weed ( been smoking everyday in the last 10 years) since it was increasing my anxiety, and I am really happy of that since now I am working out and studying instead of smoking on the couch after work like I used to. I think I am on the right path to heal.

In the past two years I had different TMS manifestations:
Eczema skin rush, urticaria , cardiac extrasystole, digestive problems , strong anxiety, persistent cough but since the pelvic pain started they are all gone.

I would love to connect with someone who overcame pelvic pain using Sarno approach to boost my confidence.


My English is not very good since I am from Europe. Thanks for your time reading this.

 

I totally relate to what you’re talking about here~ I too have only very recently been living through very similar pelvic discomforts that I am convinced are TMS and although I have an appointment with a urologist just to double check stuff , I’m already fully prepared to simply use TMS healing protocols to resolve this.
For me, fist and foremost is radically honest journaling. secondly, i make time for deep relaxation meditations on youtube like Yoga Nidra. I find messages that tell me i am safe in my body.
it’s a drag having to go through pelvic pain and penis, testicle issues but it’s a classic place for TMS to strike because it’s such a vulnerable spot.
good luck to you~ i hope to hear how you’re progressing.

 

Hi Dimitry, sorry to hear you are going through some difficult times.
Two things stand out from your post:


1) I got checked by 3 urologyst and 1 PT and I have no infection and no structural issues.

Great! This is very good news. This means that there is nothing to worry about and that you are safe.

2) I haven't done much journaling and meditation since I think it focuses my mind on the problem,

I don't know about the meditation part but for writing it should be the exact opposite. INSTEAD of focusing on the problem, you focus on various emotions, stuff that happened in the past, things that hurt you or made you feel bad. Anything BUT the symptoms.
If you mean that you don't want to journal because you don't want to think about those bad things that is exactly why you SHOULD write about them.
When your mind tells you, "don't write about those problems. you don't want to think about those problems" it's trying to protect you (stop you) from getting to the emotions that you need to accept, understand and release.

Try not to fear writing about the past bad stuff. You don't have to jump into the heaviest stuff right right away. Get a pen and paper and just write. Write anything. Maybe start by simply writing, "Why don't I want to journal? What am I afraid might happen?...." And then keep writing. write, write, and more write.

Once you get comfortable with what kind of writing works for you, you'll start to feel a release. Your physical symptoms will start to go away without you even noticing it.

 

I suffered from testicle and groin pain for almost a year chronically. I feel your pain, its a rough one. It sounds like you are on the right path though. After the doctor wanted me to go into surgery and remove my epididymis from my testicle, I fully accepted the pain as TMS since it was my last hope to avoid surgery (thank God, because I would have had a surgical procedure that would have reduced my chances of having kids for no reason).

You have a lot of painful emotions that your mind is trying to distract you from. Have you considered talking things out with a therapist?