relapse of back pain

Hello, I’m new to this site. I am a hard working teacher, a very over stressed woman that developed crippling back ache in my 60's. I had been going to therapy, neurologists, etc., for years it was so bad at the end I could not walk down the hall at work. A co-worker gave me a copy of Dr. Sarno's book and said it had healed him, I was a bit doubtful, but desperate and as I started reading it made sense. The topping on the cake was when the best neurologist in the county told me yes, my back was a mess, part of aging, and actually the side that didn't hurt had more dings and danges than the side that did - he said he wouldn't know where to begin with surgery. Once I heard that it was confirmed. Then one day the pain started getting better and it wasn't long before it was totally gone! I was amazed and thrilled. It's been two years, then suddenly I woke up 4 days ago and it was back with a vengeance, going down my right hip and leg (and even includes the upper trapezius on the LEFT side!) I sit here afraid to walk to the kitchen, it is agony. I went to the gym and did what I could, not my usual read Dr. Sarno’s book on the exercise bike. I am so down, tried over and over talking to myself and telling me it is TMS, there is nothing physically wrong with me. So far it is just getting worse. I'm retiring in June, my very well educated and helpful son has been job hunting for a while now, so I know I'm worried about money. I keep repeating out loud all the nasty things I could be repressing, so far it's not working. It started Tuesday when I woke up and this is saturday, so it's been only 5 days. Any help/suggestions will be so welcomed and gratefully received. Sarnofan

PS I also have had gradually worsening foot/leg neuropathy, diagnosed idiopathic, since I left my old town and moved to my current location (11 years)

 

Hello Sarnofan,
Like you, I have healed in the past, but am now struggling. I am aware of many things that stress me, or create conflict, but the biggy right now is my estranged father's impending death. This is demanding some attention.

Are you aware of any new stress, or perhaps you are bothered by retirement, not just financial, but how you will occupy yourself? Will you have to move? Wish to move?

I think I worry more than I am aware about my adult children. It was my job for so long to take care of them. Now your son is looking for work as an adult, rather than an after school job.

The other day I read an old post by Andy B and he said he said to himself, of course I am in pain, I am prone to TMS, this is normal for me. When I read that I felt relief wash over me. So much fear and dread disappeared. I hope you can find relief here. It has only been a few days, relax into TMS techniques. You, and I, will be fine! In fact, we're fine now, we have our minds communicating through our bodies, an amazing insight. Most people don't know about this!

Hugs,
Lizzy

 

Gotta be the retirement, your son and finances etc. Same thing happened to me when I was in the throws of retirement, stress at work, finances, and moving. The pain was unbelievable. Don't have surgery !! You've proved already you don't need it. Start journalling. Don't get suckered into anymore responsibilities at work like training other teachers to do any of your "other " work responsibilities. I am with Lizzy...it will go away. It's probably the stress of retirement, but make sure you get checked out like Dr. Sarno would want you to do.

 

Hi everyone xox My note will be brief, as suddenly...as of two weeks ago...a relapse so severe, that i cannot sit down so typing standing up.
Hi friends. I accepted all i learned about TMS since i educated myself , after wrong diagnosis from doctors and debilitating pain for two years.
I have had almost a year free of it. worked hard and diligently to get there and was overjoyed.
it's back with a vengeance, i even understand WHY it's returned and this time it's all 'nerve pain', and i have no respite from it , hollering in agony, suddenly stuck indoors, agony to lie in any position, sit, stand. Shocking....So , i am someone who does not want to take medication, HOWEVER right now
even though is no answer to anything causing this debilitating pain i want to ask you all:
would you know of ANY relief in the way of nerve med or natural remedy? To get a bit of rest from this..to sleep..to have the resources to
keep at it and heal once again, this time on an even deeper level, was i see what i have been running from and it's old. xoxo
this time no choice but t0 face it head on. I' m a counsellor and so grateful i have the wisdom to know how to deal with most all these emotions, mind sets, etc.
This time, i am worn out and needing some input.
love to you all,
be well, and hopeful
AND FREE!

 

Just read your post and I am with you (Sarnofan) see above. Such agony, I can't stand up in my classroom. Just watched a cool utube session with Steve Ozanich and recommend you watch it. I talk to myself, journaling was recommended. I beat it once, I can beat it again. So can you. Keep me posted, I'll do the same. prayer helps too.

 

I am so grateful for your thinking of me. I know retirement and fear of funds is on the list. Nice to have this place where people can share and connect. I will try the journaling! Thank you so much.

 

Lizzy, let's keep up the good vibes. I am POSITIVE I'll throw this off, but will try to keep my consciousness off PAIN and into other things that distract me (positive ones). I walk and talk and tell my brain stuff it, there's noting wrong. I must myself really believe it - Jesus did much of the same - your faith has saved you (this is not a religious lecture by the way, not my style). Thanks for your heartfelt concern Lizzy

 

Hi everyone , took this long to reply as nerve pain has become so intense and now relentless. Though I practice being indifferent to it, it’s quite impossible. Can no longer stand for more than a few moments, getting into the bed and then finding any way to lie down takes over an hour. This relapse occurred a month ago. Way worse than four years ago. I understand why and I know how to focus on what I was feeling so stuck with before this sudden shattering of nervous system and unbearable pain. Yet I am seemingly locked into feeling squeeezed. Burning as if an inferno within. Body cramped in agony (no nice way to describe this) and often I hear myself saying I just want out!!! I cannot imagine how a stronger more determined person than myself. Could possibly walk through this as I fall down. And body inoperable. When this happened four years ago. It rendered me bedridden for almost two yrs. I understood dr Sarno, s Ozanich and wonderful Alan Gordon and readily put all I now new into work. I healed the pain. Was active after such a nightmarish lengthy hiatus from life. I feel that was letting go of pain when I knew nothing that sowed I scans was related to the pain. And now. With this debilitating last four weeks where I feel I am too weary to keep this up, I believe it’s all about healing what brought on protective pain to begin with. I see what it is protecting me from, just as panic attacks did many decades back. All the same. So panic became the focus. Now agonizing pain. I don’t know why, this time, I cannot be “authentically indifferent” to this level of pai that has me going inch by inch, along the bed, gasping in pain unable to barely move. How????? Desperate? Yes most definitely. I stay off drugs and there seems to b little to help with intense neuropathic pain. Yet if there IS anything to give relief I will try it. Please excuse typos. Not used to tiny format on phone. As yet unable to sit at computer without locking into shocking pain that squeezes the breath out of me. TMS work along with work in regulating the nervous system. Is truly indispensable. I find myself in a hellish stuck place that isn’t able to fall in line from all TMS I have done before, successfully. Not like me to send in SUCH a lengthy blab. Thank you kindly for reading through. Any suggestions so welcomed. Xxxxxxx all the best

 

I am also very reluctant to taking drugs but the recent increase in my pain has forced me to start amitriptyline which is basically a nerve drug (originally used as anti depressant in higher doses) that is mean to down regulate the nerve signals. I’m just taking a very low dose and hoping it gets me more mobile so I can focus on a real recovery and not just pain.

 

I feel your pain on ur relapse.
I was fine for about 7 months after reading dr. Sarnos books and out of now where 3 weeks ago I had a relapse to the point where my body was crooked and had debilitating low back pain. Luckily
I found this site and reading every ones stories and improvements has helped me a lot. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there because I can tell you that after 3 weeks I’m feeling better and I even beat fear today by going on a 3 mile run. Take that low back pain!
Hope you heal fats . Good luck on your journey.