setback after 2 1/2 month painfree

Hi all,
I haven't written in months because I was experiencing a long painfree period. This was the first time in over 2 years I was w/o pain. I originally had pelvic/vulvar pain so clothing and sitting were awful.

Using a combination of methods: Weekes/Sarno (mostly Weekes) I began to realize how much fear was
Driving my symptoms. I was slowly desentizing my CNS and healing. I quickly got back into fitness and was running, adding squats, lunges, wearing whatever I wanted and sitting for hours. It's funny tho, I was still depressed. I thought I would be overjoyed when the pain left but I still felt empty. I think I am
Still healing emotionally as well.

The reason for the post is I have found myself in a flare or setback. I know it started because of a period of negative thoughts and fears. I guess I am looking for some support
that this is part of the recovery. I look at recovery as more of a remission of symptoms rather than a permanent cure. I know I need to do what I did before to get back to where I was. I would like to hear others with a similar recovery.

Thank you!!
Xo
julie

 

I recovered from severe back pain through TMS healing techniques and believing 100 percent that my back ache was from repressed emotions
going back to my boyhood and they were not structural.

But at times the back pain returns and I believe that happens when I let things trouble or worry me. When that happens, I go back to the
TMS healing basics... deep breathing, living in the present and not worrying about the future, and keeping positive that what is troubling me
and giving me pain will pass. Nothing is forever except a dog's love.

We may not experience a permanent complete cure from TMS pain. I look upon TMS not as a cure but as a journey,
to understanding myself and others better, and thinking well of myself. I am not perfect but a pretty good guy.

You will feel better if you remember that you did heal and will again. That will drive away the doubts and fears and negative thoughts.

Think positive, do things that make you feel good and lift your spirits. Don't forget about the benefits of LAUGHING,
and if you can't laugh, just SMILE because that also makes us feel better.

 

Your symptoms exist due to depression, if you never dealt with that then the door is always open for TMS. TMS exists to divert your mind's eye awareness from the depression. The TMS rises and falls as the need to keep you from sensing loneliness exists. Your brain does you a favor by giving you pain because you fear the emptiness and isolation that depression provides. If you began a series of exercises they could have provided you temporary diversion toward the acts and away from your body.

Also, don't under-estimate the symbolism of your pain. Your mind's eye is directed at a body area for a reason. And don't forget abut SAD, it seems to pop up at this time every year.

By believing that recovery is more of a remission than a cure, you leave open the door for all possibilities to return. Close that door. Healing can be permanent, but also contingent.

As long as you're trying to heal your body, your symptoms will re-occur because it's not about healing. With TMS, your body is fine, normal, there's nothing to heal. It's about taking away the necessity of your symptom. In your case, that means dealing with the depression.

Work only on the depression, nothing else. TMS is not a way to deal with pain.

You'll be ok, in the end... healing with depression is surrendering to what already is. Stop fighting for what you wanted and begin living in the moment with great joy with what you have.

Good luck Julie

 

Thanks for the replies Steve and Walt. I agree with you Steve that the depression is the main issue otherwise it would have left with the pain.

I lost my pilates business due to the pain and I believe that is why I am dealing with depression. It was a huge part of my identity. Starting my own business was a huge step for me. I am now starting a new venture and that brings on a whole set of new fears.


When I used the word healing it was directed more toward my central nervous system not specifically the area. I do understand and agree that the area is not injured. I feel the area involved brings me a lot of fear and stress because it impacts me on all levels especially fitness. I am once again hypervigilant and on alert to my pelvis.

I appreciate your response Steve. Thanks fortaking the time to post.
Xo
julie

 

Hi Julie,
I'm so glad you posted, throwing out a request for support. For me that has been the best healing salve - the support of the forum - people who know the journey. You seem to have a good grasp on the trickery of TMS - taking the time to be kind and compassionate with yourself and the changes that are up for you. Loss and grief were the big packing items for the TMS I had. Steve gave me great advice in the midst of it - Time - it was going to take time to process the grief. And it did but I kept journalling and trying to drill down into the feelings I didn't want to experience. The more I surrendered, the better I felt.
Keep us posted!
Molly