Derek S. Should I vent or reign in anger?

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Question

I have had chronic back pain for the past year. I have zeroed in to 2 major causes ... Looking after my 94-year old mother (walk her to the toilet day and night), and dealing with an elder sister and brother who have totally decided to put as many spikes in the wheel as they can, while being being blissfully unaware of the damage done.
For the past two days, I have begun to vent out and get angry.

Now, before this the pain had got much better.

So the question ... should I let it vent, or should I keep it cool and merely try to reign in my anger, realizing what the problem is.

Thanks for any answers.

 

Answer

Thanks for your question.

It sounds like you are dealing with a great number of everyday stressors and emotional triggers. Your insight into the cause of your pain is valuable but your self care is going to be crucial during this difficult time.

Regarding your question about venting or keeping cool, I think that you can actually do both. Venting your anger onto other people tends to cause more tension and duress. Instead of allowing these emotions to become destructive, work on making them productive in a contained way.

Here is a link to a previous question in which I address how to practice feeling emotions like anger and sadness in a safe, private, and productive way. Processing emotions like is is a skill and it takes practice. If it feels awkward or forced at first, keep working on it and it will become more intuitive to you. If you are feeling stuck, work with a TMS therapist to help to guide you through the process.

Good luck and I wish you all the best!

-Derek

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