Stages of TMS

I shouldn't do this, but I do. I wonder where I am in my healing journey. I would have to say I'm in "intermittent symptom" TMS. When I am symptomatic I'm still afraid and doubtful. Similar to Steve O, whose book I'm reading, I wonder if I have to settle for "intermittent stage" TMS. Maybe I've done all the healing I've can and this is just it. How does anyone "know" that they're going to be free and asymptomatic at some point "in the future"? Blind faith?

Sorry to be a downer.

 

Shanshu, I viewed it that since others I'd read about were free of pain, I would be too. And the day did come for me.

It takes as long as it takes!

 

Thanks Lori. (I have a good friend named Lori).

Yet does that mean I'll endlessly be in therapy, trying to get to that point?

 

If you're using a therapist, I would make sure it's someone who will not dis-count the role of emotions in pain/conditions. And I don't think it will be endless!

In the mid-2000s I took a course that showed how to explore emotions, and that was very helpful for my being able to explore feelings when I was hit with agonizing back pain and learned about TMS. I do recall it was uncomfortable to explore feelings at first, and I remember when I started this course (ebt.org) and I had to express anger, sadness, fear, and guilt, and also grateful, happy, secure and proud--I remember sitting and trying to pinpoint these feelings. I eventually got the hang of it and could spew feelings when I journaled!

My point is: don't give up! The relief from pain could come along sooner than you realize! I remember Dr. Sarno telling me: "You will be sitting sooner than you know" (could not sit at the time--laid on his floor)! It was hard for me to believe due to the pain I was in--especially when sitting. But he was right! The pain did go away--but I did apply myself to his program.

Warm wishes for healing,

Lori

 

You will only be in therapy endlessly if you think you will be.

Everyone once wondered if they too would be only partially-healed. But those same people made it all the way, you can too. I felt I would never heal, but here I am. Doubt is one thing that prevents final healing. So it must be slowly replaced. If you are reading my book you know that I fell back many times, but I kept persistent. I also wrote that it might be better for some people to heal slower than others because it's psychologically safer for them.

Too much too soon may be fearful for many. The pain hides the true self, maybe you aren't ready to unveil him yet.

Some people enjoy people telling them what to do, others like to heal on their own, it's a "strength issue." I believe we heal according to how we learn, by our strengths. Some people learn by kinesthetics, some by audio, and some visually. Doing vs. hearing vs. seeing. St. Thomas was a "visual" man--He needed to see it all to believe it. Some just read and heal, I could never do that, reading is not a strength of mine. I learned best by hearing. So Dr. Sarno's voice propelled me to new heights.

Find your strength and heal in your own time, not according to people you see here, who are healing. Your life is on your own schedule. You're the boss of you life, but don't fire yourself before the job is done.

Good luck, I'm pulling for you, you will heal, and don't settle for less.

Steve

 

@ Lori: Thank you. The therapist I'm using is big in the TMS community, none other than Alan Gordon. I've never heard much about EFT (is it anything like EMDR); glad it helped you. One thing I've realized is that journalling is too "diluted" or "sterile" for me. Yes, I can intellectually process what's going on on the page, and I feel emotion stirring, but it's like it's not *enough* of a cathartic. And I've made tremendous progress with Alan over about 5 months. When he takes me to task, I can actually *feel* emotions. It's something I'm working on, something of a journey; I'm just really unsettled because I feel like I've slipped back.

Surprisingly, it's not *pain* per se anymore that's holding me back. It's this horrible *stuck* feeling in the back of my throat and intermittent yet VERY frequent jaw tension (not teeth grinding, but jaw tension---"TMJ" was my very first TMS manifestation). And...it's the anxiety going along with not knowing.

@ Steve: Thank you too! I'm at the point in your book where you are describing your healing journey of however-long-it-took. Don't mean to re-invent the wheel here but succintly speaking, I was doing well pain-wise when all of a sudden I developed the globus/jaw tension returned. Succintly, the backdrop is that I have been working with/under Dr. Schechter since 10/1, who diagnosed me last year after I had introspectively self-diagnosed, here in California, in my position as a visiting resident doctor from PA. The globus set in *BAM* out of the blue a few days before 9/29 when I flew out here, and I'm trying very hard not to let it rattle me sometimes. It does come and go, seemingly.

I need time to digest your advice. Thanks for cheering me on when the road seems dark. Thanks everyone.