Sad and frustrated- joint pain, peripheral neuropathy symptoms, trauma, anxiety

Sigh. I just feel like it will be helpful to get this out. I am really struggling.

A bit of history- several years ago after coming off of an SSRI and finding out some really bad news, I developed in motion dizziness ( MDDS) for three years straight. It was horrendous. I still get bouts of it along with bppv. I started tackling it as a TMS issue, and using somatic tracking. It has lessened GREATLY.

Now my new symptoms started as a mild buzzing in my right leg when I walked. This progressed to tingling in my right hand, then all over horrible joint pain,especially in my knees and hands, but it is also in my elbows, neck, shoulders, back, hips. I hurt all over. Now after a long walk on halloween my stupid feet are buzzing like there are cell phones in there.

I also have terrible coccyx pain that started about a year ago. MRI and pT and such. still here.

I recently had an MRI to rule out MS, and blood work came back today. All normal labs for Rhematoid arthritis, and inflammation, and b12. I have a nerve conduction study mid month to see if I have neuropathy.

Starting in 2019 I went through YEARS of very traumatic things. The stress gave me erosive gastritis. It is still ongoing a bit, and I am full of so many emotions because of it. This is something that majority of people would thankfully never have to deal with, but its horrible. I know I have repressed emotions, I cant even remember many of the days from the thick of it. I just cant get past it fully yet.

I hope this is TMS, I am not fully convinced yet, but hopefully after the nerve test I will with certainty say it is. I am about 85% sure now. This just sucks Thanks for listening

 

Hi @Lilybluerose
This certainly sounds like it could be tms I mean the “buzzing” and tingling in extremities and coccyx pain makes no sense together.. and the fact medical tests are all clear.
What it does sound like, is that you have emotional issues that need to be dealt with. We can often be so disconnected from our bodies (yet not feel that way with TMS because of the physical pain) we have no idea we are. It’s our baseline of “normal” this disconnect - we don’t even know how others can feel so in tune and effortless with their bodies because it is so foreign to us. The body reflects the mind. They are one.
You mentioned doing some somatic tracking, which is a handy tool to help us fear the sensations of the body less. But what if the lack of safety in the body is generated elsewhere?
How do we go from this disregulation: all these symptoms of a nervous system on heightened alert to a calmer state?
You may need to send messages of safety throughout your life - all aspects. By doing the work Dr. Sarno outlined which is to begin recognizing your stressors both externally but more importantly internally generated. By exploring the limiting beliefs our brain is convinced is truth but is not, by finding ways like somatic tracking, maybe meditation or being immersed in nature or through conscious breathing that calm the nervous system. We need to fully understand that our preoccupation with these sensations is a defense mechanism to blot out what our brain is perceiving that can go beyond immediate symptoms. By being engrossed in dealing with doctors, tests etc your brain avoids dealing with the real issues behind tms.
You once experienced the beginnings, the start of seeing how one tms tool can make a difference to the physical symptoms. How would it feel to have that impact on your emotional symptoms?
Committing to doing “the work” thoroughly, even before 100% convincing yourself it’s all tms can be a start to feeling better. It’s hard, but aren’t you worth it?
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)

 

I've been doing the one program with a lot of success for my dizziness now gonna really dive in to the journaling aspect !

 

Ty for the replies !

 

This is such a great report. Nice job!! Keep at it.

And, don't be shy about your successes. Feel free to report there here often.
You're helping yourself and helping others who need that nudge of seeing someone else overcome their pain.

 

@Lilybluerose Great advice above. I would add in to practice appreciating and loving your body again. I used to say stuff to myself like "my stupid feet."

Then, I began to actually treat my body like a pal and say "thanks for carrying me, having strong hands, for walking where I need to go, etc." I know it's a bit cheesy, but it's self kindness.

It also really helped me to face symptoms by saying, "I am 100% willing to believe that this is psychological." That way your brain won't argue about it. It just opens the door to letting the pain pathways in your brain begin to relax and then change.

 

Ty I will try these suggestions! I am just having a hard time wondering if this is a long covid thing, as this started a couple of months post covid, or that it is something to do with my back or spine, or missed MS, and part of me so badly wants to ask for more testing, but I really am trying to hold off. Its just such bizarre symptoms Some days they are barely there or gone though!