Sitting pain

I can't seem to over come this sitting pain.
As soon as I sit my buttocks ache like I've been sitting so long and it hurts and it burns.
I've stopped using my tens machine. I just sit and tell myself I can sit there's nothing wrong but it's not changing. And it gets more and more unbearable until I have to move.
I wish I could use the method ozanich used but I don't understand really how his concept worked and I don't know how I'm going to get over this sitting pain.
Please help me with ideas of what to do.
I cant find anyone else who has the same symptom either just for moral support so I know it can be done.
It seems like something no one else has or had.
I don't know where to go from here.
I've been doing the journalling. Telling myself I'm safe. I've read the books. I just don't know what to do about this sitting pain

 

Time, patience.
You need to let go of the self pressure, desperation and worry.
And then, you need to read Dr. Sarno again.
It can take several readings because it's not just reading, it's getting it to sink in deep down in your brain. And if you are still in the "I just don't know what to do about the pain" mode, then most likely, the idea that this is a psychologically generated pain is still not quite fully accepted in your mind. That can take some people time.
Get the idea of doing it as Ozanich did out of your mind. On this forum, he himself has said he doesn't recommend the method for anyone, and felt that it did help him with sitting pain, but it probably held him back in other areas of his recovery. Why? Because he was focusing on challenging the physical aspects of his recovery. The book also talks about his trying a similar method with golfing, and how it took him a long time to accomplish managing to leave the driving range without immense pain.
What he didn't recognize during this time was the depth of his anger and resentment. He knew it existed, yet he couldn't quite accept that it was there, and accept that it didn't make him a lesser person for it existing. When he began to accept all the psychological stuff, and realize how much pressure he'd put on himself (and was putting on himself to recover) and how the person he showed the world was different than the person he was inside then he began to be able to live life more fully, without so much worry about his physical pain, it began to melt away. His mind could relax.
But it took him time, and lots of patience for himself to find the way.

People are so used to everything being immediately available for them today. Push a button and food comes to your door in an hour. In 5 minutes you can have a car at your door to take you to wherever you want....that's now how recovery works for most people, but our minds have just learned that's the speed at which today's world travels.
You need to let that go. Let the timeline go. Let the desperation go. How?
Use Claire Weekes methods.
That's how you get through all the mind stuff, with Claire Weekes.
The desperation, worry, hurry, fear etc. is all anxiety
But you can't just speed through reading the book. You read a few pages a day, slowly and really listen to what she is saying. Begin putting those few pages into action. When you can do what she says, read a few more pages and add to what you already know.
Pretty soon it's totally ingrained.

We've pointed out LOTS of success stories of glute pain, but you refuse to see yourself in their similar symptoms so you doubt. Doubt won't set you free, and it will keep you from feeling safe. Let it go, because it's not truth. The truth is that glute pain is extremely common.

Keep journaling for a max of 20 mins a day. Don't write about your pain, write about one topic from the list you created based on Dr. Sarno's writings (or by doing the free Structured Education Program which might benefit you greatly) then sit and digest what you wrote (without reading any of it) - be with it, feel it if you can and know it's all OK to spill your guts. Then tear it up and toss it.
If you aren't sure about Sarno's topic lists, go back and read about them.

The healing comes when your mind can begin to let go of the internal stress it generates, and when you nervous system can let go of the high alert situation it's been stuck in, and can begin to flow through all it's states.

On top of reading and implementing Claire Weekes, you may need to add something that helps you seperate yourself from all the stuff going on in your head. This separation can help you begin to recognize that not all thoughts are truth. 90% of our thoughts are utter useless bull-crap. Learning to meditate, doing qui-gong or tai-chi, going for walks etc. are all great ways to begin disengaging from all this stuff in the mind and learning to focus on what truly is in the moment.

 

I've read Claire weeks before and that other book dare.
I've read sarno and several others several times.
I understand there's nothing wrong with me it's my brain but I cant seem to make any changes.
I've been doing the journalling. I go for walks. I can't really meditate as i canr concentrate through the pain. I do deep breathing etc.
I'm not choosing not to see myself in those other stories it's just that I've not seen anyone see they say there backside dies like mine does and burns. Most people with sit pain can't sit cos it hurts their back.
I'm just not understanding how I stop the conditioned response.

