sore lower back, stiffness,butt pain,numbness comes and goes on left thoracic back

I read sarnos book, and my lower back pain decreased by 70% . I started learning about all the facts about TMS and what are the causes. I re-read the psychology part and TMS treatmeant chapters in heal back pain, here and there. My lower back pain really moves around to the butt area and L4-L5 region & is always sore. my numb back right behind the heart area has been numb for over a year now. I been trying so hard thinking psychologically. I cryed already a few times, been going threw this emotional roller coaster. I will be honest, this TMS thing really scares me, and it has been difficult for me to trust the process and have no doubt about it being TMS. i think unconsciously i believe its 95% TMS.. how can i change this? Also every moring when i wake up, the pain is the first thing i think about! its has beocme a habit ! rolling of my bed with a sore BUTT! i really want to move on with my life and put this thing in my past. I understand that i am difforent, and that it may take longer.

on the bright side-
i have reduced the amount of pain symptoms by a lot. The sensations do not scare me as they did before so badly to the point of panic.
before i was terrified! but i think i am a slow learner. so here i am today, coping , really learning in becoming someone who shifts himself from the chronic pain mentality to someone who deals with his emotions better.

anyone with input? i would really appreciate the support.

Kind Regards MICHAEL S age 25

 

You have excellent evidence to work with, that is, you had a 70 percent pain reduction just by reading a book. You also have clear indications of the 'symptom imperative' as your mind tries to keep you distracted. Have no fear, this is just your own mind creating these physical symptoms. Work more towards outcome independence this will really launch you on your way to a full recovery.