Daniel L. Stubborn, recurrent knee pain

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Question

I have read virtually every book out there and have a classic TMS personality. I deeply believe I have it; cured horrible neck and back pain using the techniques, etc.

Recently, I had been experiencing knee problems to the point where I could not walk down a set of stairs without hanging on to the hand rail (or lacking a rail, another person) My daughter reminded me of my long history with TMS so I re-read several of my favorite books and the problem disappeared. Yet recently, it suddenly came back with a vengeance. My question is, how do I deal with this? I KNOW it is TMS, I think about emotions as it is occurring, yet nothing works. Any thoughts or suggestions would be deeply appreciated. Thank you

 

Answer

The reason that people are able to read a TMS book (or even just remind themselves of their past TMS issues) and eliminate their pain is because confidence in the TMS diagnosis eliminates fear. When you have confidence that the pain you’re experiencing is TMS, your give yourself permission to relax and not be afraid of your pain. When you’re not sure what is causing the pain, your fear increases.

Fear. It’s all about fear. Think of your fear as a watering can (I’m writing this from my garden). Every single time you allow yourself to become afraid, you turn on the hose and fill up the can a little bit. That includes fear about your pain, fear about your feelings, fear about talking about sensitive subjects, and even just fear about talking to a stranger at the grocery store. Any fear at all adds water to that watering can.

Eventually, that watering can will overflow. If you keep filling it up with fear, then pain happens. Again, this isn’t just about fear of your pain – this is all fear.

Here’s the good news: you can pour the water out of the can (and water your tomato plans while you’re at it).

Every time you challenge a fear and face it head on. Every time you notice your anxiety rising and you take a step back, breathe, and remind yourself that you’re safe. Every time you cognitively talk yourself out of being afraid.

Each and every one of those times, you pour water out of the can. Now you’re not going to 100% eliminate fear from your life, nor should you. But when you allow fear to dictate your daily decisions, then your watering can is going to overflow on a regular basis (pain!).

My hunch is that in the past you were able to eliminate the fear concerning your symptoms, but not fear in other areas of your life. And maybe the idea of ‘fear’ doesn’t resonate with you. Perhaps anxiety, unease, or questioning yourself are more appropriate for you. At any given moment, as yourself “Am I as confident and relaxed as I can be right now?” If the answer is no more than 75% of the time, then you have some work to do.

Don’t be afraid – your pain will go away. You’ve seen it in the past. Now, go out and challenge some fears (your tomatoes need watering anyway)!

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