 

If you have read Claire Weekes, are you implementing her strategies? Did you read her slowly and work towards her suggestions, or do you find yourself plowing through the books looking for immediate answers?
Honestly, it sounds a lot like the latter, and this is often normal for people with TMS. It is hard for your anxiety brain to slow down and stop doing it's constant scanning for both danger, and for answers to immediately "fix" what is "wrong".
The glute pain is NOT what is wrong, and no, you aren't quite fully understanding and absorbing that there is "nothing wrong" and your brain is proving it constantly. Having the information and getting your brain to click on to a completely different method of operating is two different things.
You are resisting.
Many people have trouble shifting into being able to mediate. Walking is good, and it's the perfect time to use Claire Weekes strategies. I still use them. There are many other means. Your mind will resist, but the way to break these kinds of mind patterns is to refuse to let them bring you down.
I began mediation by laying for 1-3 minutes and just congratulating myself for taking the time to do this for myself. My mind whirled but I'd just constantly re-direct it to my breath for 3 minutes...in about 2-3 weeks of doing this daily I could manage to listen to a guided meditation for 5-10 minutes with constant re-direction of my thoughts to the meditation. I find doing body scans helpful for a busy mind because they provide constant direction. I noticed that in about 3 minutes I'd begin to get restless, my nose would itch, I'd "need" to use the bathroom and learned to laugh at this resistance. I just kept meditation. This is exactly what meditation is! It's not perfect, the mind whirls because it's what the mind does - the constant re-direction IS the meditation until the mind settles, even a bit. You are in the process of training the mind, it's not an exercise in perfection - it's an exercise in accepting the imperfect. This is how you train the mind to accept whatever is currently happening: the physical sensations, the emotions, anything at all and all the things your brain normally pushes away and refuses to want to feel OR in the case of physical sensations hyper focuses on. You don't need to meditate, but that's exactly how one begins to slow the mind.
You learn to stop striving, and this begins to prepare you for breaking your conditioned response.
BUT
It's more than that.
If you have this supreme kind of anxiety, striving and forcing, the rushing and perfection, the difficulty with emotions and accepting the possibility that you have unrecognized internal anger and resentment. Focus then these are areas you need to work on as well as breaking the conditioned response.
SLOW DOWN
Stop worrying about comparing yourself to anyone else and begin to see where in life you always compare yourselves to others and see how that is holding you back - there's a surefire thing to create inner angst!
Claire Weekes gives you step by step directions to do things like break the cycle of conditioned responses and is very clear on where to place your mind during these times. If you haven't picked that up by reading her, then go back and slowly read her again and follow directions.

This "I Can't" attitude is self- defeatist, it's self-victimizing and isn't helping you, it's holding you hostage. This is mindset work, and you can accomplish this - this is exactly the type of thing you can pick up from reading Ozanich. He's all about the mindset work.

 

My favorite TMS youtube channel is by Tanner Murtaugh, he delves into all aspects of TMS work from the psychological to other elements like conditioned responses:

 

I understand that my brain is creating the symptoms. I understand that there's nothing actually wrong with my butt. Do I don't understand what I'm not understanding.
I know there's nothing actually wrong with me. I know my brain is causing the pain. So what exactly aren't I getting?
I know sitting is harmless.
I tell myself everytime I sit down I can sit pain free because there's nothing wrong with me I'm OK.
I don't understand what it is I don't understand. Because you are saying I haven't understood it. But I don't understand what I'm not understanding

 

What you're not 'taking on board' is that improvement, and ultimately recovery, takes as long as it takes for each of us as individuals.... Most TMSers are not instant 'book cures'* nor 'a few weeks cures' nor 'a few months cures'... to improve and recover they need to do the things that @Cactusflower has so painstakingly advised you about, and to do them persistently and with patience.

(*a so called 'book cure' is where a TMSer reads a book by Dr Sarno and in response their symptoms subside)

 

"I understand that my brain is creating the symptoms. I understand that there's nothing actually wrong with my butt.
I know there's nothing actually wrong with me. I know my brain is causing the pain. So what exactly aren't I getting?"
What is causing the pain? WHY is your brain causing you pain? and by this I don't mean personally. I mean what exactly does Dr. Sarno say is causing the pain? I've mentioned this many times, but you've avoided that topic. You've avoided all discussion of the emotional and focused on information and pain. This is probably the most singular component to begin to truly change the brain, to accept Dr. Sarno's message.

