saving someone from back surgery

A close friend a nurse by profession, has been sold the bill of goods claiming all the disc pathology that requires surgery. She is a vigorous woman who has many athletic hobbies etc. The back Doc has already suggested she find an easier job and don't expect to ride your motorcycle again and all the other stuff you do must be curtailed. Extreme right!? I try to encourage her to pursue orher ideas TMS being numero uno. Even though she never heard of TMS and explaining this to a nurse is harder than to a lay person.

This angers her as she has all kinds of proof she needs to stop her lifestyle. Look at these MRI's and failing at PT. She always told me to get shots in my back. I never have and said they are temporary. Looks like I was right.

I'm wondering if there is a diplomatic way of reaching out to her. I'm a tms type and have made great strides and I am noticeably affected, she looks 100% fine is just in pain but moves well. Really gets upset about this other approach, would love to convince her of the 'great pain deception' she's buying into hook line and sinker. So far she has tried everything. Maybe she has other psychology that has her ok with all of this as she excepts it without a fight. Secondary gain perhaps? Forgot to mention she has all the markers of the tms personality.

Either way tonight I'm loaning her Ozanich's book hope she reads it.

This is specific about one friend but people argue with me about this approach (TMS) constantly and I don't always have the right answers. As an example you (meaning me) are doing better than the last time we saw you but you should get your hips replaced back operated on etc .etc. anyway "cause we just did. Shut up already or how does one shut up all the doubters. I think they make one's (TMS) condition worse by making you doubt it. I can't lie and say that I'm perfect maybe I never will be. I took a long time to get severe tms and am willing to take as long as I need to heal. Just want to shut up the detractors. Can anything switch their doubts to encouragement?


I think these 2 points are connected in a crazy sorta way.
Barry

 

It is really hard to get people to accept the idea of TMS. I belong to a fibromyalgia support group. I constantly try to call attention to TMS theories, but most of the people on the site just get offended. I have gotten through to a few and that was worth the effort. The average person doesn't warm up to these ideas. It is frustrating.

I think you are doing the best you can by offering books to read. They will either be interested or not.

 

Also, just a thought. If someone is considering back surgery, you might want suggest a book called "Back in Control" by Dr. David Hanscom. He is an orthopedic surgeon and a fan of TMS. He had it himself. IT might get through coming from an orthopedic surgeon. This worked once for me when I recommended the book to a person who was considering back surgery. After reading this book, she did not have surgery. All the other books are good too, but this one gets right to your friend's issues.

 

Sadly, there is nothing we can really do to convince someone they have TMS. They have to be ready to see it for themselves! Oh the times I heard someone say to me "but my pain is real". Yeah, thanks. So what was mine?!? Sure felt real to me!

Those who are trained medically I think are even more difficult to get through to.

 

Thank you all for the well thought out responses

Will send my friend the Dr. Hanscom book thanks chickenbone.

 

Good luck, Barry. I hope your friend realizes that back surgery in general does not usually have good outcomes. This is why Dr. Hanscom wrote the book. People consider this a quick fix and it often acts as a placebo for a short time after the surgery. Then the problems tend to return worse than before. Dr. Hanscom tries to discourage people from having surgery for lower back pain when there is no clear problem that is known to cause pain, which is most of the time. Even his patients that do have back surgery are required to go through a course of TMS awareness for the "mind induced pain" that gets layered on.