rant

Just need to offload. Sciatica playing up - possible reason:
Father just had heart surgery which was needed so that he could undertake bowel cancer surgery.
Family tensions
Starting new job next month
Doing Phd studies.
Past few months at current job very toxic environment

After visiting father before heart surgery came back constipated and thought I, like he, had bowel cancer. All better now.

But now have chest infection - irritating cough which is adding to me current tensions because I think I could be fatal. Since fathers bowel cancer surgery he now has had a heart attack and pneumonia - feels like my symptoms mirror his.

I am over the constant worry. Just sick of it. I have a phobia about doctors. I am having to do a nine hour drive tomorrow to see my father in hospital. Just feel the universe is fucking me over.

 

Yeah Karl,
Sometimes I get the same feeling! I hope you can hold yourself lovingly and know that none of this is your fault, and that it is truly hard for you.
Your understanding of the elements of stress in your life right now penetrates the TMS and unravels the symptoms. You know the cause of your symptoms. This in itself is so powerful! And it does not make it any easier to be you right now.
Andy B

 

Fair play Karl.
Sometimes we need to offload and if we can't do that here then where can we?

This sh*tstorm will pass. Life will get better. Meantime take care of yourself and make sure you have a kick-ass playlist to soothe the long ride.

Healing Blessings to your father.
Peaceful Blessings to you.

Plum x

 

Thank you both for your kind feedback. Just scared at the moment. There's good stuff going on but this seems to be overshadowed and countered by the negative stuff. But will start to be less angry and more positive.

 

You have a lot of toxic stuff going on. Your symptoms do seem to mirror your father's current struggles. Hang in there. Your body is giving you a big kick in the backside right now. It sounds like TMS is the correct 'diagnosis' for you. Drive safely.
Kindly
Lainey

 

Thank you. It has certainly shaken me uo.

 

Just checking in on you. All ok?

How is your father?

 

He's doing much better and out of critical care. We drove back yesterday. A few tensions with siblings but otherwise ok. My chest infection comes and goes. Have taken ibuprofen which helps but rather wouldn't. Eating lots of garlic, ginger and chillies as a natural remedy. Thanks for asking