"I know sitting is harmless.
I tell myself every time I sit down I can sit pain free because there's nothing wrong with me I'm OK."
Do you believe this? One of the most valuable things I learned on this forum was make the self-talk true. Don't lie to yourself, and don't reinforce thinking about the physical. Telling you yourself you can sit pain free might not work for you, it might make you anxious knowing that right now you don't sit pain free, and that it may see that sitting pain free is an overwhelming thought that creates anxiety and fear of failure. Every time you don't sit pain free you might be reinforcing the idea that you failed at your goal. Is this something that resonates in your life? Telling yourself you can sit pain free might also simply be reinforcing the physical. This process is one of curiosity, trial and error. If something doesn't work for you over say, a week or two, then switch it up. Instead, why not congratulate yourself for sitting even if it sucks, even when it's painful - tell yourself you are SUCCESSFUL for actually doing it, even if it's 20 seconds. This focuses on the positive, and it sends truthful messages of safety to your brain - that you can do hard things and you are OK doing them even if they are uncomfortable emotionally and physically. This is how you stop pushing away the physical sensations and accept what is in the moment.

Stop focusing on information, and focus on the INTENTION of the information - the idea is that you absorb it, and make it habit. You stop overthinking and trying to find the exact ways that work for you and will work for you forever. Your brain is REALLY good at this, it's had a lifetime to learn all it's ways to help you cope with the true reason you are having pain and other symptoms like anxiety, mindset, repetitive negative thoughts, busy mind etc.

 

I found reading sarno good for explaining whats wrong but he gives no real helpful information on how to do it.
I have been thinking about my emotions. Why this has happened. I've been journalling and crying about what I journalled. Feeling the emotion. Noticing patterns and traits in my life and personality.
The pain started after a traumatic event. And then got worse and worse from there. I didn't realise though.
I keep thinking psychological and I understand why it probably kicked off.
What I dint get is why even though I've journalled and cried and let out my emotions and even discussed some problems with people involved I haven't made a dent in the pain.
I try to give myself messages of safety and stay calm. Trying to bring my nervous system back down.
Maybe I'm doing it all wrong but if I am I don't know what

 

That's why the 42 day Structured Education Programme (SEP) was formulated. You can find the SEP here - it's free - and you could start today: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)

Other than that, this book also shows you "how to do it" very much à la Sarno (however, it requires you to not only to read it, but to put the advice into practice with persistence and patience); it's called 'THE MINDBODY SYNDROME (TMS): A Path to Recovery & Freedom' by Dr Kevin Martillo Viner https://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/B086DB49YC/ref=cm_cr_unknown?ie=UTF8&filterByStar=five_star&reviewerType=all_reviews&pageNumber=1#reviews-filter-bar (Amazon.com)

This is what Steve Ozanich says about Dr Martillo Viner's book:

"In this book, Kevin captured the very essence of the healing message. It is the best TMS book thus far, in that, he provides practical applications such as practicing presence as well as advice on the internal changes necessary to make the shift back into wellness. This is an excellent overview of the healing process."

And these are three reviews on Amazon about the book:

1) "It’s perfect if you’ve already read other books on the topic and don’t need so much back story on TMS but rather want further help with the recovery process."

2) "It's been awhile since Dr. Sarno published his first book. Since then there have been many other TMS books, online courses, podcasts, therapists, pain psychologists, and so on. Which is all great. But for some it can be a bit confusing or even overwhelming. This book does a great job of putting all together and giving you a practical, manageable approach to recovery. There's even some humor in it, which I appreciate. It's a very special book, a book with a heart, and very well written."

3) "With Sarno I consciously understood all that I would ever need to about TMS. Still, I was not where I wanted to be. I was not yet recovered. I spent months and months looking for that magic bullet of information where something would finally fully click. What I didn't realize at the time it wasn't about more information it was about letting it percolate to the core of me, to the unconscious... There is a lot of great TMS literature out there, but before this book I know of no other that focuses so much on process. For me it wasn't about new information, it was about having it sink in."

 

Thank you. I have done most of the SEP.
I will look at this book

 

My understanding it that your brain doesn't feel safe. Surely screaming and shouting at the pain isn't going to make it feel any safer

 

@Sarah89
If I remember, you have been with us for just a few weeks. Was it within this time that you have read the books you have read and done the SEP?

