Reoccurring Cycle Of you Know What

I first discovered this forum many moons ago and was elated to see the outpouring of pertinent information and support provided within this site. I'm finally posting again out of huge frustrations and anger towards my circumstance. I've mead huge leaps and bounds over the years and have been able to but my TMS at bay for the most part but it still manages to make unwanted appearances 2-3 x's annually and manages to rock my boat every time for approximately a week or so. Every occurrence is so intense and discomforting it throughs me into despair questioning and doubting modes. THE dreaded what ifs and oh f*&%$@'s of here we go again as the body takes control and distracts me to no end. I try to implement the TMS strategies and utilize knowledge but the intensity seems to prevail and take center stage for awhile. Eventually things settle down and I get back to my normal but the encounters seem to have a lasting impact on my psyche as I'm so grateful to be out of dread that I just get back to business and chalk up my recovery to approximately 90% of TMS knowledge leaving just enough doubt for the back p%&n to creep back in again; at least this is my theory for the reoccurrence's.

I am currently in the throws of a reoccurrence/relapse and this one is really throwing me as it seems to be correlated with a gym workout session with weights. I just recently joined the gym and added weight lifting machines into my routine. I regularly cycle on my gravel bike, and attend spin and yoga classes without incident. In the past I wasn't able to pinpoint any specific incident that would trigger my "Banana Splits" , but this time I have a guilty party to blame (the weights) and I'm back to the guessing game and wondering if there is somethign actually structurally wrong with me as I am thinking I overdid it or used the wrong muscles, lifted incorrectly and now I AM PAYING THE PRICE.I KNOW THT THIS WAY OF THINKING IS UNPRODUCTIVE AND counter productive to TMS recovery and in putting the bananas back on the shelf where they belong. So my question is, does anyone have a similar scenery or advice on how to commit to 100% TMS diagnosis when one gets heavily triggered and is in intense P%$n, especially when the occurrence seemingly coincides with heavy lifting.
Many Thanks and praises in advance to this wonderful Community. KMac

 

Hello!
Relapses are very common, especially pre and post holiday it seems.
Dr. Sarno suggests you think psychologically -this would be both around your pain but also in life in general.
How or what do you think about (or avoid) that causes you inner stress or tension. Sarno discusses the mixture between our personality and emotion.
Anger/rage, sadness, grief which tend to be distracted by fear.
With whom do you place your personal power? Do you exert it or give it away?
How do you speak to your inner self? Some have success by being commanding, but most find softening to their harsh inner critic is more effective, softening yet at the same time taking the reins of your brain and telling it you are fine, and slowly getting back to what you love.. if you really love working out (another great self-question)

 

There is no Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or 'incorrect way to lift'. There. I said it.

Losing The Easter Bunny was easy.. I didn't really want a 6' rabbit in my house anyways, But Santa Claus sucked...I was only like 6 or 7 and my Dad had just died when my Brother told me. What a dick, huh?

But the 'incorrect way to lift' myth really hung in there...after all DOCTORS believe in it, there are little diagrams all over my work place, and when you go to a chiro's office they have all of those little models.
Then little by little after recovering from TMS and finding Sarno was right about virtually everything, I finally started catching myself waiting for someone to come down the chimney....AHH. It was my Belief system!

Dusty cobwebs of fear...conditioning. As the years went by and I was (and am still) lifting things all day long every day, heavy ladders, dragging jack hammers out of ditches and generally never giving a single thought to 'how I am lifting' . This is IN SPITE of being told 25 years ago by the Doctors who "believe" that according to their Math and Geometry I would never work physically again, I can , with a clean conscience tell everybody....there is NO correct or incorrect way to lift!

So, now that we've ruled that out....it's Either ANGER or Conditioning....or a messy combination of both. That is where all TMS comes from. Sarno once said (paraphrased) "when someone tells me they are having trouble accepting the diagnosis, I have an impression they are having a tough time letting go of the resistance to the repressed feelings"

Anger...search,,,get angry a lot about things that maybe ought to only be a little. Rage. Break shit. Scream. Get pissed. Think, Think , think.... EVERY time I have had a relapse it was always something hiding in plain site...and almost always about responsibility, taking care of myself,(economically...not hippy BS) OR...drumroll...Personal Relationships. The women I have been married to and dated...even after they are gone. Mortality. Getting Old, Not being as good as I used to be...etc.etc.
Virtually every guy I have ever worked with who is 'stuck' has at least One really bad relationship he can't let go of....bad marriage, Mommy issues,etc.

anyways...The best way to 'prove it' is to do it and it works. Guaran-f-n-teed

PS if there was an 'incorrect way to lift' Santa would be FwK'd, huh?

 

Hello Desert Flower,

Many thanks for your kind response....I appreciate you reminding me to go inwardly and take inventory of my current circumstances and to be gentle with myself, as anger feels powerful and immediate but in the long run causes more harm than healing. I think I've been spending my personal power versus investing it personally. Thanks for the reminders as I tend to forget how paramount the psychological component is!

 

Howdy Grand Poobah, Thank you for your diatribe debunking the Hollidaze! I almost did not respond for fear you you informing me that there might not exist a tooth Fairy! We as an American society are spoon fed a lot of myths both physical and mental an these get engrained and soiled into our psyche and then they become hard to delete or erase. I believe that TMS falls into this category as the physical is the obvious and presents itself in a plethora of symptoms when the mind runs amuck and creates disarray. I've been on this roller-coaster ride of Tom Foolery for close to 20 years and still struggle to comprehend and fully commit to the mental emotional connection notion as the decoys/physical symptoms seem to be persistent and awfully good at disguises. I would say that I still get hung up when a setback occurs an just try to ride them out instead of conducting introspect of inner mental dissection. I have engrained the visual f you dragging ur arse with a Jackhammer in tow through ditches and that resonates as I know that we as humans are capable of heavy feats and usually do not rise to our full capacity. Currently I'm having a hard time of jumping from my right to left brain or vice versus as I'm hung up on the details and not allowing creativity and compassion to flow freely. Anyhow , I really appreciate your off beat humor approach to this whole TMS business.