Reunion with my inner child

Something interesting happened last weekend. I signed up for a 3-hour meditation class. Going in, I did not expect myself to last past first hour. Me pre-Sarno would suffer after first 30 minutes.

Well, I loved every minute of it! Followed by a very relaxing, slow rest of the weekend, with a long swim, yoga and heavenly concert, it seem to have turned the tide.

I went to work today, expecting for my symptoms to rise , as usual, by 5 pm.

Instead, I had a reunion with my inner child, right there, in the office. In all honesty, my super-cautious inner adult found her a bit.... unhinged. She (child) responded to the email from the client emotionally (nothing bad, but way too fast) and hit the 'Send' button without thinking, stating something that was not quite accurate.

My inner adult habitually went into anxiety mode, but then, to my total surprise, did not get mad and did not go on a bullying rant to remind the child that what the heck was she doing in the office and that she can't embarrass herself in front of her reports (ccc-ed on that email). She said: "heh, no damage was really done, she (child) figured out how to recover - let her be!". And then we (child, adult and myself) meditated right there in the office for a few minutes, acknowledged our feelings and moved on!

On the way from work we (adult mainly) let the child loose. She marveled at blooming trees and flowers, was given OK to buy a silly board game for the family party next weekend, and just felt very joyful (when was it last time - years ago?).

Whey, the symptoms are down about 20% and the mood is up by 40%!!!

 

Isn't it wonderful when we can find a way to turn off the panic button and sit in a place of witness. Then we can hear what is happening inside and take necessary action. Give the little parts what they need to relax. More and more I realize how unnecessary my own perfectionism is. It is ok to make mistakes. I can live in a way that is aware and calm and go forth.

I do not need pain to distract me. I am able to witness my feelings and listen to my heart.

I too am so loving to swim~~~!!!

LL

 

So awesome!