 

I had already made my lists and started journalling and had read the books before I joined here so some of the exercises I had started. All in all I've been at this about 5 weeks

 

This is very very much work for five weeks.
The SEP is to be done one day at a time, no faster.
I started out this way too, reading everything, speeding through it all.
It was information, but not knowledge.
Knowledge is when you can let it seep into your being, and actually practice the things that are in print. That doesn't just mean doing the exercises, it means allowing them, using them as a tool not to just get rid of pain, but as a tool to learn how your defense mechanisms work to mask the rage (as Dr. Sarno says) that is the source (often in combination with other "negative" emotions) that are the cause of our internal pain, stress and eventually physical pain.
I did the SEP in about 3 weeks - and it is a 45 day program
I was just going through the motions, in desperation and anxiety trying to get rid of the symptoms
Personally, my symptoms and anxiety got MUCH worse because I was influencing my nervous system by creating more stress to finish this and get it over with in a frantic way.
Eventually I stopped, and began to slowly read more passages of a few TMS books like Sarno (thanks to @Baseball65 who thoughtfully always points out the passages we should be attending to with utmost importance), many old posts on this forum as wise guides and then @TG957 's book (and a few other non-TMS books about people who healed, and especially their emotional journeys) - It was Tamara's book that resonated with me the most. She talks about her struggles very candidly - how she had been focusing on the physical, how her emotions and anxiety where pervasive through elements of her life, how she had to slow down and stop forcing anything and come to terms with the fact that she COULD heal (she had no role models at the time for her own symptoms) and her courage to make her way through the symptoms, life, work and find her way out. Then once her physical symptoms began dissipate, how she continued working on other symptoms such as overall anxiety & finding life balance. Her book was a vitally important lesson in how to drop timelines and self-pressure, and where to look for the anxiety that manifested in my life....and to not give up! Part of learning to feel safe overall is to be able to truly give up control of things we can't control and focus on the things we can control. Trying to control things we can't leads to a LOT of that subconscious inner angst Sarno suggests we keep returning to focusing on - the stuff we never can truly know might be lurking but eventually suspect and need to accept is part of being human. This is why the SEP takes you through the lists and elements of how personality and the defense mechanisms we learn come into interplay.
Eventually I did the SEP a second time and forced myself to divide each day into two days to take is slow and let it seep in.

 

My question would be if we can never know the reason for the rage because it is suppressed and not accessible. What's the point in jounralling?

 

To become more vulnerable, to be open to feeling your feelings and accept the difference between the person you have created to face the world (this is where defense mechanisms come in) and the person you truly are deep down inside.
If you can't be totally vulnerable during journalism at least on occasion, then you will most likely continue to repress emotions and generate internal stress. To illustrate: picture your mind is a giant bucket of stress you keep adding to until it spills over, and it spills over into your physical body and your nervous system. If you can poke a hole in that bucket, and keep a slow drip, your stress level won't be as likely to spill over. This is hole is journalism (as well as other things - any vulnerable means of self expression and or separating from your thoughts eg. meditation) AND it's TMS maintenance for life.

 

Thank you

 

First of all, thank you, @Cactusflower , for the accolades. Just knowing how my book helped makes my 2 years of working on it worthwhile!
Now, to Sarah's question.
You already got an outstanding advice from very competent people here, so I will add my two cents.
I posted it on this forum before, but I will repeat here. From my 9 years in the TMS world, I found 3 fundamental approaches that are used, either in pure form or as a mix of 3:
1. Classic Sarno/Freudian approach: journaling, psychoanalysis, etc.
2. Power through/cold turkey aka Ozanich: tell your brain that nothing is wrong with you and just return to normal life
3. More of a neuroplasticity approach: dealing with anxiety, meditate, to bring down the stress on your nervous system and use various methods to rewire the brain.
SEP is designed to combine three general approaches above, but it may be a bit overwhelming because it is designed to be generic.
Each person is unique, so you will need to become your own doctor and find the best approach.
You can read my blog on this subject here:

https://defeatcrps.com/blogs/tamaras-blog/#where_start (Tamara’s Blog)

My blog is written for those with CRPS, but everything in it applies to every TMS condition, regardless of specific symptoms.

 

Am I still in your doubt stage? I've dived in head first doing the work but because I've seen no improvement I have doubt I can do it