Realization

Just had a bit of a realization today. Was doing some guitar practice. Working on my shred picking. Found myself telling myself your wasting your time with this stuff! Get on with some real music practice learn more chords scales theory etc or practice it properly with a metronome. Then I began a little argument with myself trying to justify what i was doing. I figured out fairly quickly there was no need to argue with myself so I let the voices subside although. I was also found myself worrying about why can't I release these emotions. By the end of my practice i was feeling entirely exhausted but I really wanted to stay awake so I decided to do some exercise and that bought my energy up. To cut to the chase later on in the night i came back to practice with the sudden realization that PAIN IS NOT MY ENEMY and that in fact I don't have any enemies and that there is no need to worry about the pain because its just my brain doing weird stuff. So although I already knew this I had never thought about it the way I did tonight. I was still tight during the practice but it didn't matter and in no way does it make me a lesser guitarist (although i do feel that way sometimes).

 

Edward, shred picking is real music practice. Do what you love. The world has enough technicians when it needs artists. Maybe your internal battle rests a little more on self-expression than shoulds or oughts. Let yourself fly. Let your fingers do weird stuff. The brain will catch-up. Seriously honey, I've lost count of the gorgeous souls who allow doubt or censor to change their course. I include myself in that bunch of outliers. It's due to our sensitivity and a wish to capture and communicate a different world. It can drive you nuts before you yield. Give yourself to the Muse and leave dots and timings to their own devices. You can always embrace them from the otherside.

 

Thankyou so much for your encouragement plum. Shredding is pretty much all I ever wanted to do! Thanks

 

I recognize this. I have a keyboard and a drum kit that I can only play the bare minimum on. I let the perfectionist and worrier inside me withhold me from playing. You're right, it should be about expressing yourself, enjoying the activity instead of hating the fact that you can't play that break that looks so easy on youtube or that you will never be a Bach or Beethoven. Focus on the playing, not on the result.... unless you are my direct neighbour of course

 

I wish I knew how to play the guitar or piano. All I can play is the phonograph.
I love music, but just never stuck with piano lessons. I can plunk out a tune with one finger
but that's about all. I envy you folks who can play any musical instrument.

I remember when I was a teenager we had a player piano but it went bust so I just played
the keyboard with one finger or two. A policeman who lived across the street said he always
enjoyed hearing me "play the piano" because it soothed him. So I guess we don't have to be very
good on the guitar or piano to give ourselves and others pleasure.

 

Walt you're a gem, I haven't heard the word phonograph in a long time. I hope you are well.

Pain is not the enemy. If we take an adversarial position against it, the mind stays divided. Love your enemy, or as Thich Nhat Hanh would say, "if you feel your back in pain, send it your love." The TMS is demanding attention. Something inside is not where the deeper self wants to be. So in order to cope through the day, the pain serves to distract us from what we don't like, and also to send a message of deep discontent.

Pay less attention to the body and more attention to the mind. From talking to so many people through the years it's almost always the anger of aging, and of the current demands placed on them. They feel stuck in midlife, unable to move forward, lost in emptiness.

There's much to learn. Most people don't want to hear about TMS, but those who do will heal. But they need to let go of attachments. This can be difficult.

Steve

 

Sometimes I still call the refrigerator an "ice box."
We had one when I was growing up and one of my chores was emptying the water pan under the box
before it spilled over onto the kitchen floor. It was the first thing I did when I came home from a movie double feature.

Ah, the good old days.

 

Definitely know what you mean about focus more on mind less on body. Was doing a bit of gat practice just before and my thoughts were rolling all over the place and I couldn't keep up with them although I was trying. My pain was going spasmo. Then some how I managed to gather my thoughts put them in the background ( well still acknowledging them). I was able to concentrate on playing guitar . Also about having attachments. There are definitely things I want in life I'm attached to the idea of being able to do this and that so i set out to achieve these goals. Sometimes I will experience guilt because there will be a voice in my head saying hey your just doing this to get an ego boost etc this isn't helping you grow etc. But I try to set these voices aside (still acknowledging they are there) otherwise I would never be able to do what I wanted to do. You know what i mean?

 

Yep the hardest thing is to play in front of guys who are more skilled then you. Cause you feel some how not good enough to play in front of them. Some how your jams suck well they are around. That's when I let that worrier/ perfectionist take full control. Right now there's a voice in my head saying your dick for only talking about yourself and offering no one support!

 

Don't worry Edward, don't worry. Thinking that dick thought is already prove that you are a good person. You'll give support when you're ready for it, don't feel pressured. Posting this by the way is also a form of support for a lot of readers that you aren't even aware of. For example, I didn't realize this about myself before you posted this.

 

Epic thats so good to hear. Yeah the thought popped into my head so I just acknowledged it. I know I'm not a dick lol!